177 - "I Have Installed My King" Psalm 1-9

We open the book of Psalms. It's a Hand reaching out to grasp ours in the midst of our storms and tears and confusion and fears. I have assumed wrongly about life: I have wanted God to step in and rescue me from all my struggles with people and life. Relieve me of this oppression. Replace it with Rest. But what God did: He has used my Job experiences "to uncover a Rest beneath the struggle that no Anguish can destroy. The struggle with fear and pain will continue. Only in the storm will you know There is an Anchor." 66LL. This is not what my world tells me. My world wants me to have no struggles, no worries, no pain. If you do, people assume that you are: Not walking with God. Not trusting God. Not understanding God and His Goodness. Not in God's will. All of the Above. A friend said to me the other day: "Let's just be positive and trust God." Or, in other words: Let's just deny what is really going on. Ps 1:1 - Blessed is the man who doesn't walk in the counsel of his disillusioned friends but in Truth. Ps 2:6 - As for me, I have installed my King...I take Refuge in God not things working out. >Ps 3:3 - You, O LORD, are a Shield about me, the One Who lifts my head through t.h.i.s. PHOTO: The trees in front of Robyn's house in Pagosa Springs. Behind me, the San Juan Forest burning unexpectedly, uncontrollably, unnerving. Meditate on these psalms day and night.

176 - "Existential Questions: Who is God? What Is He Up To?" Job 41-42

Job's answer to his Lord forces us to deal with those existential questions: 

Who is God and what is He up to in Job's life; in my life; in your life.  

Job's Response:
"I have heard of you, God, by the hearing of the ear;
But now my eye sees You.  Job 42:5-6

Therefore, I 
Retract and I
Repent in Dust and Ashes.
When God comes up from behind and we sense His Presence
When God comes up through strangers unaware
When God comes up within and we know His Goodness,
When God comes up to surprise us to uncover His Goodness ...
and we learn that
We are not the Prosecuting Attorney.
God is not the Defendant. 
Nor does He need us to defend Him and
pretend that all is well even though He has allowed suffering.

"God extinguished all the lights that had been guiding Job on a pleasant path through life, in order to gain entrance into Job's heart with Light of His Presence."66LL Are we mad that God has nudged us off the pleasant path? There is only One Source. There is only One Light.  We want God to undo all our problems and steer us back to that pleasant path. But, God is uncovering His Beauty, His Presence in you and me.  So be it. Amen & Amen. 

PHOTO: A storm brewing in Pagosa Springs where we were met with God's Grace. July 3, 2023 

175 - "God Speaks Out of a Whirlwind Not A Spa" Job 38-40

And God speaks out of a whirlwind. To his child who lost 10 children. To his child who lost his health. To his child who lost his community. He sent a whirlwind not a spa. 

And God asks Job five dozen questions! "Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge...Job 38:2; Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?" Have you ever commanded the sun to rise and the morning stars sang? What am I doing in this little life of mine? Do I live with the awareness of a very Present God holding all things together, even me. Do I live with expectations for God to show up in soft whispers to a broken world. Do I believe that the abundant life of John 10:10 holds expectations of my own thinking. This is A God Who shows up in a whirlwind to a hurting, broken son of God. Nothing soft about this. Help me to see the reality of what stirs in the Whirlwind of my own soul this very day. Help me to see my own sin of demandingness that YOU come through for me. Give us eyes to see and ears to hear the Sound of your Voice from the Whispers to the Whirlwinds and all in-between. We are not the prosecutors in this life of ours. 

God is not the defendant. He is the king. 

May we learn to wrestle well; With hands over our classy sassy mouths. 

With hearts right over our clenched fists. 

With heads held high over our cluttered minds. 

Then Job answered the Lord:
      “I am unworthy—how can I reply to you?
I put my hand over my mouth.
Job 40:2-4
And God answers once again.
This time from a storm.

PHOTO: A whirlwind I was in, one time. 

174 - "Listen To Words That Matter For Your Life" Job 34-37

The ears test words like the tongue tastes food. Job 34:3-4. Let us discern together what is right and learn what is good. May we all listen to words that matter for our lives. Job 34:29 "if God is silent" ... then what? What stirs in you as we read chapter after chapter after chapter about a man who lost his 10 children? Job is trying to make sense of his suffering. Suffering with no explanation. Elihu explodes cause evidently the older generation should make sense of it all. What's his pull? What stirs in you? I keep thinking about how Job and his wife lost their 10 children and I wonder what God is saying to Job in his silence? I keep thinking of a very old quote: "The first step to sanctity is self-knowledge." Job is wrestling with what is really going on inside of him. "If we stay within the darkness, stick close to the Cross, through death we will come to know the God Who reveals Himself in the process of dying and renewal." Something beautiful is happening to Job on the inside. We know that because we know the rest of the story. Am I staying within my own darkness, sticking close to His Cross, and dying to my pride and fears so that He may reveal and renew my spirit. Have mercy on us, O God! God is speaking through His Word. What matters more than listening and living. It seems strange as we read this story that Job's friends could not see what was going on inside of their hearts. God spoke directly to their hearts in those days. They had no Word of God; held no pages to turn. How far was Ur from the Garden of Eden? How many stories had been passed along since Creation? All we know at this point is the Creation Story, Adam & Eve, Cain and Abel, the Tower of Babel. And then, a righteous man, in a far off city of Ur. A man accused of saying "my wound is incurable, though I am without transgression." Job 34:6. Where on earth was the compassion of these men? I mean, he lost 10 children. We are not punished for our sins. And there is truth in Job 32:8 that it is the spirit in man, the breath of the Almighty, that makes man understand. O God, help us to understand, to know wisdom, for the place where we sit this day. May we fall to our knees in prayer.

 

PHOTO:  Taken at a sultry sunset over Santa Rosa Island as I contemplated what trumps all this suffering.

173 - "What is the Measure of Our Expectations?" Job 30-33

Do I measure my life by my expectations of God? Love or Loss? Job 30:16

God did not forget to set the sun in the sky this morning or

close it down this evening.  

He has never forgot to be good to us.

It's just His Nature.  

In his myriad of struggles,
Job asks the same question that St. John of the Cross asked
when John faced ridicule, banishment, and suffering.
Where did you go, God? Are you hidden from me?
It's not an avant garde Christian question to ask in our day.
Your friends will think you lack faith.
Your family will question your stability.

But Job said it too:
What about the day
When the Almighty was yet with me. 
And my children were still all around me.
Can we go back to the good days?

I remember saying on the day I learned that I had cancer:
I liked the way my day started but not The End of the day.
So, what's the measurement for us? 
Was Job or John or even my statement aware of God working.

But the day of Affliction has seized me.
Job 30:16
And do we pound on God's door with questions?
What do we need?
Where is God?

We must desire what lies beyond our thoughts, our imagination, our good minds.
Desire will get us to God.  What prepares our souls better to find God again?
Our desires.  We desire too little.
"Growing means expanding our expectations;
or rather, making His Generosity, not our poverty,
the Measure of our Expectations." Iain Mathew The Impact of God.

Job still measured his life by his devastating losses.  Do I?

172 - Hold Fast” Job 25-29

                                                  

Job isn't recognized anymore by his friends or his community.  Job's reply:  Job 27:2 “As God lives, Who has taken away my right, and the Almighty, who has made my soul bitter, as long as my breath is in me, and the spirit of God is in my nostrils, my lips will not speak falsehood, and my tongue will not utter deceit."  

No hierarchy in God's Kingdom.  No big people and little people in Job’s day.  We are all his brothers and sisters and mothers. Jesus says in Matthew 12:49 that obedience is thicker than blood. Who are my mother and brothers? Not the hierarchy in the world in which I live! ... where I am not recognized nor sought after—-I feel forgoten and invisible most days ... but in God's Kingdom His Pursuit of me is relentless, inexpressible, incessant. Live to love not to be loved. Live to serve not to be served. 

Job 27:6 "Hold fast, my Righteousness." Hold fast, my Friend. As long as breath is in us. What is our hope when God cuts us off?  This we know, the Almighty is always doing us good, even in suffering.  Hold fast! Those two words mean a great deal to me. My counselor, Bruce, for 3 years frequently ended with “hold fast.” It’s what I remember. It’s a beautiful theme to live by. Hold Fast. I think of my bff Nancy who lost 18-year-old Drew in a tragic auto accident. That’s what she has done—-held fast to Him all the rest of her days. 

PHOTO:  It's one of my favorite spots on earth.  We are headed there on Friday. Clear Lake overlooking Mount Rainier.  And my heart h.e.r.e. overflows today as I bid my spot farewell and Turn Around to face some problems that I cannot articulate.  Overflowing with gratitude for I am more persuaded, more convinced, more oh-so-sure, that my God is fighting for me in Untold Unseen Ways

171 - “Does Our Redeemer Hold My Life?” Job 21-24

 

Does our Redeemer hold this sun in place? Does our Redeemer hold all things in our life? Job knew it. He knew God was everywhere. He knew prosperity did not depend on right living. 

"What would we gain if we entreat Him?" remarked Job to his accusers. Job 21:16 

Elphaz, a lousy friend, replies: "Is not your wickedness great, and your iniquities without end?" 

"I go forward, but he is not there, and backward, but I do not perceive Him; on the left hand when he is working, I do not behold him; he turns to the right hand, but I do not see him. But God knows the way that I take." Job 23:8 Such beauty from the heart of Job. Followed by a haughty confidence that Job will come out as gold. And it is that statement right here that Job will repent of uttering---that all his uprightness being tried by God will produce good gold. Oh, may we see what stirs within us. May we see what remains in our lives as permitted by a very Good God to drive me to Him as my Center, my Source, my All. God was silent to Job. The dark night of the soul. 

And Job continued to fall forward and sit before God in mystery. And Job is learning just like you and me to rest before God in trust of whatever He does.  Job knew way down deep that his suffering was not punishment for his sin that he could stop by living better. In our darkest nights, there is hope that awaits and invites us to love in ways we never knew. "When we cannot figure God out, we will give up the illusion of predictability and control and discover the joy and freedom of hope." 

Father, You never allow more suffering than necessary for our very best life. That's what the sages say. That's what I wrestle with. It's just hard to fathom how much as in the story of Job. Help this next generation to see things from your perspective. Help us all to live like this servant of yours who kept coming back to you day after day, wrestling with the deep things. 

170 - “I Know My Redeemer Lives” Job 17-20

 

Where Then Is My Hope?
Job still just wanted to die---where is that graveyard. 

I mean, he lost 10 children!

He is a "byword" not the beautiful people of the world.  No more.
And his friends want to know how long will he hunt for words.

Hang on, Job.

And Job replies: 

"For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: and though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God; whom I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall behold, and not another; though my reins be consumed within me."—Job 19:25-27.

"Oh that my words were now written! Oh that they were printed in a book! That they were graven with an iron pen and lead in the rock for ever!" Oh Job! Did you realize we would be reading t.h.e.s.e. words thousands of years later. You made it in the book of all books, the One breathed by God. Job 19:25-27 For I know that my Redeemer lives and that He will stand upon the earth One Day. I shall see God for myself. My eyes shall behold Him, the Day we all live for. Yes, Job, your words are memorialized forever using iron pens.

Engraved words. Engraved on the Palms of His Hands for you and for me. Telling words.  Most scholars agree that it was not a messianic prophecy---I just went and read 3 different commentaries by Longman and Baker and Watson.  . Your redemption draws nigh, Job. All of our redemption does.  Lift up your eyes to the Light, the Comforter of the world. He will deliver you, Job. He will deliver me. And He will stand on our behalf before the world. World upon end. Until then. Hold fast, Job. Hold fast, my soul. These weighty words are forever words. My Redeemer Lives!

In regards to the Book of Job not being a messianic prophecy, I loved what Tremper Longman said in his commentary about Job: Longman believed that Job strongly desired and expected to meet God before Job died.  The words suggest that they will not be "strangers" when they meet.  Job wanted a face-to-face meeting with God.  The thought of it makes Job faint.

PHOTO:  Taken from a bridge across the Arkansas River as I reflected upon what it means to accept those things here on earth that should never be.  Yes, we do know, Our Redeemer Lives!

169 - “Though He Slay Me, I Will Trust Him” Job 13-16

 

It was in the beginning of time that Job lived.

Not the wealth of stories that we have about God, 

Who walked the earth.

Job had worked hard to raise 10 kids and lead them well; 

He worked hard on the land.

Job's friend has no mercy on him.  Zophar tells a man who just lost his 10 children that he did not get what he deserved.  Job is not in shock, not disconnecting, ... No, the man is wrestling with his overwhelming pain.  Job is asking God in Job 13:23:  How many are my sins?  Make me know my sins!  His deep heart-wrenching thoughts are coming from a good place in his heart yet some thoughts like Job 13:3 cannot possibly be from a good place:  "I want to speak to the Almighty and I desire to argue my case with God." Can we really argue with God?  So what's the point here?  There are both good and bad residing in our hearts at the same time. 

How beautiful that Job is leaning, falling forward, on the Almighty.  He knows his limits.  "Though He slay me, I will hope in Him, yet I will argue my ways to His Face."  Job 13:15.  There it is again.  Such Good!  Such Bad! 

And what touches me is that God calls us in this passage to withhold our judgment on man.  Let the Almighty judge Job, not Zophar, not me.  We are to move in love into people's lives, not trying to straighten them out.  Zophar judged a suffering Job.  But the question arises even today.  If bad things happen to you continually, like Job, you must be doing something wrong.  What beauty pours out from Job's lips in the midst of his confusion and chaos when he says:  "I will trust Him," ...  No matter what God does---and here is a man who has suffered immense loss.  Job knows something of the Greatness of God that most do not.  Let us strive not to be "worthless physicians" (Job 13:4)  helping others with our platitudes of words and actions that really don't mean that much.  Let us say with Job:  I will trust you God in this present circumstance that I am in, this very day.

PRAYER FROM PSALMS

Father,Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You preserve my life. You stretch out Your Hand against the anger of my foes; with Your Right Hand, You will save me.  Thank you so much.  I trust that you will perfect that thing that concerns me this very day, these very circumstances You have allowed. Psa 138:7-8

168 - “God Uses Troubles To Uncover Rest” Job 9-12

  

Job 9:13 How can mere mortals get right with God?  Job 9:20 God wins, hands down.  So what's the point?

 Job 10:2 "How does this fit into what you once called 'good'? Giving me a hard time---how is that good, God?  Job, like the rest of us, believes "God should relieve his struggles and replace it with rest. But God uses struggle to uncover a rest beneath the struggle that no anguish can destroy." 66 LL. Job's foolish understanding of the road to find real life is not right.  My understanding is what I have to deal with this day, this set of circumstances.  Foolish Understanding!  So throw the anchor over in the midst of my storm and it will hold true.  There is an Anchor in my raging storm.  I just want the storm to go away instead of a sure and steady Anchor in my mess.  Remember Crabb's quote in the First Love Letter---"You must now live between Anguish and Hope." 

What beautiful faith in Job pushing through his suffering.  Even his friend alludes that Job has small beginnings (whoever called thousands of sheep and donkeys and ten children SMALL?) and his latter days would be great.  Prophetic.  Meaningless to Job at the moment.  Job has not forgotten about God.  His flesh just doesn't want to face all that suffering.  I can't wrap my brain around losing all ten of my children on the same day.  Job says in 9:28 that he has become afraid of his suffering.  Wouldn't he be tempted with---what next?  It is a "land of darkness and deep shadows" for Job.  Even though he knows so much about God, Job recognizes that God passes him by and Job sees him not (Job 9:11).  And the same for me.  May we not miss you, Our Good God, passing us by this day in our suffering be it great or small.

PHOTO:  California. Who knocked down my house of cards?  God did.  And it was good.  Very good.