15 - "A Bonus From God" Genesis 43-45

Genesis 43:14 And they were afraid of what Joseph thought that the money was back in their saddlepacks. When you do the right things in life, should we be afraid of failure? I love the response of Pharaoh's servant in The Message: "Your God must have given you a BONUS." Wonder if I think that way when such good stuff happens to me? And when Joseph finds the chalice that was planted in Ben's bag, I thought the brothers response was so interesting: "God is behind this, exposing how bad we are." I've been thinking a lot about God exposing me for who I really am that results in such repentance and rest and that's right---it shouldn't be guilt that condemns but guilt that frees us up! ... And when Joseph says to them "come closer" and don't feel bad, "God was behind it. God sent me here. It wasn't you who sent me here but God. He set me in place as a father to Pharaoh and a rulter of all Egypt." Ooooh! That so stirs me up to reflect on things gone wrong in my world...and to know this night that God was behind it. And I was sobbing by the time Joseph wept over each brother in 45:14 and then they could speak and move and be free. What healing! What a beautiful thought for me! Am I weeping over those who have betrayed me and hurt me? Like the guy who raped me. I so want to find a better place in my heart and live that way!