Monday Morning Cover to Cover.......The gardener is calling your name - John 20:15

Just drove across the bridge here in the city where I sit on a dismal day. No sunlight in my home or heart, but it is morning and His mercy on me is brand new. Things haven't turned out like I had hoped they would. And I mean good things. So grateful to God for standing me up at this time in my life, for lifting my head in the midst of some bleak stuff. Much praise rising in my heart to Him for Who He is in my life and that when I turn to Him, He listens and loves. Morning has broken open, the birds are singing, the wind is whipping the leaves about, and parts of me feel like I could burst for my God is saying to me this bleary beautiful morn: "I have come to you." He doesn't leave us like orphans.

Here's my posting on what lingers with me from the chronological readings this week.

HAVE I FALLEN AWAY FROM GOD IN MY BUSY LIFE, IN MY BUSY THOUGHTS? There's a thread through my week tugging at my heart about "falling away from Me." Matt 26:31. The disciples sang a hymn with Jesus. Wonder what that was like. I so adore singing worship songs to my beautiful God. I love doing it with others! But I can't imagine standing there in His Presence singing it with Him, to Him, for Him. And the next words out of Jesus' mouth were:
"This night, you will all fall away from Me." I think people think that music sweeps away their sins. No, only repentance does. It's what we do with those things that bother us in the fray of our hearts.

IN THE MIDST OF MY CIRCUMSTANCES, AM I LIVING OUT OF A GOOD PLACE IN MY HEART? John 15:5 - "Apart from Me, you can do nothing." We think we can be overcomers and hold our heads high, and set out face like a flint to do the right things, and dig way down deep and pull ourselves up by our bootstraps. But what does that count for? Apart from God, we can do nothing of value for eternity. We might look pretty good in this world. Maybe we are even successful in what we touch. But are we living life out of our old nature that we are so comfortable with or do we live out of our new nature. Seems to me that it gets mixed up. We are living out of the old and people see right through our arrogance, our pride. Yet, we think we are doing right. Apart from Christ, what we do amounts to nothing.

DO I BELIEVE THE MIRACLES I HAVE SEEN? This has been a difficult week for me. Extremely. So, how do I live and embrace what God has allowed, provided, planned, when it's not what I had hoped for. It's not what I thought I really needed. Here I am telling the God who hosts the starry skies tonight what I think I need. How arrogant of me! There's a thought in John 14:11 that has helped me in my dark week. "Believe in the miracles you have seen." I don't see any miracles in the place where I am tonight but I can believe in the Ones I have seen. And I can know way down deep that Jesus prayed for me this day "that my faith fail not." Luke 22:31.

And I just broke down and wept when Jesus said: “I won’t leave you as orphans. I will come to you.” I have felt like an orphan all of my life. I am an orphan this day having no parents. Never felt loved when I had them. But those five words just overwhelm me:I WILL COME TO YOU …

AM I IGNORING MY CIRCUMSTANCES OR EMBRACING AND ENTERING THE PLACE GOD HAS FOR ME? Luke 22:42 - I am so moved that even Jesus asked the Father if He was willing to take the cup from Him—-yet not my will, but Yours be done. Jesus didn’t deny the pain He faced but He embraced the will of the Father. May we not deny what we are in nor ignore it but enter and embrace what God has provided and willed for our lives.

DO YOU HEAR YOUR BEAUTIFUL GOD CALLING YOUR NAME TONIGHT? John 20:15 "Woman," Jesus said, "why are you crying?" He appeared to Mary but she thought He was the gardener. I wonder how many times I have missed my beautiful God thinking he was the gardener??? But when he said her name, she knew. God called my name this week as a sweet special ed student blew me a kiss goodbye. I'll never forget the moment. I had spent most of that day teaching fighting back the tears. And God so showed up for me.

I sit here in my pain with tears rolling down my cheeks knowing that my Jesus is calling my name, calling your name tonight. He is risen. He is alive. Apart from Him, we can't do anything that counts.