I haven't been able to get up yet. Having a little bit of complications. But I am encouraged. I have such hope, such courage rising up in me that if I do face the fainting spells again, HE will be right there, never absent, maybe silent, always present. This a.m. I read in my quiet time Joshua 21:44 and believe it with all my heart. God is giving me rest on every side; my enemies are being defeated. Not one of all the LORD's good promises to me will fail. Every one will be fulfilled.
II Cor. 5:1 says that our bodies are tents which are pretty fragile---"if the earthly tent is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven not built by human hands." No matter what happens to me, I have an eternal house. You can tell I've been thinking about my body not working. I am on the mend. I am believing God for health and life and forgiveness and mercy. The birds are singing outside my window. It's a good day, and there is singing in my heart, in my bed. I will be up soon. So grateful for your prayers! Much Love, Bev
TMI...This is probably too much info to put up in a blog but, hey, I'm desperate over here. It's 6pm and it's the first that I can get to the computer today. Last night was just terrifying for me. I had five fainting spells during the night. I can't even describe to you the horrible feeling that overcomes me when I have these unusual spells. I am startled and awakened and have repetitive fainting. It is so difficult to endure. Everything in me is trying to not faint. Doctors can't seem to find why that happens to me. It's rather infrequent, but to be real honest, it's just devastating to me. (It happened last week when I broke my toe.) Seems like my body is having a hard time processing the fluid loss of 15 pounds. I am still swollen and dehydrated, no matter what I pour into my body. I am just sobbing as I write this. I sound so pitiful, but my body is now not cooperating with the loss of so much fluid so quickly. Please continue to pray for my recovery from the kidney failure. I don't want to make a bigger deal out of this than it is, I'm just not doing well at all today on the recovery road.
Your comments mean a lot to me. It's in these very quiet pensive moments that you think real hard about life and how you are really doing. I fell all over my husband last night asking him to forgive me for everything I've ever done. He kindly chuckled back his love to me. I wonder what I'll do when I meet my Jesus face to face, if I will blubber all over HIM, saying I am so sorry for EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER DONE not thniking of YOU and how I missed things. Now, I lead a pretty good life over here. But, I also think of C. S. Lewis's quote that no man knows how bad he is until he has tried so very hard to be good. And you have Paul, telling us at the very END of his life, "I am the chiefest of all sinners."
Thank you for letting me blubber all over you with my ailment. Pray specifically that my kidneys would process correctly and for restful sleep, not dread. Hope I can visit your blog soon! I'm still too weak to get on the computer. Can't tell you how much I appreciate your prayers and support!
Friday, March 28, 2008