Anesthesia was super scary - June 19th

UPDATE ON Friday June 19th Surgery: Surgery today went well. I'm in a little more pain than I thought after three surgeries. I had a huge problem recovering from the anesthesia. Versed. Oh my! Felt worse than I could have imagined. They gave me more anesthesia than expected. Thanks so much for praying that our beautiful God remove all the cancer. Trusting Him, no matter what. Romans 8:26. I sent the verse to Abby and she was sending it right back to me---that was so God! The surgical report comes back on Tuesday. Please pray for clear margins!

Britt is doing a CHARITY fundraiser garage sale w/10 families SATURDAY JUNE 20th for children in Chiang-Mai, Thailand at The Horne's---you just have to go by if you live in Austin. Twelve Hyde Park high school students have pulled this off. So disappointed I can't be there to help but the Hornse are amazing in hosting this. The students picked up donated items like wrought iron lawn furniture, designer clothing, furniture, tons of electronics. All the money they make will go to help Nat walk again---he's an 11-year-old that Britt met in one of the villages in Thailand. Brooke took him to the doctor today for an evaluation---it cost $6 for the hospital visit. He will need physical therapy. And the rest of the money raised will help buy clothing and food for tribal village children as Brooke wraps up three years in Thailand---she'll be home July 24th. Pray that people buy lots of stuff and give a few extra dollars to make a difference in the lives of these needy children who are so loved by God.

The Following Post is from Thursday: I can't thank you enough for all of you who stopped to pray for me on Thursday at 8:15pm.

A strange peace came over me as I listened to the mild-mannered unperturbed words of my surgeon this morning. I jotted at the top of my notes "5 loaves and 2 fish." God is going to have to help me get through this appointment. The soliloquy was not the measure of concern that came from the oncologist's pathology report interpretation on Friday. My surgeon was wide awake in surgical strategy actually saying: "Your margins are clear but there is now a second focus of another invasive cancer that is only 3 mm. I removed that new cancerous tiny tumor on Tuesday but those margins are not clear. You now have multi-focal cancer and need final clear margins. I don't recommend a mastectomy at this point, just a partial one. Can we do surgery this Friday at 10:30am to clear those margins?"

Can I please take like a week to mull over this and pray and ponder. No, I can't. I have one minute not one week to wonder. The words spilled out of my mouth with such ease. "Yes, I will submit again to one more surgery this coming Friday." But, I have to be hydrated and over this bacterial infection or I can't do it. So, pray that my body continues to recover. Since the two liters of IV on Friday along with antibiotics, I have been able to keep food down. I have continued to improve every day.

God has continued to open doors for me that are amazing. I'm simply awestruck over here at what He is doing in my heart. I was so upset the day after surgery thinking a "purse thief" took two $20 bills out of my wallet at the hospital. It was my husband who put the money back in the bank since I actually wasn't going anywhere. I thought differently. Funny the things we let bother us rather than choose to love. I asked God to give me back that money and someone at church handed me a normal #11 business envelope with a bunch of $20 bills crammed in it. And here I was, actually surprised at God! It was anonymous---they wanted me to know it was from God. $500 of bills. I think there's more surgery going on in my heart than in my body. Ways I look at things that don't please Him. Sin that comes out of me that so surprises me. And beautiful opportunities to repent before the God Who has taken care of all of our sins. There's hope for my sin!

Attempting Tuesday's surgery while being dehydrated was really devastating. That's the difficult thing in this cancer journey---you manage your own care. I'm not with all the same oncology group---my second and third opinions brought me to other groups. You may ask why---when a radiation oncologist answers my question that his machines are 10 years old, I think I have to find more cutting edge technology. Maybe I'm wrong and it's okay. It does create a medical team that communicates by snail mail. I carry all my own records everywhere, every time. And I'm not medical. But they know I will ask every question that comes to my mind and from my research. And most of the time, I don't know what I'm doing. But this I know----my beautiful God's arm is not too short for me. Isaiah 50:2 - when I called, was there none to answer? Is my arm so short for you? I want to hear Him calling and answer in all my moments, the good ones and the hard ones and the silent ones when I wonder if He is listening.

Bob and I walked out of the surgeon's office looking at each other in amazement with peace. We went straight to the Austin hospital to pick up the tumor, tissue slides. And Bob actually drove my tumor from that Austin hospital to MDAnderson in Houston today for a second opinion on the pathology report. I was not strong enough to take the six-hour round trip. My husband is quite amazing even though he has been accused of being a "purse thief." Isaiah 33:6 describes him well---Christ is the stability of his times and this man offers me so much hope and courage and love, so much!

I am going to take Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday and retreat. I'm going to a private place by myself to read and listen and wrestle and wonder and praise the beautiful God Who is so carrying me through this. You won't hear from me over the next three days, only intermittently. I won't be blogging or answering e-mail's or texts or phone calls. He is calling me to fast my words, fast my connections and come to Him.

Then, Thursday night, at 8:15PM at our Mo-Pac apartment, I welcome any of you in Austin to join me and my family to pray for me ---- about 30 minutes. Maybe some of you, like my dear friends Holly and Annette, will slip to your knees where you are some time during that half hour. I know my children will be praying at that moment whether in Thailand or Korea or California or DC---wherever they are. Let me throw in a congratulations to Barrett who came in 10th at a Half Ironman Triathlon in Korea yesterday winning a couple of thousand dollars.

Join us and pray with us, to the same God, Whose arm is not short for me--- even though some of you bloggers will be sitting miles and miles away. God will be listening on Thursday evening to you and your family---send a thought for me. And for any of you close by, just drop by at 8:15pm on Thursday. Call Bob 512.541.5772 for directions to our apartment. It will be the eve of my surgery and I'm asking you to pray. I would be so humbled by your presence before our God for me, whether in body or in spirit. God says in Isaiah 65:24: "Before you even call, I will answer." Please do! I'm still scared but surrendered! Still a mess, but a glorious one! Cannot thank you enough for your praying for me and walking alongside! I need community. I'll talk to you all after my Friday surgery. And maybe I might see some of you on Thursday night---that would be a joy!