She Speaks ... Proverbs 31:25

Amazing Awesome Awestruck Austin Spring Break!!! 
So why am I crying?

Just delivered my mono-sick college boy to his home under the Supermoon,
brought Britt back to Jester Dorm at the March-Madness winning University of Texas.
Total privilege to be Britt's Mama & "Minister of the Word" like Dr. Luke says in Luke 1:2,
"Minister" - it's a medical term meaning serving under a physician, The Great Physician!
Britt is my caboose and my freighted soul has folded my apron once again this week. 
Why is this so hard to say goodbye this time?

Loved every spring break second of serving Britt who is oh-so-sick since November, and
Loved serving 99 college students my daughter Brooke brought down from UTA for a missions trip
to serve our city's children and homeless and underserved.
Helped cook 60 pounds of chicken and 110 pounds of beef and 10 pounds of brownies and 15 pounds of peach cobbler and ...
the loquacious calories and 99 liminal lives I loved have moved on.
What stirs so heavy my weighted wonderful looming lunar life?

~I long to finish well~
God has orchestrated a transition for us.  It is so God!
We're between jobs, between insurance, between a place to live,
between friends,  between churches, NO LONGER in between cancer...
"Detaching me from Dependence on anything that brings me joy other than Him," 66 Love Letters
Bob lost his church job and we cannot wait to find another ministry to serve!
But we wait on God, Psalm 27:13-14, not on any man.
And I ask myself, is there anything I want more than the Love of my Christ?

For the past three decades in a row, I've had a myriad of children tugging at my skirt and heart.
The moon is rising in my heart, raising four and many more to know Him and live alive!
Speaking and writing, though sporadic, overwhelmed me with such joy
while mothering and ministering and I'd love to go back to speaking again.
I loved every esoteric exigent ineffable chapter we just closed
and it's bothering me that's there are no re-runs.
O God, help me face this new opportunity to love my husband,
love my world with fearless courage (Phil 1:9 Moffat).
So what is the Beautiful God I so adore stirring inside of me?

This I know...
It's not what happens to us along the way
but what happens inside of us that matters for Eternity.
And it's a Beautiful God that is so stirring up Hope and Confidence in all the messes I've made.
C.S. Lewis once said:  "No man knows how bad he is until he has tried very hard to be good."
I'm seeing more of the sin that resides in me, Rom 7:18, that I never ever dared dream was there,
and at the same time, seeing oh-so-much-more hope within that I never dreamed I could live in! 
And I worship! And it's my fears that cause me to worship The Messiah of My Dreams.
And I want! To walk alongside others and offer hope and courage and dreams.
And I wonder!  Do I really hate my sin more than my suffering? 

So, that's why I'm entering this opportunity to win a Cecil Murphy Scholarship to attend the She Speaks Conference this summer. Renee Swope is the kind conduit of composing this Psalm 45:1 kind of offer: http://www.reneeswope.blogspot.com/
She Speaks, click http://shespeaksconference.com/, is a once-in-a-lifetime learning opportunity for writers, speakers, and ministry leaders. 
Editors and industry professionals are close-up and personally available with advice and direction.  If God is stirring words and wit and wisdom in your heart, this conference is the place to be in July.  We all only have this moment, this life to leave a legacy, make a mark, reach out with redemptive rhetoric. If you've held tightly any thoughts of writing and speaking and ministering in leadership, then check out Lysa TerKeurst's blog http://lysaterkeurst.com/ and meet an amazing woman who is a "minister of the Word" (Luke 1:2).
Titus 1:1 says that we are all servants of the Word of God for the faith of His People and the Knowledge of the Truth that leads to changed lives!  Mine and yours!  I so want to finish well!

So what are these tears for? 
When is the Last Time the ordained moon didn't rise? Psalm 8:3
When is the Last Time He refused to be good to you and to me?  Jeremiah 33:20
My God is about to do something new. Isaiah 43:19
Would you pray that I find Him in these present sufferings.  Romans 8:18
I so miss my kids under the dine of every shining moon!

99 Spring Break Students + Britt = 100

They say "no news is good news."  Who is they?  My oncologist has not called with the results of my latest scans.  Waiting...

Meanwhile, I sit at Seton Hospital waiting for my youngest boy to be X-rayed for pneumonia, again.  He's had it since Christmas. Why can't a strapping young boy fight off walking pneumonia?  Mono.

From the swamped hospital waiting room, I swipe my own doctor's office for results. There's James on the end of the line:  "Mrs. Brandon (who is holding her breath), Everything looks normal.  Markers are stable."  Breathe out.  And I believe it's quite all right with the God I so adore to hold my breath for a second or two to see what's next. 

For my joy, my rest comes not from cancer-free news or job-of-the-decade news or even a job.
Isaiah 30:15 "In Returnings and Rest,
In Quietness and Confidence, my Strength is in You. 
It is good news that my cancer remains within a normal range.  My tumor markers won't go down to zero because of metastasis.  But these are just numbers, mere information, and I wait on a very Good God, no matter what.  Test results are not our hope and joy, only He is.

Britt's home for Spring Break, sleeping the week away, trying to recuperate...we'll see what the doctor says.  And we'll keep on praying for good health.  In the waiting room...

Brooke and her BSU staff are here in A-town all week.  She brought 99 students.  99 UT college students!!!!!   From the other A-town. Here to serve our city!   Britt & I helped serve roast & potatoes last night and then the worship---touched my soul deeply!!!   Here are kids who are truly waiting on God. 

This emptynester is like off the charts in spring-break-week-off excitement having two of mine own HOME. I miss my kids more than I can ever say.  Three straight decades of children tugging on my skirt and heart and not a day off! They say it will get better...hmmm.  On my way to go help cook dinner for the 99.  You know I am ecstatic! 

Isaiah 30:18 - The LORD longs to be compassionate on every one of us.  Britt asleep. Tsunamis ravaging oh so many.  The tsunami photos are horrificly chilling to see a city obliterated in a city minute.  Praying God's Compassion on all.

We wait, not on any test results, not on any man.  We wait on a very Good God Whose Eyes run back and forth the whole earth to show Himself strong, 2 Chron 16:9.  To me and to you!  Will our lives cause His Eyes to stop?  Please stop here in ATX as we cook, dear LORD.