Delivered with TERROR and with WONDER Deut 26:8
I have to take a break from grading hundreds of papers...my Tuesday deadline looms large...
Heard from my sweet Brookie in Bangkok and her tests at the hospital all came out NORMAL...thank you God!!! Thank you so much for praying for my daughter. She has had more cancer scares for a 24-year-old than most in one year's time. But what I love so much is her faith. It speaks so loud---for her head is laid on His lap. And His Hand is on her head. Oh!
So grateful to our glorious God this morning for my daughter's new health and a tint of coolness, so I am TIME OUT going for a neighborhood jog and a new blog...
Night before last I was so startled in middle of night by the plaintive wail of our Border Collie...now if it was daytime, I wouldn't be afraid---in fact, we just had a sonic boom rumble over our house nestled by an Air Force base and I didn't even blink...just walked to the window to check it o
ut and all was okay. So, why am I so terrified at nighttime? Actually, I do know why... most of what happened to me as a child was done in the middle of the night. I shot straight up in the dark and it happened---just like it has my whole life---I couldn't utter a word I was so terrified---kind of like a partial paralysis. I hate it...it's so demonic...and I cried out ON THE INSIDE to my good good God to please help deliver me out of this trap one more time. For one minute it is like sheer terror and God brought to my mind the verse--- Be Still! and know that I AM God. For one minute that seemed like forever, it diminished and I cried out and grabbed my husband's face and just kept saying his name over and over...Bob! Bob! Bob! Pray for me! He knew what was going on...this has happened to me on and off my whole life. Used to be way worse because I actually feared that if I lost control while it was happening, it was over and my mind would be gone. And that I had to fight it. Oh silly me that I could wrestle with darkness when we have the incomparably great power on my behalf, same power that was exerted in Christ being raised from the dead---that's what is available, Bev! So, no more, I know now that the worse can happen---cause it did to me last year---and yet "No one can snatch me out of my Father's Hand." John 10:28.
ut and all was okay. So, why am I so terrified at nighttime? Actually, I do know why... most of what happened to me as a child was done in the middle of the night. I shot straight up in the dark and it happened---just like it has my whole life---I couldn't utter a word I was so terrified---kind of like a partial paralysis. I hate it...it's so demonic...and I cried out ON THE INSIDE to my good good God to please help deliver me out of this trap one more time. For one minute it is like sheer terror and God brought to my mind the verse--- Be Still! and know that I AM God. For one minute that seemed like forever, it diminished and I cried out and grabbed my husband's face and just kept saying his name over and over...Bob! Bob! Bob! Pray for me! He knew what was going on...this has happened to me on and off my whole life. Used to be way worse because I actually feared that if I lost control while it was happening, it was over and my mind would be gone. And that I had to fight it. Oh silly me that I could wrestle with darkness when we have the incomparably great power on my behalf, same power that was exerted in Christ being raised from the dead---that's what is available, Bev! So, no more, I know now that the worse can happen---cause it did to me last year---and yet "No one can snatch me out of my Father's Hand." John 10:28. Yesterday, when I awoke and went to Him...my God said to me in my quiet time with Him. Psalm 143:3 Satan makes you dwell in darkness but 143:8 "Let this morning bring word of my unfailing Love." I found God's love in His word, in my faithful husband, my kids, a kind friend, a blog, a walk, a Breaking Free Bible Study, a song, a word, a meal shared...I found His love. And I wasn't afraid to go to bed last night and I know that that is God...sweet sleep.
What is the greatest thing we fear? I know for me...it happened to me last year and...??? I'm still here and trusting God. Mark 9:24 - "I believe...help my unbelief." And my God continues to lift me up and stand me on my feet. Mark 9:27. This morning in my QT I read Deut. 26:8 that when He delivered them out of Egypt it was with TERROR and with WONDER...and that's pretty much my life. Being delivered with terror; BEING delivered with wonder. Then I read that I can go hide myself in Him Psalm 143:9. Hide me in the shelter of your tabernacle..oohh. Psalm 27:5.
Absorbing the faint coolness of this Texas morn and the terror and wonder of it all, I have been camping out at one song on my 2-mile run---Chris Tomlin's Amazing Grace/ My Chains are Gone. The jog and blog break are now over & I'm going back to grading papers knowing He is forever mine and forever yours...
12 comments:
Hi Bev! I don't know if you remeber me or not, but you left a post on my blog awhil ago. I wanted to thank you for taking time to leave a sweet comment. I'm new to this blog thing and stil not very good at it (I've only posted twice), but I have prayed over my blog and for God to lead the people there that He wants me to have contact with (and also just to show me if this is something He wants me to do)...so... you were an answer to prayer and a meeting orchestrated by God! I have read a lot of your blog and your heart for Him shines through. You also have an amazing family and it is so wonderful that your children have grown up to know thier Savior for themselves. This is my most important job as a mom...that my children will love Jesus and want to serve Him all thier days.
I could relate a little to this post as I have struggled with panic attacks. They happen less frequently now, and only at night, but it can be that much more frightening in the dark I think. Thanks for the verses that you posted. It is when I pray that I am able to start to calm down, and claiming God's word is so powerful.
Thanks again for stopping by my blog. In Him ~ Kristin
P.S. My husband is a PK
Bev,
Wow, you help the reader get into your thoughts. I don't know your story, but I can sense the deep fear you felt through your writing. So wonderful that you hear God speak and you listen to Him, and He calms you with his peace.
Although, our stories are different, there is something about fear and the darkness of night, but I am glad that today you reminded me about our Great God and how His light and power can shine through even in the night.
Blessings, and I am so happy for you about your daughter...
Ahh, I love the way you share your heart. May God bless you for sharing what He is doing...and may He bless others who read it!
Good to hear your voice today!
Praying for you Friend,
holly
ms. beverly, that is my song!!!! amazing grace, my chains are gone!! it literally was the song that was being sung, by chris tomlin who stood in front of me on stage at the passion '07 conference as the Lord delivered me from over 10 years of the enemy's lies!! :) i get so excited whenever i see or hear it anywhere!! can you tell?!?!?! :)
praying for you and all the papers...and rejoicing with you over your continued deliverance :D
I cried out this week for deliverance from something that was haunting me and you know what? Even though I did not deserve it, swiftly He delivered me. Even though it was something I'd gotten myself into and I myself had made worse, He still pulled me out. There have been times when I've felt satan pressin in on all sides. Like I couldn't even breathe. In absolute fear I asked God what to do. When His answer came I silently began saying His names over and over, then whispered, then spoke weakly, until till I could finally shout the names of our sweet Father over and over. Amazing power came from saying those names and satan backed off. For the time being, but he still went. Now when I feel the pressure of satan closing in on my family or myself, I fight him with Gods word. Sometimes it's a repeating utterance of "Jesus" over and over and sometimes I boldly fight back with full on scripture, but the result is usually the same. Satan knows to back OFF! And sometimes I really get going. One hand on the hip, one hand wagging a finger and me saying, "and let me TELL you something ELSE you little stinker!". :) Sometimes, that's what it takes. :) But my point is, keep combating Him with God's commands. Keep fighting satan with prayer and God's word. Remember that the war is allready won, and trust God to finish it like He promises He will. The battles are ours, and the way we win them is by using our sword, God's word. You are an amazing woman whom I know God loves deeply. Rest in the arms of His embrace.
I also suffer panic attacks, Bev, and I have experienced the power of our God, who fights our battles for us. I remember so well the night my daughter was so ill from pneumonia. Her breath was ragged and scary-sounding. I was laying beside her but was seized with a panic attack that had my entire body trembling. As I prayed for the Lord to remove this attack, I felt His presence, His peace descend on me -- I can only describe it like a soft, heavy blanket. It literally made my limbs feel paralyzed, in a good way. I pray He will send His comfort to you, with wonder -- the next time terror strikes.
What happened to your daughter's roommate? Was she released from the hospital? I've been praying!
-Christie
He is ever present with you, He never leaves you. You are His, sealed with a promise.
Praying for you sister.
Love,
Sue
Bev,
The computer is my friend and enemy at times... I can't always figure things out :)
If you go back to my post, and then click on the word "here" (it is in pink). It should bring you to the
"You Tube" video I was talking about...
Have a wonderful weekend!!
Oh sweet Bev... Doesn't Satan run havac on our life at times...? I use to.. and still can at times allow this to happen.
I counseled a girl this week that described this same situation.. and I knew exactly how she felt...
because I have walked this road.. I know how you feel Bev.
one of the things that helps me the most is to say out loud the name of our Savior... JESUS...
as Satan is not omnipotent... and his little helpers run at this beautiful name...and then I start praying..
Our mind can only hold one thought at a time.. and I want it to hold the thought of Jesus.. not panic, not that I'm out of control...
Please Bev, let me know when I can be praying for you... esp.. for your daughter or family...
love you girl...
ps.. we read the same books....
I met Larry Crabb and I'm about to finish Soul Talk...
and as I read through your list,,, I was like, wow, we have read almost the same ones.. book for book... cool
Oh my sweet Bev!
Your post touched my heart.
How much God loves us and wants us to know He never leaves or forsakes us!
THANK YOU GOD!
I am so excited that your daughter's test results are normal - praise HIM!!
You are a treasure and how He loves you!!
Kim
Hi Bev! Thanks for stopping by my blog! I do not know your daughter, however, Lindsee told me all about your connectiont to Jon and Sally. (Me, Lindsee, and Sally all grew up together). I actually sat next to Amy Achgill when I went to church in Houston this morning! What a small world!
And how AMAZING that The Chapel was the first church you ever stepped foot in. God is so good!
Stop by again sometime...
Jen
I just love reading your words Bev!
This one was just POWERFUL! Bless your sweet soul for pouring it all out. I truly felt the words on the page. I am also thrilled for your daughters test results. I know your momma's heart was completely anxious and wanting to be with her.
I pray for you. I pray that our sweet Jesus is filling you up by the hour with His mighty love and presence. He just loves you so. He thinks of you. He talks about you. He is at work on your behalf. Enjoy Him tremendously and all He offers.
Have a blessed week friend!
Fran
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