Carried on a Mat by You

As I awaited my surgical pathology report, John 14:16 jumped out at me. Can't get it off my mind. Jesus already asked the Father to give me "another Helper." I have that Helper, that Advocate, that Counselor. Means the world to me where I am this moment. You see, when you go through cancer, you are your own advocate---there is not one doctor who is looking over my care. You manage your own care. My specialists don't really communicate with each other. So I have this gigantic pink file that I carry with me everywhere I go containing every pathology report, every scan, every doctor's report. Some want to see them; some don't.

My doctor visits on Wednesday were not encouraging to me but I am not looking for good news to be my encouragement---the God of all Hope is my encouragement. Phil 2:1. And sometimes things are not going to fall like the way I want it to fall. Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday didn't fall right to an onlooker's stare. But my God was right there in all of the news and He has just picked me up and carried me through this---just like I am on that "mat" being lowered down through the ceiling by some of you holding me tight. He is here! And He is a good God, no matter what!

So, here's the prognosis:
The hospital's surgical pathology report was wrong. They inaccurately measured the cancer in my lymph node as 3.4cm, an aggregate measure. You are supposed to measure individual focii. The surgeon corrected them and they did it again and it's wrong again according to the medical oncologist. Both of my doctors did not ask for a third opinion. So, I went to M.D. Anderson for a third opinion and am waiting for the surgical pathology reports as MDA has the cancerous tumor tissues and will get back with me.
My surgeon didn't get all of the cancer --- she missed it by .20mm --- that's microscopic. Couldn't even see it. She cannot do surgery for 3 more weeks. That means the PEM scan will be two months old and they will not do another one---the guide where to cut out microscopic cancer. We trust a God Unseen in all of this. Surgery is scheduled for June 9th.
The medical oncologist believes that since the cancer in my lymph nodes is under 2.0cm---it is 1.2cm, that she can wait for the oncotype DX test assay to come back June 3rd. If I score low----11 or under on a scale of 1 to 100, then there will be no chemo according to the med oncologist. The surgeon thinks that the cancer cells should measure less than .20cm or you need chemo. But the final say is with the med oncologist. So much is so unexact. And there WAS cancer in my lymph node and you can't minimize that, even if it was 1.2cm.

So, we are waiting for the June 3rd Oncotype DX assay to come back LOW. Please pray that God intervenes and it's a low score. He wants us to ask and leave the results in His lap.
And I'm waiting for June 9th for yet another surgery.
But more than all that, I am pursuing every avenue God opens up to deal with my present moments. Eph 6:12 says there are "powers over this present darkness" and my sweet Jesus has prayed for me for these moments in my life as I read John 17---Jesus Himself prayed for our protection from the Evil One. I am so alive in HIM and so stirred in my soul to find HIM. He must increase and I must decrease.

No way I can do any of this cancer journey on my own nor without your help, your prayers. And, the most encouraging thing to me is that I have Another Helper, Another Counselor. I have so much hope! And each of you gives me courage by your comments, your e-mails, your texts. I wish I could respond to each of you but I cannot. This week alone, I received 1,000 hits on my blog and I haven't even read anything on my Facebook yet but I know there's a lot. Again, God stirs up my faith and gives me courage from your comments. Thank you from the bottom of my hurting heart. I am being carried on a mat by you!