Monday, May 18, 2009

150cc of The Holy Spirit

I'm sitting on my front porch in the midst of my impatiens, begonias, kolanchoes, and tropical hibiscus eating Ezekiel bread dipped in kidney beans (hmmm). I'm alive and well. Surgery could not have gone any better.

Flashback to Thursday:
The IV drip stingingly soared in scary seconds through the veins in my hand and I thought of Psalm 16:8---"The Lord is at my right hand and I will not be shaken." I felt a rush of panic. Be still, o my soul. My pastor and husband were praying for me. And I wrestled with what it meant to "be still" Psalm 46:10 in the moment I had dreaded. Of course, it's way more than being physically still. It's quieting my soul to know that a good God is in charge of me. I refuse to doubt His goodness no matter what happens---and I'll continue wrestling with that one. A wave of peace hit me head to toe and I asked for the name of the meds they were pumping in the IV. Can it be put in a capsule? The nurse responded: "Nothing is being administered to you." The pastor responded: "You just got 150cc of the Holy Spirit." God did so many things for me during the surgery and recovery that I can't even relate it all. My Ever-Present Help in trouble Psalm 46:1, even in my trip to the emergency room in the wee hours of Sunday morning in severe pain---even when our earth gives way. Still experiencing some significant side effects, so please pray for that to resolve.

If I could tell you one verse that God did for me through my cancer surgery and recovery, it was 2Chron 20:30 - I will give you REST on every side---spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally. There were a couple of things that happened that unnerved me during surgery, but I really saw Jer. 17:7 that God was "My Confidence" when things didn't go just right. And all I have to say is that HE did Isa 63:9 - He lifted me up and He carried me through a tough surgery for me. And I so want to trust Him to do it again and again, as we await the results of the pathology reports which will determine the protocol of radiation and/or chemo.

So this is what I am waiting on:
1. Psalm 27: 13-14 - the Goodness of my near God.
2. Pathology Results on both cancerous tumor and invasive mass (should arrive anytime Tuesday or Wednesday). At that point, my medical oncologist, radiation oncologist and breast surgeon will together decide their "next step" and present it to me. You make your own decisions---that so surprised me.
3. Oncotype DX Breast Cancer Assay - Results will come in 10 days or so...it's a lab test that analyzes the expression level of 21 genes in both tumors they removed. I believe it is the only gene expression test in the country that predicts a patient’s likelihood to benefit from chemo as well as predict a recurrence rate. So now, I'm learning about genomics: how my own network of genes has influenced the tumor's biology and behavior. The human genome.
4. BRCA1 and BRCA2 Genetic Testing results: Should take six weeks. Genetic testing that looks for mutations in my chromosomes and is a predictor of the benefits of chemo therapy.
5. Back to #1---Still waiting on God.

Not waiting on any test results. Not waiting on any man. We all are waiting on our beautiful God to show up in our next moments. And you know what----He's here. Always knocking on the door of our hearts waiting for us to say, Come on in, My Beautiful Friend, my God. He's just waiting to hear us say that! I hope I don't miss the knock on my door today!

I cannot thank you enough for your prayers and thoughts and words to our family. You have been like His Voice to me. My children's teachers. Bloggers I've never met. High school kids who really love. Faithful friends from days long gone by. Loyal friends who are carrying me through this. We don't even know how to navigate your streets, dear Austin, TEXAS, but your people have embraced us like we've walked this worn path together forever. And I believe it's cause of the One who walks in your midst. Deut 23:14.

8 comments:

Mary Lou 5/18/2009  

Bev, thrilled to see your post and to read your beautiful testimony. Oh, how you have glorified God thru this part of this trial. What a blessing to me and to others and to Him, most of all. You are so right, we are all waiting on Him, not test results, not for the economy to turn around etc. just for Him. He truly is ALL we need we just don't realize it. May your day be filled with the wonder of Him and the Sonshine of His love and presence. I truly saw Him when I read this post. Blessings..love and hugs...Mary Lou

Nise' 5/18/2009  

Praising and thanking Him for being there for you as He has promised and trusting Him to continue to be there in the upcoming days/weeks as you wait the test results.

Holly 5/18/2009  

Love you friend! Looking to God--embracing His best for you.

Wish I was on your front porch, too enjoying your flowers and you!! I could show you how to navigate Austin, too.

Have you ever eaten at Hickory Street Bar and Grill? You must try their bread...and think of me. I think it's on Colorado and 15th downtown (that's running off of 19 years ago, so I may be off a street or two).

Sending a hug across the miles!
Love,
Holly

Bobbie 5/18/2009  

It's so good to hear from you! Your faith is shining for all of us and I'm loving reading all your references to God's Word, how he speaks to you in your everyday life. You continue to amaze me with your faithfilled heart.

Continuing to pray!
In His Love, Bobbie

Sallye 5/18/2009  

Bev,

I am praising God that you were held in that peace that surpasses all understanding before, during, and after your surgery.

Still praying.

Sallye

Dee 5/19/2009  

Praise the Lord for His goodness and His amazing faithfulness. You have blessed my heart with your testimony. I will continue praying for you. It sounds like the front porch therapy is just what the doctor ordered.

Love you,
Deidra

vcowan 5/19/2009  

Dear Bev,

You are continually in my prayers. I am coming to Austin in June and I want to be able to see and visit with you.

Love,
Vicki Cowan

annie's eyes 5/19/2009  

When Cathy and I were on the patio yesterday having our moment with God, we read of Jesus' statements in John as the Great I Am. We talked of one aspect of that is He is ever-present, and just as you said, we are "Not waiting on any man. We all are waiting on our beautiful God to show up in our next moments. And you know what----He's here." It is such a sweet place to be when we get to the end of ourselves and realize there He is waiting. Be blessed, dear friend, with His abiding and peace-filled presence in each moment. I continue to pray for your healing. Love you, Annette

Praying for Our Friend Joanne Psalm 131:3 Waiting on God. Hope Now. Hope Always.

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I've met some amazing women through blogging. I would love to hear from you. My personal e-mail is:
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I have another blog where I blog daily as a small group of us read through the New Testament this year. It's called A String of Pearls. We carry each other on mats (when we just can't walk anymore) to Jesus and sweet things like that.

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