Thursday, March 6, 2008

Walking On His Arm in the Snow

We were eating crawfish at Papadeaux's in Dallas when Britt called to say that school and his track meet were cancelled. What!!!??? It's noon in March! So unlikely. Wasn't it 80 degrees just yesterday? We assured him that we'd be right there. But the traffic-filled Dallas roads told us otherwise. So we called Britt back about the impasse to which he responds, "Can I go PLAY at Greg's?" Britt is 16. OF COURSE YOU CAN! I heard the snowballs started streaking through the school parking lot before the sophomores made it to their cars.

Later in the afternoon I was home alone and glanced out the picture window behind the chair where I sat.
leaped up,
lunged for the IPOD,
layered upon layers of layers,
leashed the dog and
tore out the door into the swirling snow.
Macy, our border collie, took me for a mile walk.
Going out was beyond words as Chris Tomlin stirred my soul. But the mile coming back was against the wind. Never knew that snow stings on the face. So worth every step of the way and my walk ended in frozen tears listening and lingering on a Linkin Park song in my frozen ears, "What I've Done." I had hoped to just slip out on His Arm for a snow stroll and listen. You see, God had been moving in my heart earlier in the afternoon, about whether my actions of late had been out of a motive of love or out of wanting people to change so badly. Was I being like Peter with a hard heart? And my God was saying, "Do you love Me? Do you love Me? Do you love Me?" So moved this wintry day by my self-obsession. Am I self-obsessed or God-obsessed. So grateful I can slip back on His Arm and say, "I'm so sorry, my beautiful God, for I have been more concerned about changing the ways my world treats me than about loving them with Your Love."
Psalm 44:3 His Arm brings victory, not my arm doing things to make peace, not my arm saying things to jerk people and make people see what they are doing wrong. And on His Arm I want to waltz into this March morning and try again to live a life of love. Impossible. I'll fail again. I was never made to love from my own strength. Love found me. Love lives in me and that's what changes my world. In the midst of questioning my God with those frozen tears, I found His Arm again and saw the Light of His Face in the snow for we are so loved. So loved. Maybe that sounds so mystical. But it is so real to me.

Yesterday was such a beautifully hard day. A victory. I couldn't be any more grateful to God to allow me to push through it and find some freedom! I have a long way to go. I've come a long way. I so want to live in the present moment and deal with what is really going on in my heart, this moment. No more hiding in my heart. And I know it may come up again this very day and I'll trust Him with it. I pray that you slip onto His Arm this Friday morning and let Him lead you. His Arm brings victory and the Light of His Face. For He loves you so! Psalm 44:3.


Nise' 3/07/2008  

Praising Him for your victory yesterday and so honored to be "working the thing out" with you even tho we are miles apart! Thank you for the reminder that He Loves Us So! I needed to hear that this morning.

BethAnne 3/07/2008  

What a sweet story, Bev. Like you, I want to live in this moment and deal with the things I need to right now instead of letting things fester.
And snow? That is just fun!

Shonda 3/07/2008  

Snow! Wow! The Lord purifies our heart and cleans us white as snow through the blood of Jesus! He loves us. He loves you. I see that you have a beautiful heart that desires to please Him.

Thanks for this Word, for I need to let Him bring the victory and I need to stay on my knees.

Love & blessings in Christ--

Mary Lou 3/07/2008  

Bev, so glad He met you on your walk. He has met me several times in the past week and I've been so humbled by it, can't put it into words. Wondered how much snow you had, we are supposed to receive some of it today and tonight. Praying for you as I go and thankful to God who meets all of us wherever we are in our walk thru this life. Blessings on your week end.

Anonymous 3/07/2008  

Hi Bev! this is Fran's friend,Teresa, from West TN..what a beautiful post! the snow has just begun to fall on us (Fri. afternoon) of which I have prayed for! For some reason I have lately longed to see our land covered in clean, white snow...And now I am looking forward to a walk on His arm tomorrow...Oh sweet Lord! will You open Your storehouse of snow? Thank you for sharing, I so enjoy your blog.

Renae 3/07/2008  

Thanks for sharing your walk with us, Bev! I recently had a moment - on my 40th birthday! - when I was just overwhelmed with His love, and the thought that He has been with me from the very first cells forming in my mother's womb. He was there. Before I have memory - He was there. When I had no awareness of His presence - He was there. And, in a moment of tear-drenched love, I said, "Lord, thank You for loving me so much! I don't deserve that love, and I don't understand that love, but thank You!" And do you know what He said to me?

He said, "Renae, I'm letting you feel my love today in such an overwhelming way, because I love everyone else this much, too. But most of them don't know it. I need you to go and tell them how much I love them."

Isn't that amazing?

Anyway, thank you for your story. Blessings to you, dear sister.

(a fellow pastor's wife)

annie's eyes 3/07/2008  

What a beautiful treat to have a blanket of white on the ground. A walk in Him to clear the mind...a gift of cleansing snow, and a journey that is always a journey into His Loving Arms again. Beautiful post from a beautiful heart. Love you, Annette

connorcolesmom 3/07/2008  

How fun!!
My boys would love to play in the snow again :)
I also love when we have such beautiful "encounter" with God. Today on my eliptical trainer I was having such a praise moment that I realized I literally felt the prescence of God - THAT IS SO AWESOME!!
I love those moments!
Have a great weekend my sweet Bev!

Denise 3/07/2008  

OUCH!!! How that pierced my heart... I have a situation going on in my life that is soooooo hard to deal with and being the person that I am I internalize it and take it to heart... I get my feelings hurt and I never strike back but I always withdraw my "love" I go about my day and I fulfill my obligation and I move about as I should but I am cold and distant and robotic.....

My motive is to let them see that they are wrong in their actions and maybe they will change.... Oh my gosh.....

I came by tonight and read your blog and just like that the Holy Sprit point out your statement..............

I'm so sorry, my beautiful God, for I have been more concerned about changing the ways my world treats me than about loving them with Your Love."

and I just crumbled inside to see the selfish motive that lies within me... Not reaching out with the love of the Father instead of shutting off what little love that I posses..... You are so right,,, we love with His strength and not our strength.... how silly am I and how very very sorry that I have withheld the very love that will touch and change my world... not always for the better for me... but the better for those around me.... I am blessed to have come here tonight.... I will repent... and I will cry....

love ya!

Michelle Bentham 3/08/2008  

Oh Bev, dear one. Your heart is so tender to Him, your love so apparent. You are a child of grace my friend. God sees your heart, and based on what you confessed that may not see so comforting, but sweet one, God says He knows the desires of your heart to be completely His and He loves you so. Romans 7:22-8:2 is resounding in my heart and my head right now as I read your post. I pray it blesses you along with Psalm 73:26 - They were verses God gave me for a friend who was struggling with areas of her life where she found herself disobedient. He wanted her to refocus. She was focused on the disobedience and He wanted her to know He was focused on the areas of growth and potential growth.

You are so following His lead, changing what you know to change and repenting when He shows you something new. You are a blessing and a joy my friend, a blessing and a joy.

Love You!

Laura 3/08/2008  

Hi, Bev!
It's been snowing here all day today, and the crisp clean blanket of white makes me think of you and your walk. God is so good. He meets us wherever we seek Him, doesn't He? It's just like Him to use that blanket of white to cover up the concerns of this life and help us to see more clearly. Beautiful!

Fran 3/08/2008  

"No more hiding in my heart."

That spoke volumes to me as I too don't want to hide in my heart any more!

Love you dearly Bev. You are on my heart every single day.

I pray for His mighty hand to continue to guide you, lead you, heal you, and mold you. I can see Him at work. Its such a beautiful thing.

Big hugs~

Praying for Our Friend Joanne Psalm 131:3 Waiting on God. Hope Now. Hope Always.

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I have another blog where I blog daily as a small group of us read through the New Testament this year. It's called A String of Pearls. We carry each other on mats (when we just can't walk anymore) to Jesus and sweet things like that.


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