181 - "Like Lazarus, Awake My Soul" Psalm 31-35

Psalm 35:22 Please hear my voice as I cry for mercy. Psalm 31:22 Just like Lazarus, awaken my soul to see life again. Just like Lazarus, send people my way to unbind what I cannot. Thank you, God, for the invitation to pray without ceasing. Is there ever a prayer that is unanswered. No. God answers all of them---it's just that maybe the answer we hoped for; or it is not the one we receive;the timing we require is revealed to be our will not His. In John 11:41 ~ Jesus lifts up his eyes and says, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this on account of the people standing around, that they may believe that you sent me. Lazarus had been dead for 4 days. Did anyone really believe that God would bring him back to life? If we ask, He will answer. Don't be silent. Please be near to me. 

PHOTO: Eatonville, Washington. The street where the Morgans and Brandons once lived.

180 - “Live the Confusion in My Presence Psalm 23-30

 

God promises to guide me through the Right Path.

Whatever I walk through this season and even overall, You, O LORD, are guiding me on the right path to find You. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.  There's such Mystery to this life.  Somehow, we've constructed stories of experience or morality or principled living.  There is a right path. God is leading us to know Him better not figure things out. No Greater Love. No other place to be.  May we find the Sovereign God in the midst of what tugs at our hearts.  Psalm 23:3. 

"Face the hard questions that life requires you to ask.  Gather with other travelers on the narrow road, pilgrims who acknowledge their confusion and feel their fears.  Then together, live those questions in My Presence." 66LL.  O, to find Him in our struggles and not let the bad things define us. 

PHOTO: The San Antonio Missions. A watercourse.

179 - “My World May Not Recognize Me, But My God Does” Psalm 18-22

  

He brought me forth into a broad place where I can stand without having to wonder. He rescued me because He delights in me---maybe my world does not, He does! And I believe that! Psa 18:19. My God is illuminating all of my darkness. Psa 18:29. I may not see a lot happening this very day but as I reflect back, so much has changed. Change takes time. Doesn't happen overnight. My dark patches, incomprehensible shadows will be made clear one day. Until then, I trust smack dab in the middle of confusion, disconcerting news, and a world that has no place for me. But I am here to live, to love, to give, to move. I no longer need my world to come through for me. ~ Acts 20:24 God fills us all. Fills all those empty spaces. You know, He is looking for empty spaces today. John of the Cross said it this way: The Spirit of God cannot pass a soul with empty places without filling it with Himself. Search and find Him---He is here.

We are far too easily pleased. C.S. Lewis said it. May I never be satisfied with anything greater than becoming like Christ. 

PHOTO: Free Bible images. 

178 - "Let Your Theological Boxes Explode" Psalm 10-17

             

Arise on the helpless! God, lift up Your Hand! Psalm 10:12 

I walked the long lonely corridor of further testing. Bob did too this week. Something was wrong. Helpless, I lay on the gurney. Arise, O God. Three random texts come in---- God is holding you. No coincidence as I sat alone in a hospital of thousands. Held. 

Make room in your thoughts for God - Psalm 10:4 

Wonder when there is no room for God. A prayer for God Himself to appear. 

To manifest His Presence and Providence in the affairs of my little lower world. 

Arise, O God, on the helpless.

 13:2-3. Let me not barter for Anything Else to enlighten me. You have not forgotten. You see this thing that is happening to me. I will bless the LORD Who has counseled me. O God, please let my mind instruct me even this night. Because You are at my right hand, I will not be shaken in what comes my way. 

Psalm 13:8 "Expect your theological boxes to explode, to lose all false hope in what My Love will provide in this life. We've built these thoughts that life should happen a certain way. And what happens when it doesn't? May we be shaken and stirred to find this new way of thinking. The abandoned life to Christ. Because He is God and we are not."  

God remembered. We are a remembered tribe. We may have forgotten about Him in the past 24 hours of difficulties or double hearts (Psaml 12:2). But, He has not forgotten us. God remembers ...

If I drop a piece of info into the right slot, would it be morally right?  Do I live by morals alone? 

"Here is the rub: one must be more zealous to please God than to avoid sin. One's obedience to God must be forward-oriented and zealous and free, and to be a mere moralist or pietist would make such a life impossible." Eric Metaxas. Oh! God, please give us strength to prepare the way to truly live free and let go of the bartering unaware. 

PHOTO: A monastery of days gone by on St. Margaret's Island in Budapest, Hungary. I stood on this spot and wondered how the monks here wrestled in war to cast their burdens, how to trust their God.

177 - "I Have Installed My King" Psalm 1-9

We open the book of Psalms. It's a Hand reaching out to grasp ours in the midst of our storms and tears and confusion and fears. I have assumed wrongly about life: I have wanted God to step in and rescue me from all my struggles with people and life. Relieve me of this oppression. Replace it with Rest. But what God did: He has used my Job experiences "to uncover a Rest beneath the struggle that no Anguish can destroy. The struggle with fear and pain will continue. Only in the storm will you know There is an Anchor." 66LL. This is not what my world tells me. My world wants me to have no struggles, no worries, no pain. If you do, people assume that you are: Not walking with God. Not trusting God. Not understanding God and His Goodness. Not in God's will. All of the Above. A friend said to me the other day: "Let's just be positive and trust God." Or, in other words: Let's just deny what is really going on. Ps 1:1 - Blessed is the man who doesn't walk in the counsel of his disillusioned friends but in Truth. Ps 2:6 - As for me, I have installed my King...I take Refuge in God not things working out. >Ps 3:3 - You, O LORD, are a Shield about me, the One Who lifts my head through t.h.i.s. PHOTO: The trees in front of Robyn's house in Pagosa Springs. Behind me, the San Juan Forest burning unexpectedly, uncontrollably, unnerving. Meditate on these psalms day and night.

176 - "Existential Questions: Who is God? What Is He Up To?" Job 41-42

Job's answer to his Lord forces us to deal with those existential questions: 

Who is God and what is He up to in Job's life; in my life; in your life.  

Job's Response:
"I have heard of you, God, by the hearing of the ear;
But now my eye sees You.  Job 42:5-6

Therefore, I 
Retract and I
Repent in Dust and Ashes.
When God comes up from behind and we sense His Presence
When God comes up through strangers unaware
When God comes up within and we know His Goodness,
When God comes up to surprise us to uncover His Goodness ...
and we learn that
We are not the Prosecuting Attorney.
God is not the Defendant. 
Nor does He need us to defend Him and
pretend that all is well even though He has allowed suffering.

"God extinguished all the lights that had been guiding Job on a pleasant path through life, in order to gain entrance into Job's heart with Light of His Presence."66LL Are we mad that God has nudged us off the pleasant path? There is only One Source. There is only One Light.  We want God to undo all our problems and steer us back to that pleasant path. But, God is uncovering His Beauty, His Presence in you and me.  So be it. Amen & Amen. 

PHOTO: A storm brewing in Pagosa Springs where we were met with God's Grace. July 3, 2023 

175 - "God Speaks Out of a Whirlwind Not A Spa" Job 38-40

And God speaks out of a whirlwind. To his child who lost 10 children. To his child who lost his health. To his child who lost his community. He sent a whirlwind not a spa. 

And God asks Job five dozen questions! "Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge...Job 38:2; Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?" Have you ever commanded the sun to rise and the morning stars sang? What am I doing in this little life of mine? Do I live with the awareness of a very Present God holding all things together, even me. Do I live with expectations for God to show up in soft whispers to a broken world. Do I believe that the abundant life of John 10:10 holds expectations of my own thinking. This is A God Who shows up in a whirlwind to a hurting, broken son of God. Nothing soft about this. Help me to see the reality of what stirs in the Whirlwind of my own soul this very day. Help me to see my own sin of demandingness that YOU come through for me. Give us eyes to see and ears to hear the Sound of your Voice from the Whispers to the Whirlwinds and all in-between. We are not the prosecutors in this life of ours. 

God is not the defendant. He is the king. 

May we learn to wrestle well; With hands over our classy sassy mouths. 

With hearts right over our clenched fists. 

With heads held high over our cluttered minds. 

Then Job answered the Lord:
      “I am unworthy—how can I reply to you?
I put my hand over my mouth.
Job 40:2-4
And God answers once again.
This time from a storm.

PHOTO: A whirlwind I was in, one time. 

174 - "Listen To Words That Matter For Your Life" Job 34-37

The ears test words like the tongue tastes food. Job 34:3-4. Let us discern together what is right and learn what is good. May we all listen to words that matter for our lives. Job 34:29 "if God is silent" ... then what? What stirs in you as we read chapter after chapter after chapter about a man who lost his 10 children? Job is trying to make sense of his suffering. Suffering with no explanation. Elihu explodes cause evidently the older generation should make sense of it all. What's his pull? What stirs in you? I keep thinking about how Job and his wife lost their 10 children and I wonder what God is saying to Job in his silence? I keep thinking of a very old quote: "The first step to sanctity is self-knowledge." Job is wrestling with what is really going on inside of him. "If we stay within the darkness, stick close to the Cross, through death we will come to know the God Who reveals Himself in the process of dying and renewal." Something beautiful is happening to Job on the inside. We know that because we know the rest of the story. Am I staying within my own darkness, sticking close to His Cross, and dying to my pride and fears so that He may reveal and renew my spirit. Have mercy on us, O God! God is speaking through His Word. What matters more than listening and living. It seems strange as we read this story that Job's friends could not see what was going on inside of their hearts. God spoke directly to their hearts in those days. They had no Word of God; held no pages to turn. How far was Ur from the Garden of Eden? How many stories had been passed along since Creation? All we know at this point is the Creation Story, Adam & Eve, Cain and Abel, the Tower of Babel. And then, a righteous man, in a far off city of Ur. A man accused of saying "my wound is incurable, though I am without transgression." Job 34:6. Where on earth was the compassion of these men? I mean, he lost 10 children. We are not punished for our sins. And there is truth in Job 32:8 that it is the spirit in man, the breath of the Almighty, that makes man understand. O God, help us to understand, to know wisdom, for the place where we sit this day. May we fall to our knees in prayer.

 

PHOTO:  Taken at a sultry sunset over Santa Rosa Island as I contemplated what trumps all this suffering.

173 - "What is the Measure of Our Expectations?" Job 30-33

Do I measure my life by my expectations of God? Love or Loss? Job 30:16

God did not forget to set the sun in the sky this morning or

close it down this evening.  

He has never forgot to be good to us.

It's just His Nature.  

In his myriad of struggles,
Job asks the same question that St. John of the Cross asked
when John faced ridicule, banishment, and suffering.
Where did you go, God? Are you hidden from me?
It's not an avant garde Christian question to ask in our day.
Your friends will think you lack faith.
Your family will question your stability.

But Job said it too:
What about the day
When the Almighty was yet with me. 
And my children were still all around me.
Can we go back to the good days?

I remember saying on the day I learned that I had cancer:
I liked the way my day started but not The End of the day.
So, what's the measurement for us? 
Was Job or John or even my statement aware of God working.

But the day of Affliction has seized me.
Job 30:16
And do we pound on God's door with questions?
What do we need?
Where is God?

We must desire what lies beyond our thoughts, our imagination, our good minds.
Desire will get us to God.  What prepares our souls better to find God again?
Our desires.  We desire too little.
"Growing means expanding our expectations;
or rather, making His Generosity, not our poverty,
the Measure of our Expectations." Iain Mathew The Impact of God.

Job still measured his life by his devastating losses.  Do I?

172 - Hold Fast” Job 25-29

                                                  

Job isn't recognized anymore by his friends or his community.  Job's reply:  Job 27:2 “As God lives, Who has taken away my right, and the Almighty, who has made my soul bitter, as long as my breath is in me, and the spirit of God is in my nostrils, my lips will not speak falsehood, and my tongue will not utter deceit."  

No hierarchy in God's Kingdom.  No big people and little people in Job’s day.  We are all his brothers and sisters and mothers. Jesus says in Matthew 12:49 that obedience is thicker than blood. Who are my mother and brothers? Not the hierarchy in the world in which I live! ... where I am not recognized nor sought after—-I feel forgoten and invisible most days ... but in God's Kingdom His Pursuit of me is relentless, inexpressible, incessant. Live to love not to be loved. Live to serve not to be served. 

Job 27:6 "Hold fast, my Righteousness." Hold fast, my Friend. As long as breath is in us. What is our hope when God cuts us off?  This we know, the Almighty is always doing us good, even in suffering.  Hold fast! Those two words mean a great deal to me. My counselor, Bruce, for 3 years frequently ended with “hold fast.” It’s what I remember. It’s a beautiful theme to live by. Hold Fast. I think of my bff Nancy who lost 18-year-old Drew in a tragic auto accident. That’s what she has done—-held fast to Him all the rest of her days. 

PHOTO:  It's one of my favorite spots on earth.  We are headed there on Friday. Clear Lake overlooking Mount Rainier.  And my heart h.e.r.e. overflows today as I bid my spot farewell and Turn Around to face some problems that I cannot articulate.  Overflowing with gratitude for I am more persuaded, more convinced, more oh-so-sure, that my God is fighting for me in Untold Unseen Ways

171 - “Does Our Redeemer Hold My Life?” Job 21-24

 

Does our Redeemer hold this sun in place? Does our Redeemer hold all things in our life? Job knew it. He knew God was everywhere. He knew prosperity did not depend on right living. 

"What would we gain if we entreat Him?" remarked Job to his accusers. Job 21:16 

Elphaz, a lousy friend, replies: "Is not your wickedness great, and your iniquities without end?" 

"I go forward, but he is not there, and backward, but I do not perceive Him; on the left hand when he is working, I do not behold him; he turns to the right hand, but I do not see him. But God knows the way that I take." Job 23:8 Such beauty from the heart of Job. Followed by a haughty confidence that Job will come out as gold. And it is that statement right here that Job will repent of uttering---that all his uprightness being tried by God will produce good gold. Oh, may we see what stirs within us. May we see what remains in our lives as permitted by a very Good God to drive me to Him as my Center, my Source, my All. God was silent to Job. The dark night of the soul. 

And Job continued to fall forward and sit before God in mystery. And Job is learning just like you and me to rest before God in trust of whatever He does.  Job knew way down deep that his suffering was not punishment for his sin that he could stop by living better. In our darkest nights, there is hope that awaits and invites us to love in ways we never knew. "When we cannot figure God out, we will give up the illusion of predictability and control and discover the joy and freedom of hope." 

Father, You never allow more suffering than necessary for our very best life. That's what the sages say. That's what I wrestle with. It's just hard to fathom how much as in the story of Job. Help this next generation to see things from your perspective. Help us all to live like this servant of yours who kept coming back to you day after day, wrestling with the deep things. 

170 - “I Know My Redeemer Lives” Job 17-20

 

Where Then Is My Hope?
Job still just wanted to die---where is that graveyard. 

I mean, he lost 10 children!

He is a "byword" not the beautiful people of the world.  No more.
And his friends want to know how long will he hunt for words.

Hang on, Job.

And Job replies: 

"For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: and though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God; whom I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall behold, and not another; though my reins be consumed within me."—Job 19:25-27.

"Oh that my words were now written! Oh that they were printed in a book! That they were graven with an iron pen and lead in the rock for ever!" Oh Job! Did you realize we would be reading t.h.e.s.e. words thousands of years later. You made it in the book of all books, the One breathed by God. Job 19:25-27 For I know that my Redeemer lives and that He will stand upon the earth One Day. I shall see God for myself. My eyes shall behold Him, the Day we all live for. Yes, Job, your words are memorialized forever using iron pens.

Engraved words. Engraved on the Palms of His Hands for you and for me. Telling words.  Most scholars agree that it was not a messianic prophecy---I just went and read 3 different commentaries by Longman and Baker and Watson.  . Your redemption draws nigh, Job. All of our redemption does.  Lift up your eyes to the Light, the Comforter of the world. He will deliver you, Job. He will deliver me. And He will stand on our behalf before the world. World upon end. Until then. Hold fast, Job. Hold fast, my soul. These weighty words are forever words. My Redeemer Lives!

In regards to the Book of Job not being a messianic prophecy, I loved what Tremper Longman said in his commentary about Job: Longman believed that Job strongly desired and expected to meet God before Job died.  The words suggest that they will not be "strangers" when they meet.  Job wanted a face-to-face meeting with God.  The thought of it makes Job faint.

PHOTO:  Taken from a bridge across the Arkansas River as I reflected upon what it means to accept those things here on earth that should never be.  Yes, we do know, Our Redeemer Lives!

169 - “Though He Slay Me, I Will Trust Him” Job 13-16

 

It was in the beginning of time that Job lived.

Not the wealth of stories that we have about God, 

Who walked the earth.

Job had worked hard to raise 10 kids and lead them well; 

He worked hard on the land.

Job's friend has no mercy on him.  Zophar tells a man who just lost his 10 children that he did not get what he deserved.  Job is not in shock, not disconnecting, ... No, the man is wrestling with his overwhelming pain.  Job is asking God in Job 13:23:  How many are my sins?  Make me know my sins!  His deep heart-wrenching thoughts are coming from a good place in his heart yet some thoughts like Job 13:3 cannot possibly be from a good place:  "I want to speak to the Almighty and I desire to argue my case with God." Can we really argue with God?  So what's the point here?  There are both good and bad residing in our hearts at the same time. 

How beautiful that Job is leaning, falling forward, on the Almighty.  He knows his limits.  "Though He slay me, I will hope in Him, yet I will argue my ways to His Face."  Job 13:15.  There it is again.  Such Good!  Such Bad! 

And what touches me is that God calls us in this passage to withhold our judgment on man.  Let the Almighty judge Job, not Zophar, not me.  We are to move in love into people's lives, not trying to straighten them out.  Zophar judged a suffering Job.  But the question arises even today.  If bad things happen to you continually, like Job, you must be doing something wrong.  What beauty pours out from Job's lips in the midst of his confusion and chaos when he says:  "I will trust Him," ...  No matter what God does---and here is a man who has suffered immense loss.  Job knows something of the Greatness of God that most do not.  Let us strive not to be "worthless physicians" (Job 13:4)  helping others with our platitudes of words and actions that really don't mean that much.  Let us say with Job:  I will trust you God in this present circumstance that I am in, this very day.

PRAYER FROM PSALMS

Father,Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You preserve my life. You stretch out Your Hand against the anger of my foes; with Your Right Hand, You will save me.  Thank you so much.  I trust that you will perfect that thing that concerns me this very day, these very circumstances You have allowed. Psa 138:7-8

168 - “God Uses Troubles To Uncover Rest” Job 9-12

  

Job 9:13 How can mere mortals get right with God?  Job 9:20 God wins, hands down.  So what's the point?

 Job 10:2 "How does this fit into what you once called 'good'? Giving me a hard time---how is that good, God?  Job, like the rest of us, believes "God should relieve his struggles and replace it with rest. But God uses struggle to uncover a rest beneath the struggle that no anguish can destroy." 66 LL. Job's foolish understanding of the road to find real life is not right.  My understanding is what I have to deal with this day, this set of circumstances.  Foolish Understanding!  So throw the anchor over in the midst of my storm and it will hold true.  There is an Anchor in my raging storm.  I just want the storm to go away instead of a sure and steady Anchor in my mess.  Remember Crabb's quote in the First Love Letter---"You must now live between Anguish and Hope." 

What beautiful faith in Job pushing through his suffering.  Even his friend alludes that Job has small beginnings (whoever called thousands of sheep and donkeys and ten children SMALL?) and his latter days would be great.  Prophetic.  Meaningless to Job at the moment.  Job has not forgotten about God.  His flesh just doesn't want to face all that suffering.  I can't wrap my brain around losing all ten of my children on the same day.  Job says in 9:28 that he has become afraid of his suffering.  Wouldn't he be tempted with---what next?  It is a "land of darkness and deep shadows" for Job.  Even though he knows so much about God, Job recognizes that God passes him by and Job sees him not (Job 9:11).  And the same for me.  May we not miss you, Our Good God, passing us by this day in our suffering be it great or small.

PHOTO:  California. Who knocked down my house of cards?  God did.  And it was good.  Very good. 

167 - "So Ruined. So Loved. So Little." Job 5-8

                 

My. Life. Has. No. Hope. Job 7:1-6. Are not our days like the days of a hired hand? How did Job get to that place? If his calamities were laid in the balances, his distress loomed heavier than his sin, like all of the sands. How do we measure what happens to us? Ten children buried beneath this hard life. Grieving. Now carrying sickness unto death. And a wife saying, just curse God. My. Life. Has. No. Hope. Who will say to God: "What are you doing?" Is there not anyone who can adjudicate? No Mediator? No Arbitrator? No Judge? Then, There is no New Testament. But wait, We know the Light. We know the Mediator. Hold fast. Hold us fast. There. Is. So. Much. Hope. "If I were going to begin practicing the presence of God for the first time today, it would help to begin by admitting the three most terrible truths of our existence: that we are 1. so ruined, and 2. so loved, and 3. in charge of so little.” Anne Lamott, Three Essential Prayers. Father, we are all so ruined by sin. And there is so much hope for that ruin for our Mediator ever lives. Father, we are so loved. And there is so much to live for even with ten buried children and I wince and weasel as I write for I know not that kind of ginormous pain. Father, we are in charge of so little. The fact that You do anything for us is amazing. Job could not remember his past---one of the greatest and holiest men on the entire earth. Seems like everyone forgot his past. Help us today to live remembering what You have done for us and how we got to the place where we are today. 

 PHOTO: The Quarries Lake in north Austin, Texas. I put Romans 8:38 on a slip of paper in this message bottle and laid it on the shore. "Not this p.r.e.s.e.n.t. thing can s.e.p.a.r.a.t.e. me from the Love of God. Was struggling with the loss of material things---didn't Job? August 2010 we packed up everything we owned and put it in a 10X20 Public Storage unit. Haven't opened the storage door since. It's been 14 years.

166 - "Unoaded of Everything" Job 1-4

                                                  

Here is a man who was unloaded of every conceivable thing he had worked so hard to attain.  Yet, Job humbled himself under the hand of God.  "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the Name of the Lord."  Job 1:21.   

Job was honest inside and out, a man of his word, who was totally devoted to God and hated evil with a passion.  The most influential man in all the East! It was God Who said to Satan, "Have you noticed my friend Job? There's no one quite like him—honest and true to his word, totally devoted to God and hating evil."Again, Satan strikes---do you think Job does all of that out of sheer goodness?  Job 1:11 "But what do you think would happen if you reached down and took away everything that is his? He'd curse you right to your face, that's what."  God replied, "do what you want with all that is his."  So many people have trouble saying God causes evil but God invited evil to do a work in Job. 

God knows something I know not. 

"When you stand before Me in mystery, you will eventually rest within Me in trust.  When you can't figure me out, you will give up the illusion of predictability and control and discover the joy and freedom of hope."  Larry Crabb. Am I really broken over my own demand for satisfaction in my life, my ideas of control, managing what God is saying to me, life on my terms?  If I live broken over my demandingness, I will live in gratitude and rest.  

God interrupts my life a whole lot. He has been oh so faithful to me. I am reading Matthew 7 and God interrupts in verse 7. You have been judging others: you have been bent on changing your husband, your adult kids, your friends. God interrupts and says: Ask. Seek. Knock Matthew 7:7. Intense words. 

PHOTO:  Unloaded of every person, every animal, every piece of wood, every appearance of health. 

165 - "Everything Is Under Divine Providence" Esther 8-10

                     

Oh, the grandeur of King Ahasuerus.  The epitome of treasures on earth.
And none of these riches will go with us.  Esther 8:2.  Not one thing.
Esther knew when she said "If I perish, I perish..."
She knew that she would take with her something far more precious than this life.  Her tears were for her people not for herself.  Esther knew.  Is there Something I am missing in this life that I clutch too tightly?

Divine Providence rules through the Book of Esther.
Nothing escapes God's notice.
He was preparing Mordecai to rise up even when the king couldn't sleep.
The king could order 127 provinces.
The king could not order one hour of his own sleep.
God forces us every night to rest, whether we want it or not. 
It is not our choice.  We are held in His Divine Care.
"That which will break proud Haman's heart willl not break humble Morechai's sleep." M. Henry.
Divine Care is written all through the script.
What do I not know this day of Divine Providence over my life that I must consider?

PHOTO: Colorado. Everything is in His Divine Care.

164 - "Christianity Is A Redemptive Plan To Make People Better in This Life" Esther 4-7

164 Christianity is a social policy to make life better on this earth rather than a redemptive plan to make people better in this life. Is it going well in this only life you have to live?     

                                                                   

Huge Wealth. Stunning Splendor. Isn't that today's world. People want to be somebody on this earth. "Every man is master of his own house; whatever he says, goes." That's what the king ordered. Wonder why Persia didn't take the opportunity to return "home" to Judah. They "preferred the comforts a well-established secular lifestyle could provide." Sounds way-too-familiar! So they put pressure on the beautiful women to show up. That's not right. What about those of us with redemptive dignity who aren't glamour-filled---would we have made it in Persia? "Are they---or even am I---even interested in real holiness, in what You call holiness? Or are we mistaking tolerance and niceness and spiritual experiences for the deep change in the human soul that You desire? Most of us seem to think Christianity is a moral and social policy to make life better for people rather than a redemptive plan for making people better in this life." I am so grateful to God for His moving into my life in the midst of some suffering a few years ago to help me to really deal with deep change and let HIM change me way down deep as only He can. Ask my husband, my son who was still living at home, some of my friends, and they will tell you that I'm not who I was---and I'm on my face in gratitude. And I still have a long way to go but I have hope! So, like all of us, we sometimes ask Crabb's question; Is Your plan going well or not? What about about Plan B. Is it going well in my life, in your life?  His Plan A? Or am I wrestling with all those Plan B's that surprise me and crop up? Radical Repentance.`The Providence of God has raised you up to your story this day. Plan A. "For such a time as this." 

We may never live in a palace. We may never be called a queen. Does this kind of beauty hold happiness we know not? They were just as much at unrest as the lowly. Ahasuerus thought way too much of himself, his kingdom. There is such a compelling story in this book of Esther. To what end has God called us? Consider why He has left you where you are.

PHOTO: Grandchildren in Texas. Plan A? Plan B? They have no idea of the measurement of wealth.

163 - "Consider Why God Has Left You Where You Are" Esther 1-3

 

                                                            

We may never live in a palace. 

We may never be called a queen. 

Does this kind of beauty hold happiness we know not? 

They were just as much at unrest as the lowly. Ahasuerus thought way too much of himself, his kingdom. There is such a compelling story in this book of Esther. To what end has God called us? Consider why He has left you where you are.

PHOTO: Walking the beach considering why God has left me with little notoriety to retire in Fort Worth with one friend.

162 - "Left Behind in the Wake of Providence" Nehemiah 13

                                                                   

"Remember me, O my God, for good." Nehemiah 13:31
It's just too good to be true.  A surprising deliverance of God's people out of such terrible distress.  Most likely the author of Psalm 126 is Ezra himself according to commentaries.  They have just experienced what is penned as the "most remarkable captivity" in history to date.  

Psalm 126
The Song of Ascents---repeated twice cause it is doubly good.
A Calling to be thankful and it can be applied to our own lives.  Psalm 126:3.
The harps hanging from the willow trees are pulled down.
"Providence pipes to them, and they dance."  M. Henry
A turning again.  And the people "thought ourselves like men that dream."
Mouths filled with laughter.
Tongues slipping out singing.
Hearts full vent to joy.
Glory to God.
And some rejoicing is with trembling,
for they bear on the sleeve of their hearts the "grievances that were yet to be redressed."
We are changed in a twinkling of an eye.
Yet, we must work out our salvation with fear and trembling.
For no change is overnight news.
May all of us who have been left behind in the wake of Providence,
may we turn again to God to perfect our salvation. 

"The beginnings of mercy are encouragements to us to pray for the completing of it."
Come Lord Jesus.
The tears themselves are the seeds we must sow.
Sow in tears; reap in joy.
"Those who sow in the tears of godly sorrow shall reap in the joy of a sealed pardon and a settled peace."  M. Henry

Wherever we find ourselves as we close these New Testament words today, O God, have mercy on our  souls.  And may Your mercy be the beginning of great encouragement today that You are present and completing our salvation for each of us.  Do Your Perfect Work.  May we sow the tears we've launched.  May we reap the joy we know not. 

PHOTO: The full harvest moon outside our window tonight. The setting sun closed the pages on the Old Testament. 300 years pass by. It’s a new moon. 

161 - "The Sound of Rejoicing Heard Far Away" Nehemiah 11-12

 Remember me, O God, 

and have compassion on me

 according to the Greatness of Your Love. Nehemiah knew in his heart that he was doing a great work for God, brick by brick, little by little. What's so beautiful about Nehemiah is that his heart was broken for the things that matter. It wasn't for himself, his own suffering. His heart broke for the people and the preservation of their holiness. Nehemiah did a great work. Yet, not too long after that, Nehemiah finds the people not taking worship seriously. Personal Gain. Personal Peace. Personal Affluence. Nehemiah was sustained by God and kept on persuading the people to repent. And, he dealt with his own heart so beautifully. "And what stirs you most deeply? Is it advancing your plan for your life or My plan for My world? Is it finding a way to get your spouse to understand how abandoned you feel or revealig the character of My Son as you deal with your troubled marriage? Is is a concern to live as comfortably as possible in the immediate mess or to live out your calling to be holy in the midst of the mess? 66LL. Remember me, this day, O God!

"The sound of rejoicing in Jerusalem could be heard far away." Neh 12:43. They were so happy to be protected. 

PHOTO:  Taken in Texas on a friend's lovely farm. Rejoicing. 

160 - “Tender to the Word of God” Nehemiah 9-10

                                                                

Live in the tension. Revive us, O God, in your ways, the psalmist once said. “We will not neglect the house of our God.” Neh 10:39.  No hidden agendas in this crowd. All about advancing the Kingdom of God. Not about advancing own agendas. What stirs in me most deeply? Is it advancing God's Kingdom or my own? Is it about putting closure on these financial problems I have or revealing the character of God in the midst of them? Is it about getting people to recognize you, understand you, accept you into the "in" crowd or is it about revealing the Beautiful God for whom we live. 2,000 years pass and it's the same questons: Will you neglect the house of God? Will you neglect the temple of the Holy Spirit living in you? 

They were so tender to the Word of God ... they cried when it was read.
I just love that! And I so want that!
That I would cry more over the Word than over my circumstance.
And God said, don't grieve.
The joy of the Lord is your strength.
It is the strength that comes from knowing Him and His Word.
Make it your chief study again cause I need the Strength
that only He can give.  I just hit another low! 

159 - "Don't Make It Relevant, Make It Real" Nehemiah 7-8

Whether it is raining in our hearts, torrential rains,
Or if the clouds are pulled back for a day.
God has all of this set in motion for our gain.
May we so surrender to Divine Providence and His Way. 

Nehemiah comes back to Jerusalem after he finishes building the wall. He has a great calling to build a city, not just a wall. Nehemiah 7:16. "Nehemiah knew that the safety of a city, under God, depends more upon the inhabitants than upon its walls." M.Henry. Nehemiah knew their biggest enemy was not on the other side of the wall but in their sinful hearts. Let us guard against sin. Let us guard against living for this present world. When did we start having to make things relevant to reach people? When did we start having to entertain people to draw them in? Lower the lights, soften the music, make the message relevant, and whatever do you, don't offend the churchgoers. Wondering this Sabbath Day what God thinks of all that is going on in the name of Christianity in our world today? Let's deal with our own hearts this Sabbath. Finish our own wall. Guard against our own sin. The Lord is near.

PHOTO: Torrential rains or pulled back clouds, God has set it all in motion. Make it real.

158 - "Put God's Name on Every Face You Meet" N

There is a relationship that I am wrestling through where I want someone to change for their good.  I'm so adamant that they are wrong and I believe I am right.  But that's not the issue anymore.  What stirs me from this book is that I must reveal to them the character of our Good God and not try to move them to change by my words, my prayers, my actions.  Of course, I should hope and pray for their good, their transformation, with all my heart. But I'm so stuck on them changing that I've become unbecomingly arrogant and quietly demanding. Back in the close of the Book of Ezra, Crabb wrote:  "There's always a way back from sin.  Tears of hope will flow every time you experience My Loving Mercy when you fail...Ezra's burden for holiness led to tears of repentance."  What deeply disturbs me?  What are these tears that flow?  Tears of Hope?  Tears of Repentance?  I think they might be tears of pain. 

Nehemiah 7:5 - God put this in Nehemiah's heart to assemble the people.  So, Nehemiah rebuilt the wall and set the doors in place, then he assembled priests, and gatekeepers, and musicians.  He took this ministry to the utmost place.  A common wall around an unimpressive city around a tiny town population around blue collar people.  Surrounded by mocking laughs and words to which Nehemiah replied:  "I am doing a great work."  Neh 6:3.

157 - "Brick by Brick for the Little Broken People" Nehemiah 1-3

                                                              

It may be small, brick by brick, but it's a great work. Nehemiah 1:6 - Oh God! Let your ears be attentive and your eyes be open to the prayers we offer you this day. Nehemiah heard about a broken down wall and prayed. What is broken in our lives? What does God keep hearing us say over and over and over, do not stop, O God! I love it that Nehemiah moved forward and built a wall.nAnd Nehemiah thought he was doing a "great work" for God. Whatever we do out of sincere hearts to know You and make You known---it is a great work, a great privilege. May we be more concerned with the little great works we are doing than what we are receiving. May we be more concerned with loving others than what they are doing to us. May we be more concerned with advancing God's Kingdom than managing our lives well. Psalm 25:15-16 ~ O God, Our eyes are ever on You. You can release my feet from the snare that I am in.  Trapped. Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me, from myself and from my sin, from what I want. O God, hear these out-loud words of mine.

Cup-bearer to the King of Persia.  Nehemiah lived in luxury.  Wanting for nothing.  The good life.  A place of honor, sitting next to the King.  

Yet.
He never forgot the suffering of his people.  He heard of it.  He went for it.  He responded to it.
What can I do this day to show kindness to you?  We all have problems---we live with ourselves, we know it.  When a noble reaches down to a commoner, he makes the heart of God glad.  No respecter of persons here.  No big people and little people for Nehemiah.  Just a very big heart for his God.

So.
He inquires about how they are really doing.  Makes me want to go inquire.
And as soon as he hears, he presents his first application to God not man:  Nehemiah 1:4 As soon as I heard these words I sat down and wept and mourned for days, and I continued fasting and praying before the God of heaven.

PHOTO:  The Great Divide in my life.  I will remember this story of Nehemiah 1 forever.  It's a pivotal point for me.  Another great divide of longing to pray.  Present your 1st application to God not man.

156 - "We Blush For Our Iniquities Have Risen Higher" Ezra 10

This is the city where I live, Austin

All our days are made up of brief moments.

May they be brief moments of grace shown by God.

God has appointed our times and places.

He is giving us a peg in His Holy Place opening eyes.

Dear God, We can be swept away by terrors in a moment. We can be filled with grace in that same one. Come Lord Jesus in our brief moments of this life You have appointed. Show us this day in the city where we live, a brief moment of grace.

There is Hope for our Sin. Ezra 10:2.  Oh my goodness.  This so speaks to me right where I am today.  I may be 10 percent wrong in an argument, a disagreement, an exchange---however---if they are 90 percent wrong, I can only deal with myself.  And God says it right here...hope for our sin.

“O my God, I am ashamed and blush to lift my face to you, my God, for our iniquities have risen higher than our heads, and our guilt has mounted up to the heavens.  From the days of our fathers to this day we have been in great guilt.  Ezra 9:6.  And the LORD listened to them.  That's it.  God is listening to me this evening as I want to give up on Christmas and it hasn't even happened yet.  What am I really saying?  Sometimes, I think I'm saying that the pain is too great.  And just how did I get to this place?

 “The hand of our God is for good on all who seek him, and the power of his wrath is against all who forsake him.” We will never forsake our God.  So, what's the alternative----either God's Hand is on us or not.  And His Hand is on each of us this day for good.  I have to believe that.

Ezra made confessions. Begged forgiveness.
Ezra 10:1
Therein lies the beauty of his obedient life.

Father, here is a telling story of Your mercy and kindness and love toward the life of this Ezra.  May we apply ourselves to study the Word, to do the Word, to teach the Word.  Help us this day dig deep within to make confession to you for missing the mark.  Oh God, we long for Your Hand on our lives.  Acceptance with peace for what You have gifted our way.  I'm so shaken tonight by my own mess.  Help us find a beautiful hope to press in, press on.

PHOTO: The city where I live. Austin. Peg by peg. Hope for our sin.

155 - "Don't Make Over Others to Get Them to Like You" Ezra 8-9

Ezra 9:2 "The leaders led the way in this betrayal."  The exiles were plunged into a sea of joy in one chapter praising God, then in chapter 9, they are betraying the God they just exuberantly praised.  This band of escapees entered and embraced the lives of those who are not holy.  Ezra's response?  Ezra 9:3 When I heard all this, I ripped my clothes and my cape; I pulled hair from my head and out of my beard; I slumped to the ground, appalled.

Ezra prayed. 
Ezra fasted.  
Ezra wept.  
HE listened.
God, You allowed this battered band to get a firm foothold.  
God, You put us in good graces and gave us a heart to restore The Temple.  
But, Ezra 9:10 says:  "We have thrown your commands to the wind even though the prophets said, 'Don't cultivate their good opinion; don't make over them and get them to like you...don't build your own money and a tidy estate.' "  Don't I cultivate the good opinions of others?  Do I make over them to get them to like me?  What's beneath that?  I think about pursuing a full-time job soon and find myself  "making over" others because the job market is not in my favor. What do I want more than my Christ?  A job.   Can I just trust HIM and know HE doesn't need my help to make others holy.  Faithful is HE Who called and HE will do it.  HE is looking to restore repentant hearts.

PHOTO:  Ezri and Bev at Disney World this year.  Oh my!  I want you to like me so bad, Ezri!  I want my world to like me, way too much.  I'll even barter to get then to like me.  I have to give this up. These verses have my name all over it.  God does not need my help to deal with other people and their responses.  Let it go.  

154 - "Make Confessions" Ezra 6-7

               

Meanwhile.
This Ezra...
Skilled in the Law of Moses.
The Hand of the Lord his God was on Him.
Ezra 7:6

Yes, the Good Hand of his God was on him.
Ezra 7:9
For Ezra set his heart
to study the Law of the Lord,
and to do it & to teach God's Word in Israel.
Ezra 7:10

Father, here is a telling story of Your mercy and kindness and love toward the life of this Ezra.  May we apply ourselves to study the Word, to do the Word, to teach the Word.  Help us this day dig deep within to make confession to you for missing the mark.  Oh God, we long for Your Hand on our lives.  Acceptance with peace for what You have gifted our way.  I'm so shaken tonight by my own mess.  Help us find a beautiful hope to press in, press on.

PHOTO: The Word:  Study. Do. Teach. Live. Love.

153 "Don't Offer Principles and Insights; Offer A Redeemer" Ezra 3-5

           

Ezra 4:4-5 The Samaritans reared up their ugly heads at the building of the temple.  Satan shows up to discourage and undermine and bribe those who want to do good.  These returned revived revelers were beautiful exiles and so full of joy.  But, they were so targeted by the enemy of their souls.  Let us remember that that the god of this world seeks to devour our attempts to walk and worship.  He is out looking for good intentions.  And our fatal flaw is not looking into our own souls when opposition bombards our temples.  

We are all looking for a Redeemer.  But the nails and mortar and curtains and boards trap us into finding our worship on paths that are going straight to destruction---like the offer of these Samaritans. "We must not offer people a system of redemption, a set of insights and principles. We offer people a Redeemer."  Paul David Tripp

The Redeemer in the New Testament. Seeing the face of Christ dazzled Paul to the things of Another Country. It took his eyes off of this world and what he was doing to make this world work. Dazzled by the Holy One. Blinded and offered eternal hope. And Paul cooperated to the fullest extent with the One Who held his hand. Acts 9:9

Who are You, Lord?" asks Saul in Acts 9:5---this one who asks is:
the unmerciful young man who applauded Stephen's stoning, 7:58
the proud Pharisee who wreaked hail and havoc on the church, 8:3
the heartless blasphemer whose very breath slew slaughter, thrashed threats, 9:1.
No one would believe that this wretch could now be a follower.

Now.
"A chosen vessel unto God."  Acts 9:15.
And I weep.
I weep for myself
who has been saved from myself.
I weep for my children
who need to be saved from themselves.
I weep for us all.
That we may bear The Name.
"This Signal Token of the Divine Favor of God, 
by inward working of His Grace" (M. Henry)
in all of us!

We all admire things on this earth more than God.
We all want things more than we want God.

That's evident of the problem of man.

PHOTO: Graffiti in Austin. The graffiti of our soul. What words will we write today in this story we live.

152 - "Don't Look for Coaches; Look for Elders to Lead You Into The Presence of God" Ezra 1-2

 

1:1 "In the first year of Cyrus, King of Persia, God prodded Cyrus King of Persia to make an official announcement throughout his kingdom." God stirred up Cyrus to permit any willing Israelite to return HOME after 70 years of Babylonian captivity.  I just wept as I read names of clans of over 50,000 people who had been held captive.  There's something in me that is moved when I hear of captives like my friend Cyd and her driver were taken captive and murdered in Afghanistan --- and her body was just sent back to the U.S. from Afghanistan, 15+ years later. These 50,000+ stable people of substance (remember how they didn't take the very poor captive but allowed them to work the land) are on their way home.  Oh my!  Restored physically.  But there already has been a spiritual restoration or they wouldn't come home to praise God like they have!  Ezra 3:11 "God is good; He will never quit loving us."

As we close the book of 2 Chronicles, we find a restored people in the book of Ezra longing for holiness, His Presence.  Something happened to them in captivity---"suffering is necessary until evil is finally banished...suffering opens the holy space in your soul that will be filled only when you're dancing with Me..."  66 LL.  And I'm reminded of Crabb's quote that ended the chapter:  "Don't look for experts to coach you in how to make your life work before you follow elders who will lead you into My Presence."  What are we really looking for in life?  "I want My people to know this:  if even in small ways you live to 'fix your life,' to arrange for your own pleasure in ways that violate holiness, your love for a better life now will eventually corrupt your love for Me."  66 LL.  The question Jesus will ask in about 400 years comes to mind:  John 1:38 - "What do you seek?"  What do I seek this day?

Ezra 3:11 - And they sang responsively, praising and giving thanks to the Lord,

“For he is good,
for his steadfast love endures forever toward Israel.”

And all the people shouted with a great shout when they praised the Lord, because the foundation of the house of the Lord was laid. But the old men wept loud. Duplicity of voices coming out of captivity. What it must have felt like.

And Jeremiah's prophecy lives. And the prophets reign while the crowns fall off the head of kings. And these dry bones live again, love again. 

What about my own dry bones.

 Have we inquired of God today to come alive, stay alive. 

What stirs in my heart tonight?   Ezra 3:13

So much joy in my heart---it is God, if you only knew my circumstances.
It's the end of another year and a time of reflection.
I am so overwhelmed with what God has done in my life this year.
Col. 1:29 - What stirs in us?  The Power of the Energy of Christ,
if we just let it be. 
God stirred Ezra to rebuild the temple.
When they saw the foundation laid,
the people wept.  Loud!  Wonder why?
They loved Someone more than the blessings.
The priests and Levites, people who so desired to be holy,
they wept so hard, it was indistinguishable.
What beautiful passion if it was for God and not for themselves.
Who knows?
But I come back to the question . . .
What stirs in me today?
It's been one of the best years of my life.
And we've been stripped of quite a few things.
Stripped and filled by God. 
Oh, to live like Ezra did:
"Ezra was deeply distressed by My people's compromise
more than by their troubles.  His burden for holiness led to tears
of repentance and to his refusal to eat or drink as he grieved
My people's evil."  66LL
Oh, to live like that.

PHOTO:  A tiny country church. Wish it were my husband’s church.

151 - "Urged To Return to God and Move Forward" 2 Chronicles 34-36

151 Sitting on a dock in a bay ... reflecting on moral evils vs. natural evils. II Chronicles 36:22 The Lord stirred up the spirit of Cyrus, King of Persia, and put His Words in his mouth.  May the Lord be with each of us and let him go up.

The chronicles of these kings are heart wrenching.  So many lived for themselves. The words of 66LL resonate deeply in II Chronicles.  God wants me to think more about how I relate to Him and others more  than how to get my life together.  He wants me to look deep inside, look into my motives, look to see if I am really looking out for myself when I think I'm living for God. 

"There is an evil greater than bombs, tsunamis, and cancer.  Those are natural evils.  But when people live to get their own way, when they determine what is good for them and live to get it, all hell breaks loose within and between them...frenzied grabs for happiness with no concern for how others are impacted, more interest in making one's point than listening to another's, the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival, ugly parodies of community-like courtesy without connection, laughter without love---these are moral evils" (Gal 5:19-21 The Message.  

Psalm 81:10

O, God, open our mouths and fill them with Yourself.  

All those plans that we inwardly demand happen, 

help us to see where we live for ourselves.

O, God, may we listen today well.
And recognize Your stirrings.
Not our will but Yours.
Nor our own plans
Have Mercy!
Col 1:29

2 Chronicles 36:13 Zedekiah, one more evil king, never gave God a thought; repentance never entered his mind. What do I do on days like today when repentance doesn't enter my mind?  When was the last time I repented? I have been consumed today with how my family and friends do not value me as a person---how very little interest they show in my life; how very little interest they have to spend time with me, much less just pick up the phone and call. I have thought only of myself today. It is quite lonely when you are older and community dwindles. I hope to find a church in our new move back to Fort Worth. But more than anything, I hope to return to God to live for Him in the midst of what I perceive as unreturned love---probably most of it really is. 

I LOVE how today's reading ends in 2 Chronicles 36:23 - "All who belong to God's people are urged to return—and may your God be with you! Move forward!"  

PHOTO:  The Dock where I go to pray.

150 - "The Lord Sent An Angel" 2 Chronicles 31-33

                                                               

King Hezekiah faced harsh words from the king of Assyria. 

Blasphemy. Terror on every side. 

So 

What did Hezekiah do?

He prayed "because of this"

And cried to heaven. 2 Chron 32:20

And what did God do?

The unimaginable. For them. For us. 

"The Lord sent an angel 

Who cut off all the mighty warriors & commanders & officers

In the camp of the king of Assyria. 2 Chron 32:21

In truth, The Lord saved Hezekiah from

The hand of all of his enemies

"And he provided for them on every side." 2 Chron 32:22

Won't He do the same for us?

You did this centuries ago. You can do it this day, too. For my friend who lost her husband today. For my child who is in a hard place. For my friend who just lost her teen-age boy. For my husband who embraces impossible odds. Send an angel, Lord. 

PHOTO:  A dark day in Florida when the heavens opened up. Whatever darkness we face, may our first words be prayer. 

149 - "The Sovereign Winds are Blowing---Set Your Sail Accordingly" 2 Chronicles 28-30

We can appear religious and be far from it. 

These Israelites were dead serious!  

Reminds me of today's suicide bombers with ISIS.

Selling themselves.

Sacrificing their sons and daughters.

Oh my!

The Israelites followed kings not the King. 

They became faithless not full of faith.
They practiced secrets not surrender/

"And the people of Israel did secretly against the Lord their God things that were not right."  

2 Chronicles 28:3 Infamous Ahaz —incredibly! indulged in the outrageous practice of "passing his sons through the fire."  That is unbelievable.  Verse 19 says:  Arrogant King Ahaz, acting as if he could do without God's help, had unleashed an epidemic of depravity. I have been thinking a lot about our moral choices.  We read the Charity chapter in Mere Christianity in class on Friday.  When I led the discussion, one student responded that Lewis' words proved "love is a choice."  But we must always allow God to reveal the motives and intentions of our hearts as we love.  Sin is way more than just making a wrong choice to not love or do the wrong thing.  

It brings to mind a quote from Crabb:  "Sin is more than wrong choices, more than bad behavior, more than wrong understanding.  And it is not a reaction to felt need that deserves tender compassion and patience.  Sin cannot be explained, but it can be defined.  Sin is defiantly walking past the living water God provides in relationship with Himself and proudly digging wells with one's own resources in the futile and foolish hope of providing for oneself the water needed for a meaningful and secure life."  Jeremiah 2:9 -13

John Piper calls it "sweet idolatries in which the longing heart embraces the wrong satsifaction."  What are my deep satisfactions this night?  Is it my children responding right to me?  Is it my husband not "missing" me?  Is it my friends responding like I want them to?  Is it life going my way? Is it my God coming through for me?  What do I most want?

PHOTO:  The Hill Country of Texas. 

148 - "Seek Not Great Things for Yourself" 2 Chronicles 25-27

What does our world look like?

The sins of the kings that went before King Uzziah was that of turning their back on God---

forsaking the things of God.  But, this King embraced the things of God.  

But, he wanted them a little too much.  A little too high.  

Uzziah enters the Holy of Holies with pride.  Seeking what God has not given.  

Forbidden Knowledge.  

Why do I seek a door God has not opened. 

 "But when Uzziah became strong," his heart became corrupt, 

and he did things he should not have done. II Chron 26:16. 

 Uzziah. Pride of heart. 

Live the Life that is before you---what God has called you to.

 Seek not great things for yourself.

Two Verses jump off the pages of today's reading:

2 Chronicles 26:16 - "But then Uzziah's strength and success went to his head. Arrogant and proud, he fell. One day, contemptuous of God, he walked into The Temple of God like he owned it and took over, burning incense on the Incense Altar.   

2Chronicles 27:8 -  "Jotham's strength was rooted in his steady and determined life of obedience to God."

Is life about our choices?  Do we really just choose to serve God and it happens.  Do we really just choose to love others and it happens? Am I really trying to choose to make the best out of what has been handed to me in this world?  Of course obedience is a choice---Joshua 24:15 - Choose this day whom you will serve...as for me and my house.  But there is Mystery in God moving His Plan forward.  One of my favorite quotes from 66 LL follows:  "No matter how great your path or how confusing and intense your suffering, live in the Mystery of My Love.  Struggle to trust Me.  Do not live with the priority of making your life in this world as good as you can make it.  You will suffer, at times unfairly, but you will be given what you need to enter strongly and wisely with Supernatural Love into every circumstance you face."  I've spent way too much of my life living with a priority of making my life as good as I can make it.  So what is God calling me to "let go of" where my priorities actually reflect a drivenness to accept my lot and make it as good as I can?  I've struggled lately with feelings of not being wanted---my perception, my interpretation from constructive feedback.  So do I deal with that by making my priority to make my life as good as I can in light of the pull on my life?  Romans 7:24---oh no.  Someone is setting me free from this mess I am in, praise God!