A Raging River

Simply overwhelmed in Austin, Texas with beautiful texts, e-mails, and cards. My beautiful God is carrying me through the comfort you offer me----and it's cause you've been comforted by HIM. 2 Cor 1:4. It means so much. I wish I could respond individually but with working fulltime and multiple doctor visits, it's not possible. But know this, I read every word and thank God for each of you and all your kindnesses.

Lake Country sent the most beautiful arrangement of flowers and I wept. Kristen W's comments touch such deep places in my heart. Sue S. sent the most gripping letter! When I arrived home tonight from being out of town there was the most creative edible adorable fruit arrangement from my precious friend Deborah & Ken in FW. There's a blogger who has mailed me the sweetest cutest cards ever and I don't even know her. Annette dropped by from Houston to bring the best quiche and a casserole of courage that made me literally fall to the ground and sob. Shauna sent a mug of memories of how God healed us together. Janie and Staci came and cleaned my apartment while I was being radiated. A friend called tonight to help us try to get our car fixed. Cindy F. took me to her house with a dinner waiting for me. I'm being swept away...and it's your words that are sweeping me off my feet as I am so madly in love with the ONE Whom we all adore and live for. I deeply appreciate if you comment here----it really means a lot to me! Even if it's just a word or two. We are so new to Austin. In Fort Worth, we would know what doctors to go to and it would be a safe haven. But, I have to say, we know with all our heart God has called us to Southwest Hills Community Church and it's the best place we could be and one of the best things that has happened to us. Our church has so embraced us and we couldn't be more grateful for that!

I really am desperate for your prayers this Sunday evening:
1) Phil 4:11 - Contentment. "I've learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am in." I want to praise my beautiful God whether in plenty or in want. Whether it's good news or bad. Whether it's working for me or not.
2) Joshua 4:10 - Fear God. The Hand of our God is powerful and I must fear HIM and not fear for my health, fear for my life. Oh my soul---HURRY to remember all what my God has done for me!

It happened again on Friday night at 1:45a.m. I fainted in my sleep and then went into a panic attack or seizure. It happens like this....I am awakened and immediately feel a sinking terrifying feeling like my blood pressure has dropped considerably. It is horrifying and I faint right there in the bed. If I try to get up, I faint again. But I pray and my body settles down and I fall back asleep. It's actually the most horrible feeling I have ever experienced. It has happened to me 4 times since I have been diagnosed with cancer---only in the middle of the night. Please pray for me as I am seeing several doctors for the episodes and I believe it has to do with low blood pressure and stress. It's never happened in the daytime. Nine doctors so far haven't been able to help so I'm looking for a neurologist and a heart doctor.

The fainting episode happened Friday night while I was on a retreat with Austin Christian Fellowship. 18 women in my cabin offered me their love and compassion. Kind of hard fainting on your new friends. My new BFF Brooke graciously scooped me up to attend the most amazing weekend retreat. Let me end this post with telling you one special moment for me that happened there. On the way down there, God said to me: "I am the River." We had just passed LBJ lake and I didn't think too much about it again until Kay Morrison told about a dream that one of her staffers had that went something like this: He fell into a raging river---tumultuous torrents swept him helplessly downstream til he found a ladder much like a pool ladder that he viciously grabbed for dear life and climbed to safety---a dry land. He asked the LORD the next morning what HE was saying to Him. God said: I am the River. Kay asked us to take a walk with the LORD for 20 minutes and listen to what HE had to say. I walked down one of the Camp Buckner trails to a dried up creekbed and stood on the rocks where the water used to rush. I thought: it feels pretty safe on a dry river but it's not safe in the raging river I've been thrown in. And my beautiful God said to me: "I am your River." And HE will hold my hand and never let go in the river that rages around me. Fainting episodes. Bad news. Whatever life holds. He is a good God in that raging river. And NO ONE can snatch me out of His Hand---John 10:28--- whether the River rages or rises or recedes. If God is for us, who is against us? Rom 8:31. Height nor depth---nothing can separate us from His Love. Rom. 8:39.

I work fulltime this week but on Wednesday I have three doctor appointments. If any of you Austinites can take me to a 10:00am and/or 1:00pm and/or 3pm appointment, TEXT me and let me know. I'm without a car right now. You would need to pick me up, wait in the office, and drive me back home. We have been down to one car. On the day that I was diagnosed with cancer, our car broke down (so we have one car for 3 drivers) and I was also let go from my editorial part-time job due to the economy. I don't want to let my circumstances determine my enjoyment of my God and the life He gives each day. One thing that is changing for me is that I am living one day at a time, even one moment at a time.

So grateful to each of you for your prayers----you just have no idea!!! And to my husband and children---their prayers and support will carry me through this. I announced the big announcement on FACEBOOK that Barrett proposed to the love of his life, his sweet Lauren. And we are so excited to have a future daughter-in-law that is truly one of the sweetest girls you can ever know. I just hope I have hair for the wedding!

A Raging River. I am the River. I hold your Right Hand and you will not be shaken. He's a good God, but He's not safe---remember that quote from C. S. Lewis??

My love to each of you.