Sunday, April 26, 2009

A Raging River

Simply overwhelmed in Austin, Texas with beautiful texts, e-mails, and cards. My beautiful God is carrying me through the comfort you offer me----and it's cause you've been comforted by HIM. 2 Cor 1:4. It means so much. I wish I could respond individually but with working fulltime and multiple doctor visits, it's not possible. But know this, I read every word and thank God for each of you and all your kindnesses.

Lake Country sent the most beautiful arrangement of flowers and I wept. Kristen W's comments touch such deep places in my heart. Sue S. sent the most gripping letter! When I arrived home tonight from being out of town there was the most creative edible adorable fruit arrangement from my precious friend Deborah & Ken in FW. There's a blogger who has mailed me the sweetest cutest cards ever and I don't even know her. Annette dropped by from Houston to bring the best quiche and a casserole of courage that made me literally fall to the ground and sob. Shauna sent a mug of memories of how God healed us together. Janie and Staci came and cleaned my apartment while I was being radiated. A friend called tonight to help us try to get our car fixed. Cindy F. took me to her house with a dinner waiting for me. I'm being swept away...and it's your words that are sweeping me off my feet as I am so madly in love with the ONE Whom we all adore and live for. I deeply appreciate if you comment here----it really means a lot to me! Even if it's just a word or two. We are so new to Austin. In Fort Worth, we would know what doctors to go to and it would be a safe haven. But, I have to say, we know with all our heart God has called us to Southwest Hills Community Church and it's the best place we could be and one of the best things that has happened to us. Our church has so embraced us and we couldn't be more grateful for that!

I really am desperate for your prayers this Sunday evening:
1) Phil 4:11 - Contentment. "I've learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am in." I want to praise my beautiful God whether in plenty or in want. Whether it's good news or bad. Whether it's working for me or not.
2) Joshua 4:10 - Fear God. The Hand of our God is powerful and I must fear HIM and not fear for my health, fear for my life. Oh my soul---HURRY to remember all what my God has done for me!

It happened again on Friday night at 1:45a.m. I fainted in my sleep and then went into a panic attack or seizure. It happens like this....I am awakened and immediately feel a sinking terrifying feeling like my blood pressure has dropped considerably. It is horrifying and I faint right there in the bed. If I try to get up, I faint again. But I pray and my body settles down and I fall back asleep. It's actually the most horrible feeling I have ever experienced. It has happened to me 4 times since I have been diagnosed with cancer---only in the middle of the night. Please pray for me as I am seeing several doctors for the episodes and I believe it has to do with low blood pressure and stress. It's never happened in the daytime. Nine doctors so far haven't been able to help so I'm looking for a neurologist and a heart doctor.

The fainting episode happened Friday night while I was on a retreat with Austin Christian Fellowship. 18 women in my cabin offered me their love and compassion. Kind of hard fainting on your new friends. My new BFF Brooke graciously scooped me up to attend the most amazing weekend retreat. Let me end this post with telling you one special moment for me that happened there. On the way down there, God said to me: "I am the River." We had just passed LBJ lake and I didn't think too much about it again until Kay Morrison told about a dream that one of her staffers had that went something like this: He fell into a raging river---tumultuous torrents swept him helplessly downstream til he found a ladder much like a pool ladder that he viciously grabbed for dear life and climbed to safety---a dry land. He asked the LORD the next morning what HE was saying to Him. God said: I am the River. Kay asked us to take a walk with the LORD for 20 minutes and listen to what HE had to say. I walked down one of the Camp Buckner trails to a dried up creekbed and stood on the rocks where the water used to rush. I thought: it feels pretty safe on a dry river but it's not safe in the raging river I've been thrown in. And my beautiful God said to me: "I am your River." And HE will hold my hand and never let go in the river that rages around me. Fainting episodes. Bad news. Whatever life holds. He is a good God in that raging river. And NO ONE can snatch me out of His Hand---John 10:28--- whether the River rages or rises or recedes. If God is for us, who is against us? Rom 8:31. Height nor depth---nothing can separate us from His Love. Rom. 8:39.

I work fulltime this week but on Wednesday I have three doctor appointments. If any of you Austinites can take me to a 10:00am and/or 1:00pm and/or 3pm appointment, TEXT me and let me know. I'm without a car right now. You would need to pick me up, wait in the office, and drive me back home. We have been down to one car. On the day that I was diagnosed with cancer, our car broke down (so we have one car for 3 drivers) and I was also let go from my editorial part-time job due to the economy. I don't want to let my circumstances determine my enjoyment of my God and the life He gives each day. One thing that is changing for me is that I am living one day at a time, even one moment at a time.

So grateful to each of you for your prayers----you just have no idea!!! And to my husband and children---their prayers and support will carry me through this. I announced the big announcement on FACEBOOK that Barrett proposed to the love of his life, his sweet Lauren. And we are so excited to have a future daughter-in-law that is truly one of the sweetest girls you can ever know. I just hope I have hair for the wedding!

A Raging River. I am the River. I hold your Right Hand and you will not be shaken. He's a good God, but He's not safe---remember that quote from C. S. Lewis??

My love to each of you.

21 comments:

Sheryl 4/27/2009  

Oh my sweet sister. I am praying for you. I wish I could help you by taking you to your appointments but I'm way over here in Georgia. So I will do what I can...pray.

Sheryl

beckyjomama 4/27/2009  

I have never wished that I was in Texas more than I do right this moment. I would love to drive you to each and every appointment and pray over you and for you and WITH you as you face all of this. I hope you know that I am AT LEAST praying for you - I am loving you right into the arms of our Beautiful God and know that, though I cannot, HE will be with you every step of the way!

You are so very loved, my Sweet Bev.
XOXOXOXOXOXOX
Becky Jo

Mary Lou 4/27/2009  

Bev, you have been on my mind so much. I have prayed for you. Will pray as you ask. Will pray that someone will be able to take you to all of the appointments on Wed. Would do it myself IF I lived in Austin. He has already prepared the heart of someone to take you, of that I am sure. We sing a song in church that talks about Him being a river. Right now can't remember it but I do know there is a song out there that talks about him being a river. He is whatever we need..what a great God who loves us...you. Praying...hugs...Mary Lou

Toknowhim 4/27/2009  

Wow, my eyes teared up when I read the part about God and the river... Awesome...

The body of Christ that has surrounded you is just beautiful..

Love you Bev, and I will continue to pray for you...

Kim

Dee 4/27/2009  

You are so often on my mind and I make mention of you often in my prayers. I will continue to pray. It is my privilege.
Love to you, Sister,
Deidra

Yolanda 4/27/2009  

I continue to pray for you every single day. I look here every day for an update. I love how He revealed Himself to you this weekend....ONLY GOD!

Love,
Yolanda

annie's eyes 4/27/2009  

God is a white-capped, roaring River, not a stagnant pond. Life with all its frenzy can consume us, but that beautiful River sustains us and fills us up--no dry dead bones when we abide in the Precious Waters of Christ. He has your hand. Love you, Annette

Transparent Mama 4/27/2009  

The Bible says in Isaiah 66:12 that God offers us "peace like a river." As you said, rivers sometimes rage and are tumultuous, but you hang on like crazy to your God and you can have peace in the midst of it.

Anonymous 4/27/2009  

Bev,
Two songs that keep running through my head...First is "I Will Rejoice" by Rita Springer--first line--There is a River!!!!
Second is the old song (Gaither version is on You Tube)"There is a River".
I am praying these over you!! I have emailed you the lyrics...

Sending love from LCCS and Fort Worth,
Kristen

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend 4/27/2009  

Each day my thoughts and prayers are whispered for you....I pray that this week brings many God winks and that you feel so loved...

Kristin 4/27/2009  

Continuing to pray!

Love, Kristin

Angbaylis 4/27/2009  

I'm Praising God for all of the people who are stepping up to be His hands and feet! I wish I had something more profound to tell you tonight, but for now let me just remind you that you are on my heart and in my prayers more than you will ever know!
Much love, to the woman I was honored to meet with the beautiful smile! I can see it now! I'll never forget worshiping next to you at the Siesta Fiesta!
Love you, Bev!
Angie xoxo

Anonymous 4/27/2009  

hi Mrs. Brandon!
i just wanted to let you know that im praying for you!

nicole dorank

Tigger 4/28/2009  

Oh Bev, even if there's nothing on your head but a beautiful hat, the bride will have a hard time outshining you and your spirit.

Susan

twinkle 4/28/2009  

Ezekiel 47.

The waters rise up. But they are holy waters and bear much fruit. And an inheritance!

Love you, precious jewel. Wish I could take you for your appointments.

Father, we simply trust You. Provide all of Bev's needs and give her her heart's desire. Help her to see past the obvious to behold the glorious. In Jesus Name. Amen.

Sharon Brumfield 4/28/2009  

Girl I so wish I was there to help. Not working outside the home and having someone in school would give me plenty of time.
I wish I knew more about the details of the car....how much to get it fixed? Is it in the shop.
Email me if you have time or can.
I am praying and I am not sure what else I can do from this far away.
We want to do what God wants.
Love a girl

Andrea 4/28/2009  

Dear Sister-in-Christ,

I have never visited your blog before this night.

I want to offer simple encouraging words to you. Oh, how the Lord loves you! He will sustain you and give you peace. You are, indeed, precious in His eyes.

When we're in the darkest night, we have no vision of understanding. But God has blessed you with such a joyful, hopeful, faithful spirit, and He will continue to hold you up.

You are a living testimony of God's grace and love. Just reading your words this evening encouraged me, for it is evident that you are a woman of faith and prayer.

I will join with others in praying for you.

In His Love,

Andrea

marina 4/29/2009  

sweet Bev you are in my prayers God is with you he will carry you all the way. love marina

lisasmith 4/29/2009  

Praying that He keeps you safe and commands His angels concerning you as you ENJOY The River. Could it be that when the river rages, he's actually fighting for our very lives? love, lisa

HIS Child 4/29/2009  

God bless you sister as HIS daughters become the hands and feet of Jesus to serve you. Thank you for sharing your amazing insight as you walk this journey.
It is a beautiful thing to see His people in action and it speaks clearly to all of us to that our theology must be our reality if we desire to draw near.
Bev, as he ministers to all of your needs I pray that your strength, passion, and love for Him grows to abundant portions. That the knowing of Him will sustain you and the protective right hand will be physically felt by you. My prayers for your life as you walk the rivers path will be that you will thrive sweet sister.
May you fell the tight hug from California.
Much love,
Celeste

Sylvia Vicain 4/29/2009  

You bless me so richly!!! I am sad for all the trauma God is taking you through and yet the ability God has blessed you with in being able to describe to others what He is doing in your life is nothing short of a miracle.

Annette is a dear friend and in reading her blog I discovered you.
I pray God's continued grace, peace and mercy as you travel this journey. I too wish I lived in Austin vs Houston to be able to take you to some of your doctor appointments.

I am new at learning more of what technology can do. You are an amazing communicator. Thank you for continuing to share your testimony with the blog community.

Because of Grace,
Sylvia
Jersey Village, TX

Praying for Our Friend Joanne Psalm 131:3 Waiting on God. Hope Now. Hope Always.

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I've met some amazing women through blogging. I would love to hear from you. My personal e-mail is:
sixbrandons@gmail.com
I have another blog where I blog daily as a small group of us read through the New Testament this year. It's called A String of Pearls. We carry each other on mats (when we just can't walk anymore) to Jesus and sweet things like that.

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