Monday, June 15, 2009

Anesthesia was super scary - June 19th

UPDATE ON Friday June 19th Surgery: Surgery today went well. I'm in a little more pain than I thought after three surgeries. I had a huge problem recovering from the anesthesia. Versed. Oh my! Felt worse than I could have imagined. They gave me more anesthesia than expected. Thanks so much for praying that our beautiful God remove all the cancer. Trusting Him, no matter what. Romans 8:26. I sent the verse to Abby and she was sending it right back to me---that was so God! The surgical report comes back on Tuesday. Please pray for clear margins!

Britt is doing a CHARITY fundraiser garage sale w/10 families SATURDAY JUNE 20th for children in Chiang-Mai, Thailand at The Horne's---you just have to go by if you live in Austin. Twelve Hyde Park high school students have pulled this off. So disappointed I can't be there to help but the Hornse are amazing in hosting this. The students picked up donated items like wrought iron lawn furniture, designer clothing, furniture, tons of electronics. All the money they make will go to help Nat walk again---he's an 11-year-old that Britt met in one of the villages in Thailand. Brooke took him to the doctor today for an evaluation---it cost $6 for the hospital visit. He will need physical therapy. And the rest of the money raised will help buy clothing and food for tribal village children as Brooke wraps up three years in Thailand---she'll be home July 24th. Pray that people buy lots of stuff and give a few extra dollars to make a difference in the lives of these needy children who are so loved by God.

The Following Post is from Thursday: I can't thank you enough for all of you who stopped to pray for me on Thursday at 8:15pm.

A strange peace came over me as I listened to the mild-mannered unperturbed words of my surgeon this morning. I jotted at the top of my notes "5 loaves and 2 fish." God is going to have to help me get through this appointment. The soliloquy was not the measure of concern that came from the oncologist's pathology report interpretation on Friday. My surgeon was wide awake in surgical strategy actually saying: "Your margins are clear but there is now a second focus of another invasive cancer that is only 3 mm. I removed that new cancerous tiny tumor on Tuesday but those margins are not clear. You now have multi-focal cancer and need final clear margins. I don't recommend a mastectomy at this point, just a partial one. Can we do surgery this Friday at 10:30am to clear those margins?"

Can I please take like a week to mull over this and pray and ponder. No, I can't. I have one minute not one week to wonder. The words spilled out of my mouth with such ease. "Yes, I will submit again to one more surgery this coming Friday." But, I have to be hydrated and over this bacterial infection or I can't do it. So, pray that my body continues to recover. Since the two liters of IV on Friday along with antibiotics, I have been able to keep food down. I have continued to improve every day.

God has continued to open doors for me that are amazing. I'm simply awestruck over here at what He is doing in my heart. I was so upset the day after surgery thinking a "purse thief" took two $20 bills out of my wallet at the hospital. It was my husband who put the money back in the bank since I actually wasn't going anywhere. I thought differently. Funny the things we let bother us rather than choose to love. I asked God to give me back that money and someone at church handed me a normal #11 business envelope with a bunch of $20 bills crammed in it. And here I was, actually surprised at God! It was anonymous---they wanted me to know it was from God. $500 of bills. I think there's more surgery going on in my heart than in my body. Ways I look at things that don't please Him. Sin that comes out of me that so surprises me. And beautiful opportunities to repent before the God Who has taken care of all of our sins. There's hope for my sin!

Attempting Tuesday's surgery while being dehydrated was really devastating. That's the difficult thing in this cancer journey---you manage your own care. I'm not with all the same oncology group---my second and third opinions brought me to other groups. You may ask why---when a radiation oncologist answers my question that his machines are 10 years old, I think I have to find more cutting edge technology. Maybe I'm wrong and it's okay. It does create a medical team that communicates by snail mail. I carry all my own records everywhere, every time. And I'm not medical. But they know I will ask every question that comes to my mind and from my research. And most of the time, I don't know what I'm doing. But this I know----my beautiful God's arm is not too short for me. Isaiah 50:2 - when I called, was there none to answer? Is my arm so short for you? I want to hear Him calling and answer in all my moments, the good ones and the hard ones and the silent ones when I wonder if He is listening.

Bob and I walked out of the surgeon's office looking at each other in amazement with peace. We went straight to the Austin hospital to pick up the tumor, tissue slides. And Bob actually drove my tumor from that Austin hospital to MDAnderson in Houston today for a second opinion on the pathology report. I was not strong enough to take the six-hour round trip. My husband is quite amazing even though he has been accused of being a "purse thief." Isaiah 33:6 describes him well---Christ is the stability of his times and this man offers me so much hope and courage and love, so much!

I am going to take Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday and retreat. I'm going to a private place by myself to read and listen and wrestle and wonder and praise the beautiful God Who is so carrying me through this. You won't hear from me over the next three days, only intermittently. I won't be blogging or answering e-mail's or texts or phone calls. He is calling me to fast my words, fast my connections and come to Him.

Then, Thursday night, at 8:15PM at our Mo-Pac apartment, I welcome any of you in Austin to join me and my family to pray for me ---- about 30 minutes. Maybe some of you, like my dear friends Holly and Annette, will slip to your knees where you are some time during that half hour. I know my children will be praying at that moment whether in Thailand or Korea or California or DC---wherever they are. Let me throw in a congratulations to Barrett who came in 10th at a Half Ironman Triathlon in Korea yesterday winning a couple of thousand dollars.

Join us and pray with us, to the same God, Whose arm is not short for me--- even though some of you bloggers will be sitting miles and miles away. God will be listening on Thursday evening to you and your family---send a thought for me. And for any of you close by, just drop by at 8:15pm on Thursday. Call Bob 512.541.5772 for directions to our apartment. It will be the eve of my surgery and I'm asking you to pray. I would be so humbled by your presence before our God for me, whether in body or in spirit. God says in Isaiah 65:24: "Before you even call, I will answer." Please do! I'm still scared but surrendered! Still a mess, but a glorious one! Cannot thank you enough for your praying for me and walking alongside! I need community. I'll talk to you all after my Friday surgery. And maybe I might see some of you on Thursday night---that would be a joy!

27 comments:

Mary Lou 6/16/2009  

I would be there IF I were not so far away. I am already there in spirit. I have so prayed for your peace...praise God for His beautiful peace. You so radiated His peace in this post. I will slip to my knees on Thursday and lay hands on you long distance. You are loved by Him and countless others. He is seeing you thru this and touching you thru so many lives. Your words are touching others for Him..you are showing Him in your attitude..are you perfect, no but He is and He is showing Himself strong in your weakness. He is carrying you on His shoulders...Deut. 33:12....I wondered why He gave me that verse to learn these next two weeks with Beth and now I know...for you and for others He will bring across my path. Hang on to Him as you have been..praying for you and loving you in Him...Mary Lou

Fran 6/16/2009  

Hi Bev...
I'm praying alongside you Thursday evening. I'm praying every day for you. I hope these days away bring you much rest, peace, and a sweet presence of Christ.

Love you so very much. I'd be there in a heartbeat if I could. My heart is always with you.

So much love,
Fran

CAROL LIVIN FOR GOD 6/16/2009  

Hi Bev I am marking my calender right now I will be on my knees for you and your family. I just am in awe when I read your blog how you are at peace that is God all over you sweet thing . Thank you for sharing with us seista and keeping us posted. Your seista in Albuquerque NM CAROL

cindyk 6/16/2009  

Bev! I can't be there THursday night but I will be lifting you up. Our God is mighty to save!!! Love you sweet friend. Cindy

Sallye 6/16/2009  

Bev, I will be joining you in spirit on Thursday evening. Reading the history of David and Goliath. Thinking of how God is equiping you to go up against this Goliath named cancer. He is your shield, your sword. He will fight this battle for you. As it says in Romans if God is for us who can be against us.

Love you and praying for you my sweet friend. I am humbled and encouraged by the testimony that God is giving you.

Sallye

Yvette 6/16/2009  

We will be praying for you here by the lake in Texas. Firm on our knees before our loving Father for you Bev.

Yvette and family

annie's eyes 6/16/2009  

So carried. So loved. He will be your Stronghold, your Peace. He assures us He will not let go. I'll be praying at 8:15, with all His saints who have been called to petition on your behalf. Receive with open arms His healing and provision for this season. He's as close as your whisper of surrender. Love you, sweet one. Annette

Kristin 6/16/2009  

I'll be praying on Thursday at 8:15!
Much love, Kristin

twinkle 6/16/2009  

+

Tim 6/16/2009  

Mrs. Brandon, I know you dont know me. I'm friends with Brooke, and just through a quick visit she made to California a few years ago with the Six Chicks. :) I've followed her blog since, and yours since your diagnosis. I pray that you find your identity in Jesus, not as a patient. I pray that in that, you find peace and grace where least expected. I pray for your family, your husband, your daughter and son... While the cost of a trip to Texas would be prohibitive, I will commit to be praying at the same time as everyone else...

Grace and peace to you,

Tim Kaye

HIS Child 6/16/2009  

Bev,

I will be praying along side all, and I continue to lift you to Him as you are on my mind. You bless so many. "Praise the King" is playing as I type this, so fitting. Much love from California.

Celeste

Rhonda 6/16/2009  

will be before the throne for you. you are gloriously and wonderfully made. He knitted you together and nothing snatches you from His hand. I know you have heard it before but it is what I will be praying for you.

Warrior in Training 6/16/2009  

Mrs. Bev I wanted to write to tell you I will be praying for you thursday night.
You are so beautiful, your love of the Lord is so beautiful, your strength is so beautiful. I am so inspired and challenged by your walk with our Daddy God.
I met you through another blog, probably Living Proof. Anyway I have been blessed by your words more than you know. Stretched to believe God for unbelievable things.
I am so grateful our paths crossed. I know I am here on this blog for a reason.
OUR GOD IS SOOOOOO FAITHFUL!!!!!!
It is amazing to me how connected we all are, how much we can feel love for people we know only from words on a page, how blessed we can feel from our connection, how touched our hearts can be by people we have never seen face to face. God knits us together as His body so wonderfully.
I would have been so honored to be the arms God used to put around your neck. I am just glad He sent someone. How extravagant His love for us really is.
Katie-pensacola, fl

Holly 6/16/2009  

Aw now. You have me crying. Of course I will be on my knees then. And as often as God brings you to mind (which is often) I will be on my knees, wherever I am. You are my friend, Bev, my sweet, dear friend. I am praying for His strength to infuse your body. I am praying for His Presence with you in your quiet.
Love you so much!
Holly

Nise' 6/16/2009  

Praying for you to get over the infection and be totally hydrated this week. I will also be in prayer with you Thursday evening even though I am far away, we are united by His Spirit!

Shonda 6/17/2009  

I'm praying for you Bev!
I love you dearly.
Shonda

Jesusistheparty! 6/17/2009  

I will pray for you from Kentucky! Love in christ, Dana

Stephanie Logan 6/17/2009  

I'll be at your apartment at 8:15 PM tomorrow. Love you. See you then.

He Knows My Name 6/17/2009  

Will be praying thurs. 8:15.

love, janel

Jean 6/18/2009  

Praying here at 8:15, Bev. I love you. Think about you all the time.

Love, Jean

Bobbie 6/18/2009  

Bev,

I would give anything to be in Austin tonight with you and all your loved ones! I pray that you will feel the many, many prayers that will be said for you, your family, and your doctors. I'll be on my knees for you, that's for sure. Praying for a calm and courageous day tomorrow also.

I pray that your time away has given you more peace and that you've been able to feel those big loving arms of our God wrapped tightly around you.

Love, Bobbie

Rhonda 6/18/2009  

Gotcha covered tonight:)

Little Steps Of Faith 6/19/2009  

Dear Sweet Friend:) I have to tell you that you are definitely not in this alone, by any means, My memory verse #12 made me think of you, because the end of Psalm 16:8- said it was dear to you..well, the Lord made me remember the beginning of Psalm 16 too:)
AND I THOUGHT OF YOU!
" You have assigned me my portion and my cup, you have made my lots secure, the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places, surely I have a delightful inheritance."
I didn't get to go to the Siesta Fiesta last year, and I know you would have helped me go, but I know how much more blessed I am to have gotten to know so many of my siestas from a distance and having a longer time to get to know their heart. I HOPE and PRAY that you will be at Houston, so I can drop to my knees and pray right then and there no matter whose around us.
Love you Sweet Bev:)
The King is enthralled with you:)

:) angie

jennyhope 6/20/2009  

I love you Bev. I am praying!

Mary Lou 6/20/2009  

Sweet Bev, so thankful that you put an update on here. I have prayed for you and had you so heavy on my heart and wanted to know so much how you were. I was reading something else and this jumped out at me and I thought of you...2 Cor. 4:8-9. I truly see you trading your sorrows for the joy of the Lord. You bless my heart. Praying and hugs...Love, Mary Lou

Sallye 6/20/2009  

Bev,

You have been on my lips to our Father.

Praying for you.

Sallye

helenw13 6/22/2009  

Dearest Bev,

Just popping over to tell you have I been praying and will continue. Bless you for being so courageous to blog about each and every detail of this road you are on...it gives us vital specifics in which to pray.

Much love and wishing I could give you a hug other than from cyberspace...

Helen

Praying for Our Friend Joanne Psalm 131:3 Waiting on God. Hope Now. Hope Always.

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I've met some amazing women through blogging. I would love to hear from you. My personal e-mail is:
sixbrandons@gmail.com
I have another blog where I blog daily as a small group of us read through the New Testament this year. It's called A String of Pearls. We carry each other on mats (when we just can't walk anymore) to Jesus and sweet things like that.

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