Saturday, November 8, 2008

God Kissed Me Today

Something happened to me yesterday that disappointed me beyond measure. I had been waiting for 5 months for an answer on an event that I thought would help me find my beautiful God in ways I have not. The answer came yesterday and it was "no." I had to embrace the loss and remain there not denying its existence nor feeding it with pleasure. Isaiah 40:1-4 are verses that have come to mean a lot to me this year. It seems to me that people deal with disappointment by pushing it down and trying to be an overcomer or saying I am going to accept that as my lot from God and move on or even try to explain it away. But I must face the disappointment, the loss, the hurt, and wrestle with my beautiful God Who has different plans for me. And as these verses in Isaiah say: He promises us that if we really want to know Him, then HE will lower our mountains and raise our valleys up so that we may know the God we so long for. The promise is not to fix our world, or give us the better life here, but to truly know Him. Yesterday I read the words of Jesus saying that if there was anyway, let this cup pass from Me. He was honest with right where He was. And He was God. He didn't say: "It's all right." "I'll be fine." "They can do to me whatever they want." No, He said, take it away. Then He stood to remain in the suffering and embrace God's will. May I stand today to remain in my suffering of disappointment. I do feel my valley has been raised a little overnight. I subbed and sobbed at a Special Ed Department yesterday with precious kids close to the heart of God. I asked my sovereign LORD to speak to me in my immense disappointment and He did: He spoke to me Isaiah 41:17 which says----I hear you Bev in your desert! I will make pools of water for you in your wilderness, for you who are needy at this moment. And He did. Yesterday, as my last student parted my presence, she turned back around to me on her crippled feet and threw me the biggest kiss ever using both of her crippled hands. It was straight from the mouth of my beautiful God!

7 comments:

Toknowhim 11/08/2008  

I just love your posts... Always encouraging your sisters and brothers in Christ...

Thinking of you today...

Holly 11/08/2008  

I'm so glad...so glad for you, friend. Praying that every valley will be exalted soon for you!

Patty 11/08/2008  

Bev,
I know when God says no He has a better yes. I believe that for you. I love the verses you shareds because God has been given me those same verses for many months, since San Antonio. I have been going through a rough time for a few months but I am getting to know God better but I know this, God has you so close, to teach you more of Him that I know He will be the Lifter of your head.

Much love,
Patty

annie's eyes 11/08/2008  

Things won't be set right in this world--no promise for that. A friend told me she was tired of people saying "oh it will get better." No, but God has a real way of showing up in those valleys like we never see Him when things are smoothe. What a sweet gift--a big kiss from one of His loved ones. They do have such a way that points to God. Hope to visit with you on the way to church tomorrow, or afterward, as I have been going earlier. I said a prayer for you just now and you are always close to my heart. I can't wait to share an Oasis sunset with you! Love you, Annette

Nise' 11/09/2008  

Bev, I love your heart! Your post reminds me of this week's reading when Jesus told the disciples His leaving would bring about a better relationship. This no means a different yes is coming. Thank you Father that You are mighty to save. That you take great delight in Bev, quiet her with Your love, thank you that You rejoice over her with singing! (Zeph.3:17)

Mary Lou 11/09/2008  

Praying for you as i am out of town. Bless you for sharing your heart. You are in mine. You are being prayed for by us all. Can't wait to read your post for this past week's readings. Love,Mary Lou

jennyhope 11/15/2008  

I so needed to pop in and say hey and happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you bev

Praying for Our Friend Joanne Psalm 131:3 Waiting on God. Hope Now. Hope Always.

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I've met some amazing women through blogging. I would love to hear from you. My personal e-mail is:
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I have another blog where I blog daily as a small group of us read through the New Testament this year. It's called A String of Pearls. We carry each other on mats (when we just can't walk anymore) to Jesus and sweet things like that.

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