Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Tell Me Your Sorrows

Something just happened to me that I could tell you if you were sitting across from me with your cup of coffee. I just can't share it on a blog. I feel so beaten down. So hurt over what has happened. It is very hard to swallow what has happened to me. So, I called no one. I spoke to no one. I went to my good God. He brought to my mind this scene in a story---a story that has come to my mind OFTEN over this past year. It is an excerpt from The Horse and His Boy by C. S. Lewis.

And being very tired and having nothing inside him, he felt so sorry for himself that the tears rolled down his cheeks. What put a stop to this was a sudden fright. Shasta discovered that someone or somebody was walking beside him. It was pitch black and he could see nothing. And The Thing (or Person) was going so quietly that he could hardly hear any footfalls. What he could hear was breathing. His invisible companion seemed to breathe on a very large scale...
"Who are you?" the boy said, scarcely above a whisper.
"One who has waited long for you to speak," replied The Thing.

To which the boy replied: Man! "I am the unluckiest person in the whole world."
Once more he felt the warm breath of the Thing on his hand and face.

“There,” The Thing said, “that is not the breath of a ghost."
"TELL ME YOUR SORROWS,” - spoke Aslan. "I do not call you unfortunate," said the Large Voice.

And the boy retorted---"Don't you think it was bad luck to meet so many lions?"

"There was only one lion," spoke Aslan.

"How do you know?

"I was the lion."

This scene from the pen of C.S. Lewis lives in my memory and I wonder why?
Is it because...
my God has waited long for me to speak to Him first before I go to family, to friends for comfort and care...

Is it because...
I feel unfortunate at times with the amount of things I've had to go through. My list would be so long from childhood trauma to gang rape to multiple miscarriages to losing the church position we loved so much...

Is it because...
His warm breath on my hand and face shows up so unexpectedly for me...and this year it has been wholly holy haunting all the time.
This morning that Breath was all over me when I crossed the bridge on our way to school with my son sitting next to me. I grabbed his huge hand (he's 6'4") and I began to weep in repentance over this thing He had brought to my mind. He sweetly kissed me back wondering once again why his mom was crying...it's a frequent occurrence around me. He sees my God showing up for me so much. And my tears this morning were ones of such gratitude. No bitter tears running down my face. Sorrow-filled tears that my God is wiping away. Off to the gym to walk and it happened again on the treadmill of all places---the Warm Breath on my face, and I knew it was my good God coming to me.
There is only one lion in my life and He was there in all of my sorrows, in all of my joys. He was there when I was raped. He was there when I looked at death square in the eyes. I didn't think He was. But he was There.
And I know that Breath, that Hand on my face this morning. So, I'll keep on telling Him the sorrows in my heart. This may be a desert time for me as it says in Jeremiah 31:1---may I find His Favor in this desert for He comes to give me REST. I am finding a rest I have never had. And, verses 10-14 say: hear the Word for me today for it is my Good Shepherd WHO is watching over me, redeeming me from the hand of those who are stronger than I. Oh my, how true! I rejoice in my God for my Good Shepherd is turning my mourning into gladness. "I will give you comfort and joy instead of sorrow." (v. 13) Only my Good God can do that. Such craziness--- I have a little bit more joy this morning in the midst of my sorrows. Sorrow and joy mingle friendly in my heart. In fact, I'm even dancing in my heart! There is only One God, One Lion. And, yes, He is always on the move. May you sense His Breath, His Hand on you this very day!

14 comments:

CrownLaidDown 11/08/2007  

Praying for you dear friend. Your words minister to me today, as well. Thank you for sharing them! OH what a day. I cannopt even speak of it all, yet. But we are safe and in His Hand. Change is afoot, though. So pray for us to have favor and wisdom in the midst of His mighty breath upon us.

I thank Him daily for you!

PS The new hamster is very fast and everyone, especially Noah, is happy about it.

Fran 11/08/2007  

Oh Bev...
Those words from you just fall so fresh on me today. Bless you dear friend. Amazing and beautiful is our Lord and Savior. Sorrow may last for the night, but joy cometh!

Oh, joy! Come to Bev and rest sweetly and peacefully in her heart.

Thank you Jesus for this daughter of the King. I pray you have had a good day.

Blessings~
Fran

Shonda 11/08/2007  

Oh Bev, How I wish I could just hug you. I learn from you how to encourage myself in the Lord as David did. I learn from you each time I read a post. I receive from the Lord through you and I thank You for sharing.

Love & blessings in Christ--
Shonda

Hendrick Family 11/08/2007  

I love you! You teach me bunches.

Heather

connorcolesmom 11/08/2007  

Sweet Bev, my sister and friend - I could feel your pain and yet joy as you wrote this post. Yes your King has always been there and loves you so much. He is also proud of you!! You bring such encouragement and love to all those who "meet" you.
I will keep you in my prayers over this situation and know that God's breath and love is all over you :)
God bless,
Kim

jennyhope 11/09/2007  

I got your comment on my blog last night and the Lord put you on my heart to pray for first thing this morning. It is so strange because I have never met you but our bond is in the Lord. He is so real and good. I hope you have a good day!!
love jenny

Sue @ praise & coffee 11/09/2007  

Oh sweet one.
Your precious words pierce my heart. His everlasting arms embrace you. Your tears are stored up in Him.
Could you ever imagine loving Him so much? And had adversity not sought you, you wouldn't.
The result...we count it all joy.

Love you,
Sue

Fran 11/09/2007  

I'm praying for you today, Bev.
You have been on my heart. As I type this I ask God to place His presence within your heart, but within your mind too. I pray for Him to surround you with peace and joy today. That you see Him through His creation, through His Word, through other people, through the stillness. I pray that you are filled with such unspeakable joy for Who He is and what He does!

Psalm 46 is a favorite! May it fall sweetly on you.

Blessings~
Fran

Much love to you this day~
Fran

christie 11/09/2007  

Praying for you, Bev...that the Lord will continue to breathe his comfort, love and mercy on you, so that you will feel his presence with every breath you take.

In Him,
Christie

Little Steps Of Faith 11/09/2007  

Hi:) You are always SO sweet with your blog comments:) Just love you:)

BTW, I am no long M.I.A...I just had to make my profile public...somehow it wasn't:)

Be Blessed:)

Angie

jennyhope 11/10/2007  

this is so rich and i am so sorry for what you went through can I just say that. I am so sorry.
Also, I really tried to practice today going to the Lord before friends and etc and crying out to Him. It gets easy to get away from doing that. your post encouraged me to stop in the middle of what could have been a panic situation and pray and the Lord really brought peace there. God is using you in your brokenness Bev.

Alana 11/10/2007  

Wow, what a POWERFUL Testimony. I have no words. But thank you for sharing yours.

The Preacher's Wife 11/13/2007  

Wow Bev,

I'm ashamed to admit I didn't know your story. But like some of the others, I felt compelled to visit you this morning.

I can't imagine the pain you've experienced, but one thing I do know. Where there is pain - peace abounds. So what measure of peace must you experience that the rest of us may never know? How often will you know the breath of God because He is so near? The scene in Narnia is just perfection to speak to your situation as well as many of ours. Thank you so much for a good Word.

Much love,

Lisa

He Knows My Name 12/02/2007  

bev, i was scrolling down your blog list and this one struck a chord with me i had to read what you had to say. i am ashamed that my knee jerk response to my sorrow/troubles is not to go to Him first.

the last 2 years have been absolutely devistating for us because of the choices our children have made and are making. they have turned and walked in the direction of the world with no regard for how they were raised. we put ourselves under a microscope and have second guessed everything we have done. i have to be totally honest. if my trial could be something i had to endure and i could know their hearts were solidly in the palm of His hand then i would say bring it on. i have appologized to my son (6'2") just recently because i feel i had not been the kind of mom he need. i'm not sure what he did with that comment but i felt i had to say it.

this blog has been a great encouragement to me and has caused me to reflect on my habits. if i could only go to Him with my troubles would He not tend to them just the same?

take care. ~janel

Praying for Our Friend Joanne Psalm 131:3 Waiting on God. Hope Now. Hope Always.

House of Blessing Tribal Childrens Home

House of Blessing Tribal Childrens Home
"Whoever welcomes a little child in My Name, welcomes Me." Matthew 18:5 We have posted pictures of the orphans receiving their gifts from you. Scroll down to the post entitled "Today Was the Big Day." Many orphans didn't own anything of their own, but now do, because of you.

My Family

My Family
Britt, Blair, Bev, Bob, Brooke, Barrett

Contact

I've met some amazing women through blogging. I would love to hear from you. My personal e-mail is:
sixbrandons@gmail.com
I have another blog where I blog daily as a small group of us read through the New Testament this year. It's called A String of Pearls. We carry each other on mats (when we just can't walk anymore) to Jesus and sweet things like that.

Followers

My Blog List

Search This Blog

FEEDJIT Live Traffic Feed

Site Meter

Especially Designed for Bev by

Photobucket

  © Free Blogger Templates 'Photoblog II' by Ourblogtemplates.com 2008