Monday, June 8, 2009

Surgery is tomorrow...Calm my soul

Tomorrow is my planned surgery to re-excise and attempt to remove all the remaining cancer. Again. Please pray that the Great Physician guides my good physician to eradicate every single rogue cell. I am wrestling with my very beautiful good God that all of the cancer be removed. Again.


I have had the flu over the weekend and it has been rough. Very rough. I vomited for about 5 hours during the early hours of Sunday morning. Couldn't even keep down water. Pretty spent on Sunday. I'm much better today and have been cleared by my doctor to move ahead with surgery tomorrow. I plan to try to get re-hydrated today---still rather weak from the flu. But the best plan I know is Isaiah 40:31 that those who wait for the LORD will renew their strength---and then I can walk and not faint. He knows. Yes, He knows.


This morning my husband read to me Psalm 131. It's only three verses long. He could not have picked a better word for me this sultry morn. Last summer this chapter meant the world to me in what I faced at that time. And, again, this morning, God showed up at our breakfast table and I have tears streaming down knowing this word is really from Him to me. It's what I need to do to repent, to surrender, to think about as HE continues to make me into the person He created me to be. So here it is. It's my heartfelt humble scared prayer for tomorrow's surgery. I'm depending on HIM to do what only HE can do in my heart and in my body.


Psalm 131
O LORD, my heart is not lifted up;
My eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things too great
and too marvelous for me.
But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child is my soul within me.
Oh my soul, hope in the LORD, from this moment and
forever.

God determines the length of our days, doesn't HE? What I can look for as I face surgery, as I face life, is to look for rest and peace in HIM. To learn even in my fifties to more fully love my God, my husband, my family, my friends. And to learn how to receive His Love in the ways HE is caring for me which is sometimes different than what I thought would be. HE is asking me to surrender my body tomorrow to a surgeon and surrender my heart, every moment I grasp, to the Great Physician. I praise Him greatly for all HE has done for me to this very day and all HE will do. HE is a good God, no matter what happens! Please pray for a successful surgery tomorrow. God just loves that we knock on His door and ask Him. He is bending His Ear to me and to you this moment. Bending low from Heaven to the earth. Trying to get more of heaven in me. Psalm 18:6 - my cry has reached His ears. Would you please ask Him for me that no cancer remains in me after tomorrow. Or even today! Such a privilege to be a fellow struggler and walk this journey alongside people who care! I'd be so touched if you prayed for me when my God brings me to your mind tomorrow. I'd be honored if you left a comment on this post. My last post was closed to comments because of the weightiness of the issues we face, but all comments are open from now on.

My Gratitude and Love,
Scared and Surrendered, Bev

36 comments:

Dee 6/08/2009  

Bev, I am praying, and I will continue to pray that there will be no cancer left. I am also praying for your continued encouragement in the Lord.
Love to you,
Deidra

Lisa 6/08/2009  

Bev,
I am lifting you up in prayer to the Great Physician and placing you in His hands and asking that He hold you close. May you feel His love with every heartbeat. Trusting you into His care.
Blessings ~ Lisa

Karen 6/08/2009  

praying for you, dear one, and I will continue to do so.

love,
karen

I sought the Lord and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears.
Psalm 34:4

Angela 6/08/2009  

Praise Jesus that you do not have to muster up any strength at all- it is He who will give you every ounce of strength you need. I pray that you would indeed surrender and allow Him to carry you.

Much love,
angela

Toknowhim 6/08/2009  

I have been having trouble sleeping as of late, and several times (including last night) the Lord reminds me to pray for you, my dear precious Bev... I will keep praying for you..

Love ya so... Kim

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend 6/08/2009  

Will be praying that everything goes smooth tomorrow. That every nurse and doctor that crosses your path will offer HOPE and LOVE and ENCOURAGEMENT...and that all cancer will be gone.

With love,
Teresa

annie's eyes 6/08/2009  

Praying for you, for your heart, for your peace...for Him to fell the enemies of fear and sickness. Love you, Annette

Psalm 107:20-21 (NIV) –”He sent forth his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave.
Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men.”

CAROL LIVIN FOR GOD 6/08/2009  

Hi Bev this is carol your seista in Albuquerque nm defintley will be praying for you and the surgeons and nurses. Lord we bring Bev to you we ask that you will comfort her watch over her give her peace and only the peace that you can give. Lord we ask that she would be strenghten thru Our Great Healer Give her a good nights rest Lord protect her mind Thank you for our sweet seista we ask this in your name Carol

cindie 6/08/2009  

Bev...I will definitely be praying that the surgeon will remove any trace of cancer and that the Great Physician will be guiding his hands. I pray that you will have peace as you go into the surgery and that your family will feel His peace as well.
And lastly I pray that all of the decisions that will need to be made in the days and weeks ahead will be God ordained and that He will work all things out for His good.

Kristin 6/08/2009  

Praying for all the cancer to be removed from your body. Also praying for wisdom and clear direction in the decision that you are facing.
Much love ~ Kristin

Michelle V 6/08/2009  

I'm praying for you, Bev!

Blessings
Michelle

JnL4God 6/08/2009  

Bev
I have prayed for you and will continue to do so.
John 10:10 (paraphrased) The theif comes only to kill steal and destroy but I have come that you would have life more abundantly.
God does not necessarily number our days. We do that with our words our actions and our unbeilf. Jesus paid a price so that we are healed. "By His stripes we ARE Healed." Don't let the devil scare that promise and gift away from you.
You will LIVE and not die and declare the works of our LORD. God is Not a respector of persons and if He healed anyone He can and will heal you - you just need to believe it.
Faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen. You may not be able to see your healing this minute but it is there.
There are facts and truths. The fact is you are battling cancer. The truth (Jesus is the way the truth and the life) is you are healed in Jesus name.
I hope all of this makes sense, I was trying to cram it all in on my lunch break.
Love you and am continuing to hold you in prayer.
Lynn - OR
(I did part of the cover to cover with you last year.)

Mary Lou 6/08/2009  

Bev, as I have told you I have not stopped praying and will pray till I have no breath. I have prayed for everyone involved in the surgery..good restful sleep, for Him to guide thier hands and be thier skill. For Him to be there and hold your hand and guide all of thiers. And as I told you,you were heavy on my heart on Saturday, that was Him...so we all know that you are on His mind,since He is leading us to pray at all times. Walking with you, holding up your arms in prayer. Love and blessings and hugs...Mary Lou He is faithful..we both know that and His timing is always perfect, no matter what we think.

Bobbie 6/08/2009  

You'll be in my prayers tomorrow as we travel to Colorado. I'm praying that all hands and hearts that you come in contact with tomorrow will be guided by the hand of our Great Physician and that your Doc will get every last cancer cell. Bev, you're the strongest lady I know! I do know that the strength you're sharing with us can only be provided by Him. I love that you're sharing with us and letting us lend our thoughts and prayers. You're a very special Siesta and I can't wait to hear from you later this week. Please know that you'll never be more than a prayer away.

May He keep you wrapped in His loving arms, that all fear will vanish and you'll feel secure.

In His love, Bobbie
Bobbie

Nise' 6/08/2009  

I will definitely be praying for you not only tomorrow for the surgeon to eradicate every single cancer cell but this evening as well, as I know He will calm and quiet your soul.

PS: I have been listening over and over to Chris Tomlin's I Will Rise as it is speaking hugely to me!

Fran 6/08/2009  

Absolutely praying for you Bev....every day.

May He cover you in His love and peace.

We all love you!!!

twinkle 6/08/2009  

Bev, you are in good hands. Thinking and praying about this time next year and what a blessing it will be to have this all behind you. God has you in His arms. He is csrrying you.

I was reading in Genesis about Abraham sending his servant to get a bride for Isaac. The servant prayed SPECIFICALLY that the woman God wanted for Isaac would give him water from the well, and water for his camels, too. That was how he would know who was the chosen bride.

I loved this specific prayer. And the bride was revealed to have a compassionate heart, even for the beasts of burden.

Dear LORD, I pray specifically that You would show Bev in a dream what she is to do. That Bev will know this dream is Your Voice speaking to her when she is relaxed and at rest. Silence her own thoughts...taking them captive. Silence the influence of the enemy and his legion. Silence everyone else and just speak. May she hear Your message. Your sheep hear Your Voice, and know You, and follow You. I pray that for Bev. Tenderly care for her and provide all her needs according to Your riches in glory. In Jesus Name. Amen.

twinkle 6/08/2009  

Sorry for the typo, Bev. It's late here in Georgia.

He is carrying you, my siesta.

Anonymous 6/08/2009  

LOVE LOVE LOVE! I picture you with arms wide open and ready to receive. So many love you and I am proud of you. Words are to small, so LOVE LOVE LOVE!

Ang baylis 6/08/2009  

I'm praying, too, Bev! You have such a strong supportive team of prayer warriors! God is bigger than all of this! He is HUGE! I'm praying your faith continues to grow!
Love you,
Angie xoxo

kathleen in TX 6/08/2009  

Praying for you Bev! May God give you peace and comfort tomorrow and carry you through this.

For I, the LORD your God,
hold your right hand;
it is I who say to you
"Fear not, I am the one who
helps you."
Isaiah 41:13

He Knows My Name 6/08/2009  

Praying for you Bev and so is Jesus He is interceding just for you.

love, janel

Lisa 6/09/2009  

Praying Psalm 20 for you.

May the LORD answer you when you are in distress;
may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.
May He send you help from the sanctuary and grant you support from Zion.
May He remember all your sacrifices
and accept your burnt offerings.
Selah
May He give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.
We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God.
May the LORD grant all your requests.
Now I know that the LORD saves His anointed; He answers him from His holy heaven with the saving power of His right hand.
Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.
They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm.
O LORD, save the king!
Answer us when we call!

annie's eyes 6/09/2009  

It's 9:46 a.m. on Tuesday and I am setting aside this time for you and Cathy--both of you are in surgery right now. Your Great Healer is mightily at work. He is your wisdom and strength. Rest, dear Bev, in Him, in His sure and catching arms. He loves you so. Continuing to pray...Love you, Annette

Shonda 6/09/2009  

I felt prompted to stop by at 10 am this Tuesday morning and I realize now that I'm to pray for you this morning. I'm praying now as you are probably in surgery. I pray in agreement with you that all cancer be gone in the name of Jesus.
Lots of love-
Shonda

twinkle 6/09/2009  

Praying!

Father, give Bev time. Time to see college strengthen her children. Time to see careers for her children unfold by Your Hand. I pray for a future full of hope. I see her in a rocking chair holding a beautiful grandchild...weeping tears of joy for what You have favored her with. Time. Precious Time. Let her testimony be one of victory AND complete faith in You. Give her that future where she can tell of Your work of healing in her life. In Jesus Name. Amen.

Mike 6/09/2009  

Hey Bev,
I just found out about this today. I will be praying for you. Hang in there.
Mike Kneafsey

Anonymous 6/09/2009  

Bev,
Since God rewards those who diligently seek Him, I know you are being rewarded with His precious presence tonight. Your body is His temple and He is taking such good care of it and of your innermost self. I love you dear, dear friend.
Nancy Purtell

Susan 6/10/2009  

Bev. You have been on my heart and in my prayers constantly.
Much love, dear Sister-in-Christ
Susan

Stephanie 6/10/2009  

Bev this is the first time I have visited your site. I pray that Jehovah Rapha is by your bedside this evening. Matthew 18:20 For where two or three come together in my name,there am I with them. Just know that God has never left your side.God Never Fails

Sallye 6/10/2009  

Bev,

Praying for you saw the update on Holly's blog that you made it through surgery, but are having pain. Praying for releif from the pain, sweet rest, and wisdom.

Just praying for you period my friend.

Sallye

Bobbie 6/10/2009  

Bev,

You've been on my mind these last few days-I'm glad to hear the surgery went fine (received a note from Holly) and am praying for a peace in your heart with your decision this Friday and all the comfort you need as you heal.

Prayin'! Bobbie

kathleen in TX 6/11/2009  

Praying for you Bev!

Anonymous 6/11/2009  

We are praying for you and Bob. You are in our thoughts often. I am constantly amazed at your knowledge of scripture, what a blessing that you have so much in your heart for the Lord to pull out when you need it the most.

Love, Debbie Sanders

Rhonda 6/11/2009  

Praying for you Bev. You are a blessing:)

B 6/11/2009  

Knowing and trusting God to give you and Bob specific and personal guidance.

When He the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. John 16:13

Praying daily for you dear friend. Love,Anne

Praying for Our Friend Joanne Psalm 131:3 Waiting on God. Hope Now. Hope Always.

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