181 - "Like Lazarus, Awake My Soul" Psalm 31-35

Psalm 35:22 Please hear my voice as I cry for mercy. Psalm 31:22 Just like Lazarus, awaken my soul to see life again. Just like Lazarus, send people my way to unbind what I cannot. Thank you, God, for the invitation to pray without ceasing. Is there ever a prayer that is unanswered. No. God answers all of them---it's just that maybe the answer we hoped for; or it is not the one we receive;the timing we require is revealed to be our will not His. In John 11:41 ~ Jesus lifts up his eyes and says, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this on account of the people standing around, that they may believe that you sent me. Lazarus had been dead for 4 days. Did anyone really believe that God would bring him back to life? If we ask, He will answer. Don't be silent. Please be near to me. 

PHOTO: Eatonville, Washington. The street where the Morgans and Brandons once lived.

180 - “Live the Confusion in My Presence Psalm 23-30

 

God promises to guide me through the Right Path.

Whatever I walk through this season and even overall, You, O LORD, are guiding me on the right path to find You. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.  There's such Mystery to this life.  Somehow, we've constructed stories of experience or morality or principled living.  There is a right path. God is leading us to know Him better not figure things out. No Greater Love. No other place to be.  May we find the Sovereign God in the midst of what tugs at our hearts.  Psalm 23:3. 

"Face the hard questions that life requires you to ask.  Gather with other travelers on the narrow road, pilgrims who acknowledge their confusion and feel their fears.  Then together, live those questions in My Presence." 66LL.  O, to find Him in our struggles and not let the bad things define us. 

PHOTO: The San Antonio Missions. A watercourse.

179 - “My World May Not Recognize Me, But My God Does” Psalm 18-22

  

He brought me forth into a broad place where I can stand without having to wonder. He rescued me because He delights in me---maybe my world does not, He does! And I believe that! Psa 18:19. My God is illuminating all of my darkness. Psa 18:29. I may not see a lot happening this very day but as I reflect back, so much has changed. Change takes time. Doesn't happen overnight. My dark patches, incomprehensible shadows will be made clear one day. Until then, I trust smack dab in the middle of confusion, disconcerting news, and a world that has no place for me. But I am here to live, to love, to give, to move. I no longer need my world to come through for me. ~ Acts 20:24 God fills us all. Fills all those empty spaces. You know, He is looking for empty spaces today. John of the Cross said it this way: The Spirit of God cannot pass a soul with empty places without filling it with Himself. Search and find Him---He is here.

We are far too easily pleased. C.S. Lewis said it. May I never be satisfied with anything greater than becoming like Christ. 

PHOTO: Free Bible images. 

178 - "Let Your Theological Boxes Explode" Psalm 10-17

             

Arise on the helpless! God, lift up Your Hand! Psalm 10:12 

I walked the long lonely corridor of further testing. Bob did too this week. Something was wrong. Helpless, I lay on the gurney. Arise, O God. Three random texts come in---- God is holding you. No coincidence as I sat alone in a hospital of thousands. Held. 

Make room in your thoughts for God - Psalm 10:4 

Wonder when there is no room for God. A prayer for God Himself to appear. 

To manifest His Presence and Providence in the affairs of my little lower world. 

Arise, O God, on the helpless.

 13:2-3. Let me not barter for Anything Else to enlighten me. You have not forgotten. You see this thing that is happening to me. I will bless the LORD Who has counseled me. O God, please let my mind instruct me even this night. Because You are at my right hand, I will not be shaken in what comes my way. 

Psalm 13:8 "Expect your theological boxes to explode, to lose all false hope in what My Love will provide in this life. We've built these thoughts that life should happen a certain way. And what happens when it doesn't? May we be shaken and stirred to find this new way of thinking. The abandoned life to Christ. Because He is God and we are not."  

God remembered. We are a remembered tribe. We may have forgotten about Him in the past 24 hours of difficulties or double hearts (Psaml 12:2). But, He has not forgotten us. God remembers ...

If I drop a piece of info into the right slot, would it be morally right?  Do I live by morals alone? 

"Here is the rub: one must be more zealous to please God than to avoid sin. One's obedience to God must be forward-oriented and zealous and free, and to be a mere moralist or pietist would make such a life impossible." Eric Metaxas. Oh! God, please give us strength to prepare the way to truly live free and let go of the bartering unaware. 

PHOTO: A monastery of days gone by on St. Margaret's Island in Budapest, Hungary. I stood on this spot and wondered how the monks here wrestled in war to cast their burdens, how to trust their God.

177 - "I Have Installed My King" Psalm 1-9

We open the book of Psalms. It's a Hand reaching out to grasp ours in the midst of our storms and tears and confusion and fears. I have assumed wrongly about life: I have wanted God to step in and rescue me from all my struggles with people and life. Relieve me of this oppression. Replace it with Rest. But what God did: He has used my Job experiences "to uncover a Rest beneath the struggle that no Anguish can destroy. The struggle with fear and pain will continue. Only in the storm will you know There is an Anchor." 66LL. This is not what my world tells me. My world wants me to have no struggles, no worries, no pain. If you do, people assume that you are: Not walking with God. Not trusting God. Not understanding God and His Goodness. Not in God's will. All of the Above. A friend said to me the other day: "Let's just be positive and trust God." Or, in other words: Let's just deny what is really going on. Ps 1:1 - Blessed is the man who doesn't walk in the counsel of his disillusioned friends but in Truth. Ps 2:6 - As for me, I have installed my King...I take Refuge in God not things working out. >Ps 3:3 - You, O LORD, are a Shield about me, the One Who lifts my head through t.h.i.s. PHOTO: The trees in front of Robyn's house in Pagosa Springs. Behind me, the San Juan Forest burning unexpectedly, uncontrollably, unnerving. Meditate on these psalms day and night.

176 - "Existential Questions: Who is God? What Is He Up To?" Job 41-42

Job's answer to his Lord forces us to deal with those existential questions: 

Who is God and what is He up to in Job's life; in my life; in your life.  

Job's Response:
"I have heard of you, God, by the hearing of the ear;
But now my eye sees You.  Job 42:5-6

Therefore, I 
Retract and I
Repent in Dust and Ashes.
When God comes up from behind and we sense His Presence
When God comes up through strangers unaware
When God comes up within and we know His Goodness,
When God comes up to surprise us to uncover His Goodness ...
and we learn that
We are not the Prosecuting Attorney.
God is not the Defendant. 
Nor does He need us to defend Him and
pretend that all is well even though He has allowed suffering.

"God extinguished all the lights that had been guiding Job on a pleasant path through life, in order to gain entrance into Job's heart with Light of His Presence."66LL Are we mad that God has nudged us off the pleasant path? There is only One Source. There is only One Light.  We want God to undo all our problems and steer us back to that pleasant path. But, God is uncovering His Beauty, His Presence in you and me.  So be it. Amen & Amen. 

PHOTO: A storm brewing in Pagosa Springs where we were met with God's Grace. July 3, 2023 

175 - "God Speaks Out of a Whirlwind Not A Spa" Job 38-40

And God speaks out of a whirlwind. To his child who lost 10 children. To his child who lost his health. To his child who lost his community. He sent a whirlwind not a spa. 

And God asks Job five dozen questions! "Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge...Job 38:2; Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?" Have you ever commanded the sun to rise and the morning stars sang? What am I doing in this little life of mine? Do I live with the awareness of a very Present God holding all things together, even me. Do I live with expectations for God to show up in soft whispers to a broken world. Do I believe that the abundant life of John 10:10 holds expectations of my own thinking. This is A God Who shows up in a whirlwind to a hurting, broken son of God. Nothing soft about this. Help me to see the reality of what stirs in the Whirlwind of my own soul this very day. Help me to see my own sin of demandingness that YOU come through for me. Give us eyes to see and ears to hear the Sound of your Voice from the Whispers to the Whirlwinds and all in-between. We are not the prosecutors in this life of ours. 

God is not the defendant. He is the king. 

May we learn to wrestle well; With hands over our classy sassy mouths. 

With hearts right over our clenched fists. 

With heads held high over our cluttered minds. 

Then Job answered the Lord:
      “I am unworthy—how can I reply to you?
I put my hand over my mouth.
Job 40:2-4
And God answers once again.
This time from a storm.

PHOTO: A whirlwind I was in, one time. 

174 - "Listen To Words That Matter For Your Life" Job 34-37

The ears test words like the tongue tastes food. Job 34:3-4. Let us discern together what is right and learn what is good. May we all listen to words that matter for our lives. Job 34:29 "if God is silent" ... then what? What stirs in you as we read chapter after chapter after chapter about a man who lost his 10 children? Job is trying to make sense of his suffering. Suffering with no explanation. Elihu explodes cause evidently the older generation should make sense of it all. What's his pull? What stirs in you? I keep thinking about how Job and his wife lost their 10 children and I wonder what God is saying to Job in his silence? I keep thinking of a very old quote: "The first step to sanctity is self-knowledge." Job is wrestling with what is really going on inside of him. "If we stay within the darkness, stick close to the Cross, through death we will come to know the God Who reveals Himself in the process of dying and renewal." Something beautiful is happening to Job on the inside. We know that because we know the rest of the story. Am I staying within my own darkness, sticking close to His Cross, and dying to my pride and fears so that He may reveal and renew my spirit. Have mercy on us, O God! God is speaking through His Word. What matters more than listening and living. It seems strange as we read this story that Job's friends could not see what was going on inside of their hearts. God spoke directly to their hearts in those days. They had no Word of God; held no pages to turn. How far was Ur from the Garden of Eden? How many stories had been passed along since Creation? All we know at this point is the Creation Story, Adam & Eve, Cain and Abel, the Tower of Babel. And then, a righteous man, in a far off city of Ur. A man accused of saying "my wound is incurable, though I am without transgression." Job 34:6. Where on earth was the compassion of these men? I mean, he lost 10 children. We are not punished for our sins. And there is truth in Job 32:8 that it is the spirit in man, the breath of the Almighty, that makes man understand. O God, help us to understand, to know wisdom, for the place where we sit this day. May we fall to our knees in prayer.

 

PHOTO:  Taken at a sultry sunset over Santa Rosa Island as I contemplated what trumps all this suffering.

173 - "What is the Measure of Our Expectations?" Job 30-33

Do I measure my life by my expectations of God? Love or Loss? Job 30:16

God did not forget to set the sun in the sky this morning or

close it down this evening.  

He has never forgot to be good to us.

It's just His Nature.  

In his myriad of struggles,
Job asks the same question that St. John of the Cross asked
when John faced ridicule, banishment, and suffering.
Where did you go, God? Are you hidden from me?
It's not an avant garde Christian question to ask in our day.
Your friends will think you lack faith.
Your family will question your stability.

But Job said it too:
What about the day
When the Almighty was yet with me. 
And my children were still all around me.
Can we go back to the good days?

I remember saying on the day I learned that I had cancer:
I liked the way my day started but not The End of the day.
So, what's the measurement for us? 
Was Job or John or even my statement aware of God working.

But the day of Affliction has seized me.
Job 30:16
And do we pound on God's door with questions?
What do we need?
Where is God?

We must desire what lies beyond our thoughts, our imagination, our good minds.
Desire will get us to God.  What prepares our souls better to find God again?
Our desires.  We desire too little.
"Growing means expanding our expectations;
or rather, making His Generosity, not our poverty,
the Measure of our Expectations." Iain Mathew The Impact of God.

Job still measured his life by his devastating losses.  Do I?

172 - Hold Fast” Job 25-29

                                                  

Job isn't recognized anymore by his friends or his community.  Job's reply:  Job 27:2 “As God lives, Who has taken away my right, and the Almighty, who has made my soul bitter, as long as my breath is in me, and the spirit of God is in my nostrils, my lips will not speak falsehood, and my tongue will not utter deceit."  

No hierarchy in God's Kingdom.  No big people and little people in Job’s day.  We are all his brothers and sisters and mothers. Jesus says in Matthew 12:49 that obedience is thicker than blood. Who are my mother and brothers? Not the hierarchy in the world in which I live! ... where I am not recognized nor sought after—-I feel forgoten and invisible most days ... but in God's Kingdom His Pursuit of me is relentless, inexpressible, incessant. Live to love not to be loved. Live to serve not to be served. 

Job 27:6 "Hold fast, my Righteousness." Hold fast, my Friend. As long as breath is in us. What is our hope when God cuts us off?  This we know, the Almighty is always doing us good, even in suffering.  Hold fast! Those two words mean a great deal to me. My counselor, Bruce, for 3 years frequently ended with “hold fast.” It’s what I remember. It’s a beautiful theme to live by. Hold Fast. I think of my bff Nancy who lost 18-year-old Drew in a tragic auto accident. That’s what she has done—-held fast to Him all the rest of her days. 

PHOTO:  It's one of my favorite spots on earth.  We are headed there on Friday. Clear Lake overlooking Mount Rainier.  And my heart h.e.r.e. overflows today as I bid my spot farewell and Turn Around to face some problems that I cannot articulate.  Overflowing with gratitude for I am more persuaded, more convinced, more oh-so-sure, that my God is fighting for me in Untold Unseen Ways