A Saved Mess

The radiation oncologist sent a letter last week. After reveiwing my scans and comparing them to the scans from MDAnderson, he changed his January prognosis from suspicious mass to benign mass.  Hmmm. That was the 4th opinion on this scan.  If I put my confidence in a good report or things turning for the better, then I'm missing God.  Isaiah 30:15 - In Quietness and Confidence our Strength is in the LORD, not the solution to our problems.  A quote in 66 Love Letters puts it this way:  "The issue is worship and intimacy with Me, not health or wealth or personal comfort."  They were supposed to do more diagnostic scans but my case has slipped through the cracks as I've lost my oncologists due to current financial trends.  Humana dropped Texas Oncology for the entire state of Texas.

We're back again in Corpus Christi this weekend to play the only team that beat us this season---and it was only by 3 points.  If we win out, we win District.  That would be cool for Britt. He's wrapping up his senior year.  This mom is wrapping up memories of a lifetime as we'll say goodbye to our boy in just a few short months.  I keep wanting to incessantly inundate him with everything he needs to hear before he leaves.  Poor kid!

There's another quote in 66 Love Letters that has so gripped me this day.  "You want me to be holy in any situation more than You want me to figure out what to do to improve my situation."   I spent way too much time yesterday trying to improve a situation I am in.  Improve my friends. Improve my family.  I need to deal with my own stuff!  Isn't it amazing that in all of our MESS, HE delights in us.  He's enthralled with us (Psalm 45:11) and longs to make Himself known (Isaiah 30:18) and make us holy!  I need Him so!  What a saved mess I am!

HELP HAITI

Hi, this is Britt Brandon and I'm a senior in high school. We have all heard about the devastation caused by the Haiti earthquake. I want to help the people of Haiti. It is my firm conviction that those who have more than they need should give back to our communities both locally and globally. Life is bigger than my own little world.

I am selling gray T-shirts from Aaron Ivey to raise funds to send to some workers in Haiti that we know about. 100% of the profit of each T-shirt will go directly to two organiztions we believe in: Real Hope for Haiti and Heartline (which is where the Livesay Family serves in PAP). We want to support the people already there that are working hard towards immediate relief needs such as food, fuel for generators, and medical care.

"HELP HAITI" t-shirts are $25 and printed on American Apparel. Order by leaving a comment on this blog. Please leave your name and size of Adult/Child T-shirt(s) you are ordering. Your T-shirt will be mailed to you by USPS as soon as I receive your payment. Please send checks made payable to: Britt Brandon 5701 South Mopac #2012 Austin Texas 78749), I will mail you your T-shirt. I will need you to e-mail me your address for shipment.

Please join me in giving to the people of Haiti.

ORDER:
LEAVE YOUR NAME AND SIZE OF T-SHIRT.
E-MAIL ME YOUR SHIPPING ADDRESS.
Adult Sizes - XS S M L XL XXL
Children's Sizes - XS S M L XL

Thank you so much for giving a little hope to Haiti! Britt

Aliens in Austin!

Bev & Lindsee Lou

I drove non-stop 336 miles round trip to get to the SMT and spend two hours seeing bloggers like my Lindsee Lou with the most beautiful heart for HIM! You see, my son got married last weekend at a destination wedding and we were finished celebrating or so I thought! I was all set to come to SMT and stay at the hotel. The day after his wedding, my son came to me on Monday and said that he wanted to give me his "miles" so I could come to their California wedding party celebration with 100 of their California friends. I had to say YES to my boy. We hadn't planned to fly to California because of our money situation. No-brainer. He could fly me out of Houston on Saturday morning. So I came to SMT for two hours on Friday night and it was so worth it!

I was a tad late out of Austin trying to help my senior boy in high school with some "senior stuff" deadlines. But I made it to Houston without stopping! Amanda greeted me at the door---the mastermind/heart behind all of this blogging stuff. I'd never seen her within 100 feet before. All I could say was 2Cor 2:14---you are so the fragrance of Jesus to us all! Annette, always beautiful and svelte, ran down the hall to find me and I teared up as I laid eyes on my bloggy lifelong friend. She sat me next to Sylvia and whispered who it was---a siesta full of Courage and Compassion right next to me. And on the other side was humble honest Angie B. We read the Bible together a year ago all the way through---she has such a hunger to grow!  That's me with Annie's Eyes.

Beth's words about Psalm 119 fell on my heart, stuck in a wilderness, but Exodus 15:26 HE is my Healer in this wilderness that I walk through. HE has used blogging friends to meet me in my weakness.. Abby (she couldn't come!) just texted me a few minutes ago words of tremendous hope for me for this moment. I've found a community that God has used to carry me through some difficult times with relationships, and our finances, and with my having cancer in the midst of living in a new place.

When Beth shared Psa 119:25 - "give me discernment that I may understand," I felt God stirring my heart that while I'll never understand all the difficulties we face this day, HE will show me better how to think about all of this. She shared Luke 24:45 that HE will open my mind to understand. And then I was so taken back when she prayed Isaiah 50:4 for all of us as she closed: Oh that our Beautiful God would awaken our ears to hear as we have been taught. Then she prayed that we would "stand still" and Exodus 14:14 has so been on my heart this past week as I've wrestled with a Good God in my mess. Stand still and HE will fight for you. So what does that mean? I just think it's amazing that there are over 31,000 verses in the Bible and God brings to Beth's mind the same one He drew me to---that's so like Him!

Twinkle, Bev & Georgia Jan

A mass exit to the Lobby and the first person to cross my path was Twinkle with an accent! How was I supposed to know that? It's funny how some bloggers you don't have a clue what they look like, just their heart. And she has a beautiful one---we're reading the Bible together and I know! Up comes Big Mama with the cutest jacket EVER! Made me so miss boomama Sophie!!! There's such humility in bigmama Melanie's presence! Turned around and there's Patty---one of the first bloggers I ever met who shared a Word from God that I remember to this day. Behind her was Lora and her words touched me deeply. Next to her was Suzi and I had actually been afraid to follow a suggestion and "friend" her on Facebook cause I only friend people I know or I think it's stalking---where did I get that from?

I spent the night with Annette. She got up at 5:00 AM to take me to the airport. And she still hung on to every moment of the weekend. I made it to San Francisco for the wedding celebration even though my plane had mechanical failure and they had to move us to another one! Another story.

Moving to Austin has been a huge transition for us as we left our home and lifelong friends of 33 years in Fort Worth. Resident Aliens in Austin! And that's where the blogging community came in and it's these bloggers that have touched my heart deeply. My radiation oncologist let me bring Travis' music on an Ipod into my 36 radiation treatments cause I was so scared to pieces. Seeing Travis on Friday night and hearing the voice that I've come to find such Comfort and Grace and Love meant more than I can say. Bloggers have so brought God to me as I have faced cancer in these past few months.      Thanks Travis!

And as Beth shared Psalm 119:57 "YOU are my portion..." HE is enough as He continues to detach me from anything that I depend that brings me joy other than HIM. This blogging community has meant much to me. What an honor to walk alongside those of you who will never know the impact of your posts until heaven because you are living letters written on hearts. So humbled to be at the       SMT with you all!

For His Glory!

California HERE I COME!

My son is married to the love of his life, lovely Lauren Brandon. I guess I'll stop crying soon and very soon. Hopefully! It's just that he is one of the best things that ever happened to me and it's a different chapter. You'll awlays be my boy, Barrett! It was such an honor to witness front-row seats, the vows before a Holy God, delivered by his daddy. Lauren took my breath away when she walked down the aisle flanked by her Dad and Step-Dad.

We toasted the couple at the Reception and watched two families come together. And in my heart I thought of that ONE FINE DAY when all of us will hold our glasses high to toast the King of Kings along with people like Adam and Eve who started all this leave and cleave stuff. It was a beautiful moment for me as God seemed to say to me: I am behind this. I am on their side. (Genesis 21:20)

I thought of the verse I had just read that morning: Genesis 50:20 - Do I act for God? I so want God's best for all my kids. Way more than awards and achievements, it's about the person Barrett is becoming. An unbelievable young man! I couldn't have asked for a better son! Love him so! And my prayer every day continues for both of them: 2 Tim 4:7 "Keep the faith...run your race...fight a good fight..."

Barrett came over this afternoon and swept me off my feet. We were not able to go to his California Wedding Reception due to finances. He offered me his miles. He wants me to be there. Houston was already in my plans for the weekend---Houston, I have a problem---I'm going to California this weekend! What a surprise!

I'll be in Houston for Beth's thing on Friday and Friday night. I'll stay with Annette and then fly out of Houston on Saturday morning. Best of both weekend worlds. See you in Houston to lift a "Siesta Toast" or see you in San Francisco to lift a "Wedding Toast."

My Son's Getting Married!

The beautiful bride-to-be arrives in about one hour, Lord willing! I'll run down the hall and jump up and down and scream like crazy just to see her alone, coming to find her groom. I've been a slobbering soul all this week, even as I write the first sentence. Lauren will marry Barrett this weekend. It's right. It's the moment we've raised Barrett for to seek God's will for his life and move on. It's just,--- he's my boy! I like that I'm gaining another girl though! I LOVE THAT! But something in me wants to hold on to that precious boy I so ADORE! Seems like I have so much more to say...ha. He has made some awesome choices to get where he is today.

I vividly remember the day he was born. 27 hours in labor at the hospital. I never thought I'd have a baby and a happy life but it happened. I remember his first word: lawn mower. When he was a toddler, we'd take lawn chairs and go to construction sites and sit and watch tractors do their thing for hours. He began memorizing verses, like chapters, when he was a toddler and I have it on tape somewhere. (I get so much grief from my kids for not having pictures and videos accessible---someday I will, ha.)

When he went to grade school, I remember a mission trip to Costa Rica he took with his daddy when he was in 3rd grade. It was really a vacation for him and he rode horses through the jungles, literally and scared me to pieces with his young brave self. He begged us since he was 5 to swim year-round and we finally made the plunge in 3rd grade and he trained every day with FAST for the rest of his life.

High school was such a joy and a whirlwind with 3 children in high school and a toddler at home. Barret's #1 goal was to be valedictorian and he missed it by a hair of a tenth of a point. Salutatorian. He walked out of the office when Mrs. Delp broke the news (and he didn't tell me for days). Barrett told us: I'll just set some more goals in college. And he did. He swam for Nebraska and when they unexpectedly cut their 80-year-old legacy men's swim team, he switched to triathlons. Didn't take him much time to rise to the top. He's traveled the world and competes on the U.S. National Olympic Development Team. He finished Nebraska with an MBA. It has been a storied life for him. His God has been very good to him.

Barrett came to Bob and me in May, right after my first surgery for cancer, and said he wanted to marry his college sweetheart and be with her for the rest of his life. I think I cried for 24 hours. That's why some of you may be surprised to hear today that he's getting married. I was in the middle of my own crisis and some things didn't get done or communicated. There were moments I didn't even think I would make it to the wedding.

So that precious boy who is forever imprinted in my mind and heart towing his little red wagon in the front yard, riding his bike relentlessy and continually is leaving his dad and mom and cleaving to the sweetest girl ever. Barrett & Lauren met 7 years ago at Nebraska but she's a Californian. She is one of the best swimmers Nebraska ever had. In fact, she won the NCAA Graduate Scholarship beating out all those Nebraska football players as the NCAA only awarded one full ride for grad school. And so, compliments of Nebraska, she just finished her Masters in Education. She also made Olympic Trials...and this m-i-l thinks she would have made the Olympics if she had not been hurt on the day of the race.

So welcome, darling Lauren, to our crazy loving family. We adore you and love you so much! And bye Barrett, my faithful son! I'll try to be a good mom to a married kid but I don't know how. I'll trust HIM! Isaiah 40:4. I'll pray for the both of you every day for the rest of my life as long as I have breath. I love you more than you will ever know! You've made this mom so happy and so proud. My everyday prayer for you and Lauren will be 2 Tim 4:7 Fight the good fight. Finish the race. Keep the faith. There is a crown being held for you---a crown for being right with God.

I am putting together a book for Barrett and Lauren with memories and quotes and would love for you to leave a word, a thought, a memory to add to the book if you know them or not. Thank you for all the parts you have played in the story of our lives! I had always hoped that we would have big weddings for all my children but I don't think we will. Next to follow is Blair! Our youngest daughter is getting married this summer.

Barrett and Lauren's wedding will be a beautiful intimate family wedding at a gorgeous resort. It would really mean something to me if you shared a comment for Barrett and Lauren here.

Happy New Year to the Old and New

Happy New Year Old Friend!
Happy New Year New Friend!
So grateful to each of you for friendship and kindness and love.

I awoke to a steel grey Dallas sky above but I'll watch the sun set in Austin tonight. Jeremiah 33:20 talks about the covenant of the day----and it is the same covenant of promise for me and you this day and forever in 2010. The dawn will break and with each sunset, no one can break that arrangement. Just the same, no one can break the promise of our God to be good to us this year. He will. He will be good to you, no matter what.

Reminded of Oswald Chambers words this New Year's Eve:
Our goal is God Himself.
Not peace, not joy, not even blessings but God Himself!

May we see what is happening in our hearts this year like Peter did. He was a different guy in the Book of Acts. Remember in the Book of John when he cut off the ear of the soldier in spite. Peter didn't see the viciousness of his heart. But he did see his heart in Acts. May I really see and wrestle and deal with the fray of my heart this coming year. There is hope for our sin. A Beautiful Redeemer!

As the moments of 2009 tick off the clock, may you find a Beautiful God, a Wonderful Counselor waiting to show up in your 2010. He's there preparing a place for you.

Happy New Year! God bless my new and old friends!

66 Love Letters

Join us in reading through the Bible this year from Cover to Cover, Genesis to Revelation. Alongside the bible readings, we will read a devotional book, Lawrence Crabb's new book 66 LOVE LETTERS (release date is January 12, 2010). As we read a book of the Bible, we will also read the corresponding chapter in Crabb's book.

We will start January 1st using a One-Year Reading Plan from beginning to end. I invite you to read The Message version this year or you may choose another version. You are invited to comment on my blog "A STRING OF PEARLS" and link us to your own blog comments about your Scripture readings and devotional readings in 66 Love Letters.

There is no commitment. Just an invitation to read and allow the LORD to show up for you. We want to hear what God stirs in your heart as you open his Love Letter. What lingers with you throughout your day?

You can go to www.ewordtoday.com and sign up to receive the one-year reading plan in your e-mail inbox or cell phone. You can purchase Larry Crabb's new book 66 Love Letters from www.amazon.com, available January 12th. "Written in a conversational tone, Dr. Crabb looks at each individual book in Scripture and boils it down to a one-or two-sentence message to us from that particular book." Larry answers the question: What does God want me to hear from this love letter?

I believe the Truth of God's Word---Psalm 51:6--- will sink deep into our hearts and change our lives this year.

Start with us on January 1st. Larry's book will not be available before January 12th. You can jump in or take a break at any time. This invitation is for you to listen to God not to check off boxes that you've read every day. You are invited to post the stirrings of your heart at any time...it may be just be one verse or one thought or even more as we listen to His Love Letters to us in 2010. Or you may just want to read along and not comment.

See you on January 1st on my other blog, A String of Pearls. You won't find any postings on this blog about the 66 Love Letters, only about life with The Brandons. You can access A String of Pearls blog in two ways: 1) click on A String of Pearls in left margin of this blog 2.) go to my profile and click on A String of Pearls.

We would be so delighted for you to join us in listening to what God has to say to each of us in 2010.

For the past 30 years, I have always sent a Christmas newsletter to let you know what's happening in the Brandon household. About 4 years ago, the length of the letters became briefer than before (made a lot of readers happy). We went through a time of evaluating our lives and what's really important. We have No One Else Like Him to go to in the midst of our suffering but the Beautiful God we so love. John 6:68. As we approach 100 years old (you're supposed to laugh right now), things look a lot different to me than they did 4 years ago. Once again this year, we went through a little more suffering that brought us a step of faith closer to the One Who holds us all together (Col 1:17). God has used so many of you to give me hope and courage as I battled cancer. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the Beautiful Fragrance of the Lord Jesus Christ that you have brought to me this year (2 Cor 2:14). My Deep Gratitude, Bev

Here is our 2010 Family Newsletter:

A New December dawns and draws us in to reflect on 2009. A verse that has gripped me for 3 decades---Psalm 27:13-14---took on new meaning this year. I would have despaired unless I had believed I would see the Goodness of God. We will remember 2009 for we found a Good God in the midst of difficult days. Groping for that Invisible Hand in dark times, He met me in my weakness 2 Cor 12:9. We are alive in ways we have not been before.

In a few weeks, Bob will marry our oldest son to the love of his life, lovely Lauren Bailey of California. Barrett coaches and continues to compete in the ITU professional triathlon circuit.

Brooke completed her 3-year commitment in Thailand & is serving one year with the IMB in Arlington, working toward Seminary classes.

Blair serves on Capitol Hill in Washington DC as a Legislative Correspondent. Our precious girl will notably become Mrs. Patrick Walsh in July.

Britt is loving his senior year at Hyde Park. The old anecdote says: “All men die; but few men ever really live.” We’ve raised him for this moment to let him go as he heads to be an Aggie or Longhorn---maybe even UNC. My prayer for this humble, hard-working kid is that he fights the right battles in life. He’s been such a joy! May he continue to find his God and really live!

It has been one of the scariest years for me in battling cancer but Psalm 18:28 speaks to deep places in me: God is turning my darkness into Light. Learning a bit more to kept still & not fight my own battles. Nahum 1:7 says the LORD is good. He has been my Refuge in times of trouble. I am finding a deeper Rest, growing in a little more dependence on a Sovereign God. Bob serves faithfully on a church staff here in Austin and loves what God has called him to. My husband has been Isaiah 33:6 to me, a Stability of times and a Wealth of God’s goodness. We want to struggle well with His Energy---Col. 1:29---and finish our lives well.

We hold so much gratitude in our hearts for you. The outpour of God’s Love has been overwhelming---old friends and new friends, even strangers whom God has used to put hope in my hand & heart. God is carrying us through all our ordeals- Isaiah 46:4. We are grateful to be fellow strugglers with you passing through this life to our real home. Take courage, O my soul, and wait upon the LORD, not the solution of our problems, not the closure of sickness, not the escape from trials. We wait on a Beautiful God not on any man nor any circumstance.

Our prayer for you is Isaiah 40: 3-5 - There is a Voice calling in your wilderness. May every valley be raised up & every mountain made low that the glory of God be revealed in you in 2010. We join you in advancing His Kingdom. May we all deal with the competing kingdoms in our hearts. All praise & honor this Christmas to the Beautiful & Invisible & Eternal God Whom we adore! Now unto HIM Who is able to keep us together, Jude 2:24. Holding fast to our Good God and Psalm 46: 5,10 --- God is in our midst; I will not be moved. God will help me when morning dawns every day in 2010. Be still, my heart, and know He is God.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year -

Bob & Bev - Barrett, Brooke, Blair and Britt

B E N I G N

I made the nurse repeat it TWICE. B.E.N.I.G.N. Thank YOU God! The suspicious spot on my leg is a benign seborrheic keratosis. Seb k. I've had this barnacle on my shin for about 3 years but it's gone now.

I don't want to live my life encouraged only by my circumstances. LIKE...we finally got our car back after 5 months in the car repair shop; however it doesn't run quite right. Ha. Or, my computer is so messed up that I just went to Fran's blog and it said it was an ATOM XML and I couldn't post on atoms? What in the world does that mean? I think my computer might not recover and I'll be cyber homeless. My Facebook is frozen---but so is every link I have to open.
But I can rejoice when the news is good. And this is good news that the lesion was benign. And I can embrace the Truth when the news is not good. And entering that truth will not only be sadness but can also be joy as we draw near to Him.

For what do want this moment MORE THAN drawing near to God. May we all listen to our hearts and what is really going on inside of us. It matters so much what is happening inside of me. Way more than it matters what I am doing! So grateful to a very good God for bringing me to this place in life.

We read Christmas cards every day and think that people are doing great by what they are DOING---wonder what is really going on in their hearts.

Yesterday I listened to a CD on pondering the Trinity. Relating to God and others takes first place in our lives. Love the LORD with all your heart. Enter the souls of your family and friends to model and invite brokenness.

Everything but drawing near to God is a "second thing" as C.S. Lewis said: Put first things first. There is only One First Thing. Had a conversation with a good friend yesterday about people saying that if you have your health, you have everything. Not so! Our health, our families, even our ministries are all "second things." And some of those, as one of my friends quotes, are "painful doorways to deeper intimacy. "

So as I face my own brokenness this Christmas, I have to face what's going on in my own heart, not how I want my world and people in my world to change. And I will face that I am profoundly not able to be strong enough to love and change anything apart from the power of God. I Cor 2: 2-4.

May we all seek HIM this Christmas in the midst of whatever it is that we face. Draw near to Him and HE will draw near to you. Plead for His Mercy rather than demand that the pain and the hurts go away.

The CD talked about the church being a community of broken people who long to know a Beautiful God and relate like HIM in our world RATHER than being a community of responsible reasonable people trying very hard to do a lot of very good things for the Kingdom. Are we frenetic and frantic for Christmas? Hmmm. Trying to make something happen...which leads to strategy and valuing people that are on board with us rather than offering them grace right where they are.

I'm still Miss Shingles over here (affectionately called by my youngest). Looks to me like I have a mild case of shingles compared to the scary shingle stories I've heard.

I'll post my Christmas letter next. Just wanted to say what was stirring in my heart this grateful morn. For whatever that's worth! I'm very grateful this Texas wintry season (it's 75 degrees outside) that I have the privilege to warmly walk alongside of friends like you!

Signed: Miss Shingles

SHINGLE BELLS, SHINGLE BELLS

Shingle Bells. Shingle Bells. Oh me, oh my! I have the shingles.

Went for a second opinion for a suspicious spot on my shin. The dermatologist did a biopsy on my leg right there on the spot! Didn't have time to text anyone to pray. The most wonderful thing was that God was right there with me holding my hand. Psalm 15:8. He had just brought to my mind Psalm 112:7 an hour before. I was waiting with another friend for their pathology to come back. No fear of bad news for our hearts are steadfast, trusting HIM alone, not the closure of unwanted circumstances.

The word "biopsy" strikes fear in me. "Can I call my husband before you do it?" I could have scheduled it for the future. No, take it out right now. She removed the whole lesion. But God continues to remove lesions from my heart. He reached down on Tuesday and took hold of me and drew me out of some deep waters of fear. Psalm 18:16. The pathology report comes back on Friday.

I've been thinking a lot lately about personal holiness. You know, the kind of holiness that trumps impact. We can get so caught up in wanting to be somebody and make a mark and change the world for Christ, that we miss dealing with this present moment of our own stuff. We will be advancing the Kingdom if we are dealing with what is going on inside of our hearts. So grateful to Him for bringing me to a place where I'm aware that the Love of Christ is more important than any ministry. Oh, I don't know. I wish I could better verbalize what's going on inside of me. Dealing with some pretty dark feelings and learning a bit more what it means to let them go.

So the doctor proceeds to check me from head to toe...OH NO...you have SHINGLES ON YOUR BACK. And I thought I was there for my shin! But actually I was probably there for my sin for our Beautiful God rescues us because He delights in us, Psalm 18:19, and He won't let us stay in our sin. So surprised by a sin of quiet demandingness that one more thing does not need to happen to me before this year ends. And what about starting deductibles over again in January with multitudinous doctor bills? What about trusting He will take care of it all? It is the Kindness of our God that leads us to repentance. Romans 2:4. What do I want more than the Love of my Christ? The good life...so what would that look like? SHINGLE BELLS. SHINGLE BELLS.