It's FED EX and I'm Flabbergasted

I had another title up today, but I had to change it cause I feel so inadequate at times looking for words and ways to say my story. I can't explain my beautiful God and what He does for me. I mean, sometimes I can't even find words to craft what I feel in my heart over something so stunning He has done. And I so want to honor HIM not raise questions. Words can be perceived different than what I really mean. I don't mean to be disrespectful in any way saying a truck reminds me of a verse. But, if you see a FED EX truck today, know that it's a reminder to me about Genesis 41:32, when Joseph said that the dreams were given TWICE in two different ways because "the matter is firmly decided by God." But as one of the ancient writers once wrote: "All things lead to God." 41:32 was an intriguing thought and I wondered if not only dreams but also verses are given to us again and again so that we would know that it's our God showing up and that the truth for my circumstance is firmly decided by my good God not by what I think is jumping off the page. In the Bible there are 31,173 verses but I keep hearing the following same thoughts over and over. My beautiful God is

standing right here beside me even though I am struggling

surrounding me with His Love

And the verses I keep hearing again and again...
Surrounded by Love - Psalm 125:2
It's my Beautiful God Who is in my Path - Numb 22:34
God's knocking on the door of my heart - Rev 3:20
But, I can't do this cause all I have is 5 loaves & 2 fish - Matt 14:17
God's providing Water in my desert - Isa 43:20
Cease striving - Psalm 46:10
Rest, my beloved - Deut 33:12
Those seven verses just keep showing up everywhere I go over the past year.

I don't pretend to know that I have a word from God. Just because it jumped off the page, doesn't mean it's applicable to my circumstance. So, how do I know? My son is going through the Experiencing God bible study workbook by Henry Blackaby at his high school. Today, when I was teaching his class, I learned that Blackaby said: "If God has spoken to you, you must continue responding to that word until it comes to pass, even if it takes 25 years, like Abram."

You see, I've had a gorgeous generous act happen to me over the weekend. The Fed Ex man left an envelope at my door on Friday. The return address was a Houston bank. Oh NO! I must have screamed, cause my son instantly appeared by my side inquiring, "What is it mommy?" to which I replied: "We are being SUED." Again. It's happened before. I ripped open the unwanted outer envelope to find an inner letter-sized envelope with a yellow post-it note attached that read: "We hope this helps." How can being sued help anyone?? I ripped open that inner envelope and flabbergastedly (no such word) read "International Money Order" at the top. A money order made out to me for $1,000.00. I looked to see what else was in the envelope. Another money order for $1,000. And another money order for $1,000. And another for $1,000. And one more. Five money orders totaling $5,000. Anonymous. I fell to the floor of my study in a pool of instant tears and thanked a very present God in all of this. All of a sudden, I leaped up and ran back to ask my son if I was reading the decimals right...maybe it was $100.00?? No, I had the unfamiliar decimals right. God knew we needed $1,500 by Monday. My husband's current job as a construction supervisor has come to an end with no future contracts on the horizon and it could take weeks or months to sign another contract. I applied to about 25 jobs last week, but made a "typo" on my cell number and we disconnected our landline---so, I'm still unemployed, doing substitute teacher jobs. Pray that my husband and I both would find where God wants us to be.

Smiling, I think my Heavenly Father knew and sent me $1,500. And, I think Jesus, my beautiful Lord, wanted to send $1,500 too. And the Holy Spirit, my Wonderful Counselor, topped it off with another $1,500. And all Three added $500 so I could tithe it away---$5,000. OH! IDK. I'm being playful. I am so overwhelmed on the floor of my carpet over here. God prompted someone to do this unbelievable gesture of Love. Not only cause we needed money for Monday, but because He was surrounding me with His Love, He was standing in my path, knocking on my door, taking my 5 loaves and 2 fish, providing this thirsty mouth with some quenching water, so that I can cease striving once again, and rest as His beloved.

So, I went to my bank to cash the money orders and they said, No Way. They aren't signed. Anonymous. I called the Houston bank and they said that it could be done that way---the person can remain anonymous, no need for their signature. My bank firmly said no again, said it couldn't be cashed, to try another bank tomorrow, and gave specific advice how to do just that. Strange. I am on my way back to another bank in a few minutes. (Don't know how, but the deposit just worked out.)

Meanwhile, maybe you'll see a Fed Ex truck as you drive along today, and if you do, remember that when your God says something twice, maybe He's trying to let you know the matter is firmly decided. I may be wrong. I do know I'll never be struggle free in this life, but I want to wrestle well with my God over those disturbed places in my heart. I do know that this is a very lonely season in my life and this anonymous gift was such an encouragement to me that my beautiful God sees me and surrounds me. And I do know this, I am

Seen by my silent good God.
Surrounded by the Love of my beautiful Christ.
Staggered by His Presence in this, His movement for me, and so grateful to HIM.
Stunned by a secret agent in Houston who has a huge heart for their God & His Kingdom. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to my secret agent, a co-agent of their Christ!