Friday, April 6, 2007

GOOD FRIDAY a fire burns

Good Friday...my Easter weekend has started with a flame...
I went to Good Friday services this morning...there were seven stations set up to connect us with our glorious God. I was so glad I showed up at the service...but more than all, my God showed up for me. But it was Station #6 where things got a little out of control. I walked up to Station #6 thinking "I can't do anything right...I can't even worship right and I am not doing these stations like I should be doing them---kinda beating up on myself and it's Good Friday and this is about God, not about me." As I listened to Chris Tomlin's The Power of the Cross on my headset, I was so convictingly caught up in the moment. But then arrives a nano-second smell of fire and I opened my eyes and looked up. OH MY WORD!!!! When I pulled one of the wires connecting all eight headsets to the computer closer to me, I positioned the wire right over the flame of the candle. The wire burned up and the headset was buring in a flame about 12 inches high. I sucked all the air out of the Edna Gladney Adoption Center room as I opened my eyes and screamed out for help. My husband is not one to panic after living with me for 28 years (I HAVE BEEN FAR TOO DRAMATIC WITH LIFE) and he was at Station #5 and HE DIDN'T MOVE, not a blink not a wink, kind of looking at me a little bit wondering what the wife was doing---he brings me out to this nice building to worship and I'm over there sucking air and gasping for help setting stuff on fire. He said afterwards that his glasses were not "on" and he couldn't see---OKAY. SO, I grabbed something and started beating the fire out and it immediately went out, thankfully. All I could think at that point was how much is this going to cost us???? The headset was damaged beyond repair, melted into oblivion but was the computer okay?? Oh dear me. Isn't it amazing how we go to worship God and He speaks to us and shows up in the fire. Hey, I am not putting myself in the same sentence with a burning bush, believe me. I just hope Jeremiah 20:9 that somehow His Word would be a burning fire in our hearts every day. The last station, we were supposed to be creative and do something with worship---there were a bunch of crayons and quotes and crying and creative stuff and....I just wanted to get out unnoticed and pay for the damages. So I asked God to give me some words of what just transpired and this is what He spoke to me as I wrote the following letter to God and reflected on my seven stations on Good Friday morning...

Looking for answers in everyone's faces, no more! Looking for my God Who is showing up and rising up in the Faces of Others.
Learning to WAIT for my loving God for immersion of my life in Himself, not His blessings.
Loathing Evil raising its Head right now while I read "Everything begins with God...He's 10,000 times more worthy than Anyone or Anything."
Longing never to FORGET or FORFEIT the Grace of God by clinging to worthless stuff as He says in the prayer in Jonah 2:9.
Letting Go of trying to do the Right Things even this moment instead of just showing up for you my ever-present God.
Lavishing LOVE on my GOOD GOD while I sing "How Great Thou Art" knowing it was the first song I ever sang to You 28 years ago.
Living to matter to Someone, living wanting to be Special, living to be Recognized by anyone....I give all that stuff up this moment to willingly enter a Sweet Death, knowing you already died for all of this.
Laying down choosing to be safe rather than suffering; laying down choosing to hide in my heart rather than Enter this moment, Embrace my God, Enter Me. Losing my life. Come to Me you who are weary & burdened. Matthew 11:28.
Lifting up my Eyes to you my God...Psalm 123:1-3...just as the eyes of slaves look to the hand of their masters...our eyes look to you till you show us Mercy.
Looking no more into the faces of my world for my worth, my dignity, and my identity. Looking into the Face of my God. The mirrors in which I daily look distort who I am. Lifting my eyes, I must look to Him Unseen (II Cor. 4:18) and let Hope hold my hand.

Can't wait to go to the next Easter service tonight! and tomorrow! and Sunday! I hope I won't be too disruptive! This is one awesome weekend to worship our Resurrected Savior!!! And we get to do this for the rest of our lives throughout Eternity!

2 comments:

Brooke 4/06/2007  

oh my.... i was laughing so hard! i think there were tears running down my face. i can totally see dad in that situation--- calm, cool, collected.... unphased by a bev gasp. crack me up. mom, i'm just glad you didn't catch on fire! :)

Jimmy 4/17/2007  

Beverly,
Thank you for this pot and the laughs as well as the encouragement. I met you at FPO with Brooke before we left for our appropiate places in the world. I am doing well in Africa but there are good days and bad days but the Lord with His mercy and grace sustains me every day!

Praying for Our Friend Joanne Psalm 131:3 Waiting on God. Hope Now. Hope Always.

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I've met some amazing women through blogging. I would love to hear from you. My personal e-mail is:
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I have another blog where I blog daily as a small group of us read through the New Testament this year. It's called A String of Pearls. We carry each other on mats (when we just can't walk anymore) to Jesus and sweet things like that.

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