167 - "So Ruined. So Loved. So Little." Job 5-8

                 

My. Life. Has. No. Hope. Job 7:1-6. Are not our days like the days of a hired hand? How did Job get to that place? If his calamities were laid in the balances, his distress loomed heavier than his sin, like all of the sands. How do we measure what happens to us? Ten children buried beneath this hard life. Grieving. Now carrying sickness unto death. And a wife saying, just curse God. My. Life. Has. No. Hope. Who will say to God: "What are you doing?" Is there not anyone who can adjudicate? No Mediator? No Arbitrator? No Judge? Then, There is no New Testament. But wait, We know the Light. We know the Mediator. Hold fast. Hold us fast. There. Is. So. Much. Hope. "If I were going to begin practicing the presence of God for the first time today, it would help to begin by admitting the three most terrible truths of our existence: that we are 1. so ruined, and 2. so loved, and 3. in charge of so little.” Anne Lamott, Three Essential Prayers. Father, we are all so ruined by sin. And there is so much hope for that ruin for our Mediator ever lives. Father, we are so loved. And there is so much to live for even with ten buried children and I wince and weasel as I write for I know not that kind of ginormous pain. Father, we are in charge of so little. The fact that You do anything for us is amazing. Job could not remember his past---one of the greatest and holiest men on the entire earth. Seems like everyone forgot his past. Help us today to live remembering what You have done for us and how we got to the place where we are today. 

 PHOTO: The Quarries Lake in north Austin, Texas. I put Romans 8:38 on a slip of paper in this message bottle and laid it on the shore. "Not this p.r.e.s.e.n.t. thing can s.e.p.a.r.a.t.e. me from the Love of God. Was struggling with the loss of material things---didn't Job? August 2010 we packed up everything we owned and put it in a 10X20 Public Storage unit. Haven't opened the storage door since. It's been 14 years.

166 - "Unoaded of Everything" Job 1-4

                                                  

Here is a man who was unloaded of every conceivable thing he had worked so hard to attain.  Yet, Job humbled himself under the hand of God.  "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the Name of the Lord."  Job 1:21.   

Job was honest inside and out, a man of his word, who was totally devoted to God and hated evil with a passion.  The most influential man in all the East! It was God Who said to Satan, "Have you noticed my friend Job? There's no one quite like him—honest and true to his word, totally devoted to God and hating evil."Again, Satan strikes---do you think Job does all of that out of sheer goodness?  Job 1:11 "But what do you think would happen if you reached down and took away everything that is his? He'd curse you right to your face, that's what."  God replied, "do what you want with all that is his."  So many people have trouble saying God causes evil but God invited evil to do a work in Job. 

God knows something I know not. 

"When you stand before Me in mystery, you will eventually rest within Me in trust.  When you can't figure me out, you will give up the illusion of predictability and control and discover the joy and freedom of hope."  Larry Crabb. Am I really broken over my own demand for satisfaction in my life, my ideas of control, managing what God is saying to me, life on my terms?  If I live broken over my demandingness, I will live in gratitude and rest.  

God interrupts my life a whole lot. He has been oh so faithful to me. I am reading Matthew 7 and God interrupts in verse 7. You have been judging others: you have been bent on changing your husband, your adult kids, your friends. God interrupts and says: Ask. Seek. Knock Matthew 7:7. Intense words. 

PHOTO:  Unloaded of every person, every animal, every piece of wood, every appearance of health. 

165 - "Everything Is Under Divine Providence" Esther 8-10

                     

Oh, the grandeur of King Ahasuerus.  The epitome of treasures on earth.
And none of these riches will go with us.  Esther 8:2.  Not one thing.
Esther knew when she said "If I perish, I perish..."
She knew that she would take with her something far more precious than this life.  Her tears were for her people not for herself.  Esther knew.  Is there Something I am missing in this life that I clutch too tightly?

Divine Providence rules through the Book of Esther.
Nothing escapes God's notice.
He was preparing Mordecai to rise up even when the king couldn't sleep.
The king could order 127 provinces.
The king could not order one hour of his own sleep.
God forces us every night to rest, whether we want it or not. 
It is not our choice.  We are held in His Divine Care.
"That which will break proud Haman's heart willl not break humble Morechai's sleep." M. Henry.
Divine Care is written all through the script.
What do I not know this day of Divine Providence over my life that I must consider?

PHOTO: Colorado. Everything is in His Divine Care.

164 - "Christianity Is A Redemptive Plan To Make People Better in This Life" Ester 4-7

164 Christianity is a social policy to make life better on this earth rather than a redemptive plan to make people better in this life. Is it going well in this only life you have to live?     

                                                                   

Huge Wealth. Stunning Splendor. Isn't that today's world. People want to be somebody on this earth. "Every man is master of his own house; whatever he says, goes." That's what the king ordered. Wonder why Persia didn't take the opportunity to return "home" to Judah. They "preferred the comforts a well-established secular lifestyle could provide." Sounds way-too-familiar! So they put pressure on the beautiful women to show up. That's not right. What about those of us with redemptive dignity who aren't glamour-filled---would we have made it in Persia? "Are they---or even am I---even interested in real holiness, in what You call holiness? Or are we mistaking tolerance and niceness and spiritual experiences for the deep change in the human soul that You desire? Most of us seem to think Christianity is a moral and social policy to make life better for people rather than a redemptive plan for making people better in this life." I am so grateful to God for His moving into my life in the midst of some suffering a few years ago to help me to really deal with deep change and let HIM change me way down deep as only He can. Ask my husband, my son who was still living at home, some of my friends, and they will tell you that I'm not who I was---and I'm on my face in gratitude. And I still have a long way to go but I have hope! So, like all of us, we sometimes ask Crabb's question; Is Your plan going well or not? What about about Plan B. Is it going well in my life, in your life?  His Plan A? Or am I wrestling with all those Plan B's that surprise me and crop up? Radical Repentance.`The Providence of God has raised you up to your story this day. Plan A. "For such a time as this." 

We may never live in a palace. We may never be called a queen. Does this kind of beauty hold happiness we know not? They were just as much at unrest as the lowly. Ahasuerus thought way too much of himself, his kingdom. There is such a compelling story in this book of Esther. To what end has God called us? Consider why He has left you where you are.

PHOTO: Grandchildren in Texas. Plan A? Plan B? They have no idea of the measurement of wealth.

163 - "Consider Why God Has Left You Where You Are" Esther 1-3

 

                                                            

We may never live in a palace. 

We may never be called a queen. 

Does this kind of beauty hold happiness we know not? 

They were just as much at unrest as the lowly. Ahasuerus thought way too much of himself, his kingdom. There is such a compelling story in this book of Esther. To what end has God called us? Consider why He has left you where you are.

PHOTO: Walking the beach considering why God has left me with little notoriety to retire in Fort Worth with one friend.

162 - "The Fabric Rose. The Fabric Tugged." 1 Kings 5-6; 2 Chronicles 2-3

The fabric of the Temple was all built in silence. No hammers. No chisels. No iron tools. it Rose like an "exaltation"---so we too live our lives in quiet and confidence. #talkingtomyself

The Temple was built in silence. 
No hammers | No chisels | No iron tools were heard.

I Kings 6:7.
It rose like an "exhalation," says one commentary.

"No hammer fell, no ponderous axes rung.
Like some tall palm the mystic fabric sprung." Reginald Heber

The fabric rose in silence in the Old Testament. I Kings 6:7.

The fabric of the Sanctuary - roof, walls, floor. 
The fabric tugged in silence in the New Testament. Mark 5:27.

The fabric of the Savior Himself - his robe. 

We are to live out our lives in quietness and in confidence. Isaiah 30:15.
Thy Kingdom Come. 

Never an Observer. Always a Participator.

But that still small Voice.
The One we hear behind us, saying, this is the way. Walk in it.

And the commentary speaks to me:  "Don't mistake notoriety for spiritual progress."                                  The Kingdom went unnoticed by the Caesars and the philosophers of the day.                                                       The commentator said it grew silently like a baby in the womb, unheard, unnoticed, unknown.                   But this New Kingdom.  

Changes people 

in degrees, 

radically, 

publicly, 

inches. 

This new humanity was not so sudden.

“Concerning this house that you are building, if you will walk in my statutes and obey my rules and keep all my commandments and walk in them, then I will establish my word with you." No better thought. No better plan.

PHOTO:  I have tugged at His fabric for as long as I can remember.  Even as a Catholic school girl.  Sacred Heart was my first invitation to the Savior.  But the real tug came when I was in my junior year at LSU and wild as the winds of a tornado.  I knew there had to be more.  A whole lot more than what I was experiencing.  And I found Him. And I turned to a whole new life. And I raised up a generation of kids offering them the Truth I found. Trying to live it out my troubled past before them every day. This is a grandkid.

161 - "The Sound of Rejoicing Heard Far Away" Nehemiah 11-12

 Remember me, O God, 

and have compassion on me

 according to the Greatness of Your Love. Nehemiah knew in his heart that he was doing a great work for God, brick by brick, little by little. What's so beautiful about Nehemiah is that his heart was broken for the things that matter. It wasn't for himself, his own suffering. His heart broke for the people and the preservation of their holiness. Nehemiah did a great work. Yet, not too long after that, Nehemiah finds the people not taking worship seriously. Personal Gain. Personal Peace. Personal Affluence. Nehemiah was sustained by God and kept on persuading the people to repent. And, he dealt with his own heart so beautifully. "And what stirs you most deeply? Is it advancing your plan for your life or My plan for My world? Is it finding a way to get your spouse to understand how abandoned you feel or revealig the character of My Son as you deal with your troubled marriage? Is is a concern to live as comfortably as possible in the immediate mess or to live out your calling to be holy in the midst of the mess? 66LL. Remember me, this day, O God!

"The sound of rejoicing in Jerusalem could be heard far away." Neh 12:43. They were so happy to be protected. 

PHOTO:  Taken in Texas on a friend's lovely farm. Rejoicing. 

160 - “Tender to the Word of God” Nehemiah 9-10

                                                                

Live in the tension. Revive us, O God, in your ways, the psalmist once said. “We will not neglect the house of our God.” Neh 10:39.  No hidden agendas in this crowd. All about advancing the Kingdom of God. Not about advancing own agendas. What stirs in me most deeply? Is it advancing God's Kingdom or my own? Is it about putting closure on these financial problems I have or revealing the character of God in the midst of them? Is it about getting people to recognize you, understand you, accept you into the "in" crowd or is it about revealing the Beautiful God for whom we live. 2,000 years pass and it's the same questons: Will you neglect the house of God? Will you neglect the temple of the Holy Spirit living in you? 

They were so tender to the Word of God ... they cried when it was read.
I just love that! And I so want that!
That I would cry more over the Word than over my circumstance.
And God said, don't grieve.
The joy of the Lord is your strength.
It is the strength that comes from knowing Him and His Word.
Make it your chief study again cause I need the Strength
that only He can give.  I just hit another low! 

159 - "Don't Make It Relevant, Make It Real" Nehemiah 7-8

Whether it is raining in our hearts, torrential rains,
Or if the clouds are pulled back for a day.
God has all of this set in motion for our gain.
May we so surrender to Divine Providence and His Way. 

Nehemiah comes back to Jerusalem after he finishes building the wall. He has a great calling to build a city, not just a wall. Nehemiah 7:16. "Nehemiah knew that the safety of a city, under God, depends more upon the inhabitants than upon its walls." M.Henry. Nehemiah knew their biggest enemy was not on the other side of the wall but in their sinful hearts. Let us guard against sin. Let us guard against living for this present world. When did we start having to make things relevant to reach people? When did we start having to entertain people to draw them in? Lower the lights, soften the music, make the message relevant, and whatever do you, don't offend the churchgoers. Wondering this Sabbath Day what God thinks of all that is going on in the name of Christianity in our world today? Let's deal with our own hearts this Sabbath. Finish our own wall. Guard against our own sin. The Lord is near.

PHOTO: Torrential rains or pulled back clouds, God has set it all in motion. Make it real.

158 - "Put God's Name on Every Face You Meet" N

There is a relationship that I am wrestling through where I want someone to change for their good.  I'm so adamant that they are wrong and I believe I am right.  But that's not the issue anymore.  What stirs me from this book is that I must reveal to them the character of our Good God and not try to move them to change by my words, my prayers, my actions.  Of course, I should hope and pray for their good, their transformation, with all my heart. But I'm so stuck on them changing that I've become unbecomingly arrogant and quietly demanding. Back in the close of the Book of Ezra, Crabb wrote:  "There's always a way back from sin.  Tears of hope will flow every time you experience My Loving Mercy when you fail...Ezra's burden for holiness led to tears of repentance."  What deeply disturbs me?  What are these tears that flow?  Tears of Hope?  Tears of Repentance?  I think they might be tears of pain. 

Nehemiah 7:5 - God put this in Nehemiah's heart to assemble the people.  So, Nehemiah rebuilt the wall and set the doors in place, then he assembled priests, and gatekeepers, and musicians.  He took this ministry to the utmost place.  A common wall around an unimpressive city around a tiny town population around blue collar people.  Surrounded by mocking laughs and words to which Nehemiah replied:  "I am doing a great work."  Neh 6:3.