Thursday, July 16, 2009

Be Still...what do I need to "let go" of?

Bob was released from ICU tonight and is home resting well. After undergoing two days of tests in the critical care unit, all of his heart structures are in very good shape. While they are not sure what caused him to faint at the wheel, the diagnosis remains bradycardia---slow heart rate. Not that uncommon for athletes to have a really low heart rate. We are so grateful to God for His evident Hand on Bob during the accident.

Bob will wear a heart monitor throughout this weekend. He has recovered well from the surgical procedure he had this afternoon, an electrophysiological study. They couldn't sedate him cause he had just eaten so he thinks he was privileged to watch the Electrophysiologist do the cauterization procedure up us legs into his heart---ask him about it. Oh my. Not me!

And I just have to add that it looked completely impossible for me to do two radiation treatments today to stay on course. Some complications with my skin had come up. My oncologist is closed tomorrow. But I was so overwhelmed with the goodness of God this afternoon. God physically strengthened my weary body as I walked into the radiation oncologist's office again at 3pm to submit to the machine. A verse that meant much to me these 2 days was Exodus 14:14 that God will fight our battles, we just need to keep still. And the word "still" in the Hebrew meant to surrender, to let go---and know that He is God in the midst of our circumstances. Be still and know that I am God - Psalm 46:10.

Psalm147:10-11 God's delight is not in the legs of a man but the LORD delights in those who fear Him, who put their hope in His Unfailing Love, no matter what He sends our way. It has been an emotional two days for me and I have been spent in doing radiation and watching my husband in ICU. You know, our suffering is not a curse, but more like a mission to "let go" and honor a God Who has allowed things providentially and always for our good. We have to wrestle with Him until He changes our name. None of us want to suffer. Jesus asked for the cup to pass from Him. But, He also embraced his suffering and walked in it where His Heart brought Him to empty Himself. God is emptying us from things we've held onto that we need to "let go." Detaching us from dependence on anything that brings us Joy but HIM, even our health.

It's 8:30pm and we are on our way to bed. Good night sweet friends. HE has our attention. HE has our hearts. We don't have a definitive answer what went wrong. But we are seeing with eyes wide open precious ways to value learning to love more than resolution of our pain. Our problems are a pathway to our beautiful God. The back of the door of the wardrobe in Narnia opens and offers a journey to come alive in ways we know not.

God leads us into desert places and speaks tenderly there if we listen. Hosea 2:14. HE makes the valley of suffering, a Door of Hope. And it is our privilege to walk alongside of you and embrace those open doors of suffering and joy--- blindly & boldly and with fear & faith. Do I want to learn better to love my husband and my children and my world more than I want the pain to go away? Wondering what it looks like in our lives to open our hearts wider to love.

Our Sincere Gratitude for your Prayers and Love! Overwhelmed in Austin with His Kindness!


Mary Lou 7/16/2009  

How you bless my heart.I feel as though I have touched the hem of His garment because of what you have written. So, glad that Bob is at home. God is truly sustaining you both. Thank you for posting so that we could know how he was. Are you receiving two treatments a day? I guess I missed something in my reading. Praying. Hugs and love, Mary Lou

Holly 7/16/2009  

"Wondering what it looks like in our lives to open our hearts wider to love." Me, too, Bev. Me, too.

My but you display His glory and splendor. Hold on to Him--He is your value-speaker, the One who said you are invaluable to Him... priceless gems are you and your Bob.

Toknowhim 7/16/2009  

I have been blessed by your blog and your writings almost more than anyone else over the time I have had my blog... I feel so blessed to know you (as much as we can in the blogworld :)

Be blessed sweet friend...

kyna 7/16/2009  

Isn't God good! I am so glad Coach is doing well. And I will continue to keep you both in my prayers. You are such a blessing, your transparancy and honesty of your relationship with God is so wonderful and encouraging.

Fran 7/16/2009  

My goodness gracious Bev! I'm on vacation but signed on to see what was going on and now this with Bob?! Praying as I head to bed. Love you so very much. Asking God to be so very near.


Alana 7/16/2009  

Girl. What in the world? So thankful Bob is okay, but how much more can you sweet people take? Love and prayers, my friend!

annie's eyes 7/17/2009  

I still am taking in "ways to love more instead of resolution of our pain." That may be the very picture of Christ to me. He is making you more like Him each moment. The valley of the shadow of death is where you walk, but the shadow transforms to be God's protective care. This may be the book you are to write. Just as Rose from Brier embraced suffering, your writings speak so much to those who are still in the middle trying to reconcile pain. Keep writing as much as you can. It will be so valuable to you one day as you look back and know how far He has carried you, how faithful His love. May we all love better. You remain in my prayers several times each day. Love you, Annette

Bobbie 7/17/2009  

It's so good to know that Bob is home with you now! Praying for answers for you both, knowing that you're faith is so strong and your love is so evident. You're a gift from our awesome God!!

I love the way you express your feelings with us, it sure helps in my everyday thinking about situations in my life.

Have a calm and peaceful weekend! Didn't you mention that Brooke is coming home soon? I hope she's here or coming very soon, to have her close will be a blessing for you and Bob both.

Blessings, Bobbie

Rhonda 7/17/2009  

So good. Thank you

Anna Ross 7/17/2009  

I have been listening a lot to a worship song with this chorus: "Your love is strong." I pray that over you and your family.

Anonymous 7/17/2009  

The goodness of God is known in its rawest form as sweet surrender.

The offering you pour out on these pages is sweet incense before the throne of Heaven. And it motivates, draws, compels, urges me deeper into His presence. Thank you for your transparency as you let go and are made still.
In Awe of HIM,


Thank you Bev for being so transparent with us I have been encourage by your blog just to know all you go thru and to know even though you are going thru alot you have encourage by hanging onto God at every turn you have blessed me in a mighty way my dear sister. Glad that Bob is at home you all get some rest this weekend.
I may never get to meet you this side of heaven but I am sending love and hugs and prayers your way.
Love Carol Your Seista in Albuquerque NM

Shonda 7/21/2009  

I'm praying for you and Bob. You've been on my heart so much and I love you dear friend.

twinkle 7/21/2009  

I highly recommend reading some praise psalms outloud dear Bev. I've spent the evening in Psalm 139, 140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 145, and 146. Powerful. Sometimes we just have to lead with praise for the LORD. Sing to Him and praise Him as you and your family walk by faith and not by sight.

"Let my prayer be set forth before thee as incense; and the lifting up of my hands, as the evening sacrifice." Psalm 141:2.

How precious to picture a faithful, suffering child of God offering Him a prayer like incense and lifted up hands as an evening sacrifice. His eyes are on you, Bev. He loves you and blesses you with His healing wings.

Praying for Our Friend Joanne Psalm 131:3 Waiting on God. Hope Now. Hope Always.

House of Blessing Tribal Childrens Home

House of Blessing Tribal Childrens Home
"Whoever welcomes a little child in My Name, welcomes Me." Matthew 18:5 We have posted pictures of the orphans receiving their gifts from you. Scroll down to the post entitled "Today Was the Big Day." Many orphans didn't own anything of their own, but now do, because of you.

My Family

My Family
Britt, Blair, Bev, Bob, Brooke, Barrett


I've met some amazing women through blogging. I would love to hear from you. My personal e-mail is:
I have another blog where I blog daily as a small group of us read through the New Testament this year. It's called A String of Pearls. We carry each other on mats (when we just can't walk anymore) to Jesus and sweet things like that.


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