10 - "A Signal Token of His Presence" Genesis 28-30

Hey Kids, What sets us up for dreams?  I wonder? Rocks and hard places.                                                              November 30, 2022 - a freak fall set me up.  Laid up way too long.  Back. Knees. Mouth. Nose.                  Last night, the muscle spasms, the night terrors.  

The ingredients of Jacob's Dream:                                                                                                                   * a tumultuous journey; a guilty conscience; no place for his head *                                                             A rock for a pillow.                                                                                                                                          A ladder to climb.

God says:  I am Jehovah, the God of your father and your God.
I will not leave you until I have accomplished all the things I have promised to you.
God is everywhere upholding all things by His Power
and God was here in a special sense. 
A signal token of His Presence darting from the heavens.
Jacob didn't expect to meet God in such a place.
Remember Mary at Christ's elbow and she knew it not. John 20:13.
Now Jacob, God is in this place and I knew it not. Genesis 28:16.
May we find Him today between a rock and a hard place.  

Photo:  The first three grand tokens of God's Presence to me. 

9 - "Live Loosely With The Attachments to This Life" Genesis 25-27

 9 - Live loosely with the attachments to this life. Our chief concern always should be: With Whom shall we rise. (M.Henry).  Genesis 24:1. 

                                                                      

Live loosely with all the Attachments to this life.  Lighten the grip.  Don't be overly spiritual.  Seek after heavenly graces.  Pay your due respect to all, even if they are unworthy bad actors.  Happens every single day.  Those who have the least on this earth still have a grave.  There is a place of burial for each one of us.  Be content where you live.  We can find joy in unfulfilled desires.  Abraham lived contented to be a pilgrim in a promised land.  He lived more concerned about securing the place where he was going. Genesis 24:1 - blessed in every way.   

My church background was Roman Catholic growing up in a house with no mirrors. I would never say religion was what I needed cause I had it in full throttle. We went to Mass Monday through Friday and never missed a Sunday from Kindergarten through High School. I knew what I believed. My grip on life was way too tight for things to happen and people to come through for me. 

"The chief concern is with whom we shall rise." M. Henry. God stood me on my feet in a relationship with Him. I found God. Grasped. Secured.

Because One Day this will all be over.  All this worldly glory will be gone.

All these things we have cared about way too much.

See through the possessions and the physical beauty and the parades and the pomp.

See right through the facade to the Day we live for:

Falling Stars from the sky. 

Darkened Sun under head.  

Forgotten Moon failing to turn on the light. 

Powerful Heavens shaken to the core.

Appearing Son of Man---in the Sky.

Mourning Tribes of the earth.

Watchful Eyes see Someone coming on the clouds.

Sending Angels to gather His Elect from the 4 winds.

PHOTO: My first grandchild. May there be many many more. May they all live loosely with the attachments to this life.

8 - "We Are All Seasick Together" Genesis 20-24

SOVEREIGNTY “But I thought” —- we all have to wrestle in our hearts with the Truth. Genesis 20:11.  If it truly were a matter of the mind, we could change our minds. Are we taking matters into our own hands? What competes with the rule of sovereignty? Do I love God more than my children? More than my ministry? More than my desire not to suffer? More than what is happening to me?

 

Because I thought in my heart that there is no fear of God in this place.  Genesis 20:11.  Therefore, I took matters into my own hands again and said: "She's my sister" so they wouldn't kill me.  Here is Abraham, the faithful patriarch, back to where he was before, deceiving people, throwing people into the path of sin, offering excuses, disregarding his own wife, and not living in that "counted as righteousness" life.  In the Hebrew the verse is translated:  "But I thought" . . .  If it were a matter of the mind, we could change ours.  It's deeper than knowledge, it's our heart that must wrestle with God.  Just like Abraham and Sarah. 

And what does God do?  Forgives.  Gives life after, wait, how many years of no children for Abraham?  36,500 suns will rise on this gentleman's life before the promise lives.  Waited a century.  100 years.  Isaac.  Oh, to wait on God.  Oh, to go to God.  Like the unpretentious unassuming Abimelech, who rose early for directions.  Oh God!

God, You promise us that You will act on behalf of those who wait for You, not for a baby, not for a solution, not even for protection.  For You and You Alone, may we wait.  Isaiah 64:4

G. K. Chesterson once said "We are all seasick together."  Just tell me what I have to do to obey you, God, and I'll work out a way to go do it.  I'll crawl on glass for you. I'll walk a tightrope.  Oh my.  We so want the Bible to be a road map to get us there. We silently scream: Give me the plan and we will do it.

       You and I have need of the strongest spell 
       that can be found to wake us from
       the evil enchantment of worldliness which
       has been laid upon us for nearly a hundred years.               
                               C. S. Lewis The Weight of Glory

Abraham loved God more than his father---he left his father's land and all behind.

He went through so many trials and testings.  Doesn't exempt us from further ones.
It's what people give me the hardest saying about:  they really don't want to hear
that one more thing has happened in my life or their own life.  

Don't even tell me---
is what the mantra seems to be. 

Where does my default thinking end up?  Do I love God more?  Do I love God more than my children?  Do I love God more than people and what they say to me? I didn't think I would end my life struggling with acceptance but I am. Does anyone even want to read anything I write? Probably not. But one child asked me to write. So, here it is with all honesty. 

So, back to Abraham---does Abraham love God more than his precious son, Isaac.
He is about to find out.
Abraham.  God calls his name.
"Here I am." What are are you saying to your servant tonight, my Lord?
No one could be prepared for what was about to happen.
Kill your son, Isaac.
God tells Abraham he must have his son, his only son, the son Sarah wept to bear.  
The son of your laughter.  That one.
Yes, the one who is as your own very soul.

[We cannot fathom taking the life of one of you.]
Do it in the land of Moriah, a 3-day journey for you to consider your every step.
With no known reason like other trials where the reasoning was seen. 

Hey, do we demand to know the reason for the things that happen to us when in unknown territory? Sometimes, I think God is punishing me for my mishandling of life. I used to say that to you all---maybe God is disciplining you in this?  You all never liked that.  Ever.  Wish I hadn't said that phrase.  We aren't being punished for our sins---our sins are forgiven and forgotten.  Mea culpa to my children.  
No delay in any way or form on Abraham's part.
He even distanced himself from his own servants not to intercede or intercept.
A holy willfulness with the heaviest heart carried by any known man on earth.
Abraham bound the hands that had reached out to grab him as his daddy.
The hands that folded in prayer with his dad.  Abraham bound those hands.
The Sun of Righteousness broke through.
Lay not your own hand upon that son.
The answer:  Abraham loved God more than he loved Isaac.
What competes in our heart for the rule of the sovereignty of God?

And a thought and a prayer:  "If You will" - God, please change our hearts.  You see the struggles.  You hear our cries. May we see your Sovereign Hand.

PHOTO: 

7 - “God Rises on Swollen Souls” Genesis 18-19

SWOLLEN SOULS. God opens swollen eyes---there is a well of water in grace. God rises on swollen souls. Genesis 18:14. Is anything too difficult for the Lord? 

God visited Sarah in mercy.  Here it is.  His Word.  Every Word accomplishes His Purpose.

Never was I as sure God had visited me than the births of Blair and Britt.
I could have died in childbirth with Blair ... or never wanted another baby again.
Took me one month to even get my strength back after I delivered Blair and had emergency surgery.
And, I never imagined that Britt would make it through several  turbulent pregnancies. We just didn't know that God's timing would be 7 years later.  God sets the time not parents. 

Abraham and Sarah both stand up in their old age to listen and honor and obey
the God they had laughed at, the God they had lied to. 

These are imperfect people whom God loves immensely. 

When God rises on our souls and we embrace Him, the dawning is inconceivable. 
And it just may be in a wilderness, again, like Hagaar.  Sent there by Abraham.
God opens her swollen screaming eyes.  There is a well of water in grace. What are you doing here, asks the Lord of her life. That Same God that opened Hagaar's blinded eyes will open mine and yours to see God's grace in our loss and love.

Three men came to announce that Sarah will bear a son. They found Abram sitting at the entrance of his folded tent in duty and disbelief. The Lord said: "Is anything too difficult for the LORD? At the appointed time, I will return to you..." Genesis 18:14.

So,

Mattthew 6:1 Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. Your Father who sees in secret will reward you when you give to the needy in secret (6:3), when you pray in secret (6:5), when you fast in secret (6:18).  

      Though I may feel empty even this day, I am filled with His Spirit.  
      I will Give in secret from Trusted Fullness rather than
      Grasping for visible Demanded Fullness.
      No matter how I feel or what goes wrong today,
      I can Live to Give in secret and Not to Grasp.
      I can bring a taste of Heaven to Earth.
      Paraphrased from 66 LL

PHOTO: 3 Grandkids at the beach in 2025. No one knowns what tomorrow holds for any of us. Stay with God.

6 - "You Are A God of Seeing" Genesis 16-17

TELLING QUESTIONS: Where have you come from? Where are you going? Genesis 16:13 A God of seeing Who wants me just as I am with all the workings of my heart. A Shield round me. Never assured of full exemption from life. Always assured of full redemption by a Providential Hand. If we trust, it's enough on Earth.

Is there No Hope beside that place where you sit.

Here are those simple telling questions again: Where have you come from and where are you going? Genesis 16:8. 

A servant slave who accepted an advance from her owner.  Abram and Sarah didn't call on God for help. They set out to control their worlds.  They concocted a plan to have a son.  And Hagar, Sarah's servant obliges. And Sarah's jealousy rages when she learns that Hagar has conceived.  What???  Her full-throttle anger sends Hagar to the desert.  

And it is t.h.e.r.e. that Hagar calls the name of the Lord who spoke to her, "You are a God of seeing, for she said, 'Truly here I have seen Him who looks after me." Genesis 16:13.  Hagar was the first of the trio involved in sin to call on the name of the Lord---the lowest one, the weakest one.  She knew that God saw all:  her betrayal to her mistress Sarah, her flight into a wilderness, her thirst at a fountain, her hunger to be fully known, her desire to be fully loved, her hopes for a child.  

A God of seeing.  And He wanted her just as she was with all the workings of her heart.  Beautiful repentance. Beautiful words. You are a God of Seeing---my betrayal, my flight, my thirst, my hunger to be known, my desire to be loved, my hope for a child.

Oh! to know the God of seeing a little more clearly this day!  The God Who sees everything with Eyes of Providence for He sees everything that is happening in all of our world. And there is so much happening in my world today that looms impossible, insignificant, incredible, ignominious.  May we trust You, God with what we cannot see.

A God of seeing Who wants me just as I am with all the workings of my heart. A shield round about me. Never assured of full exemption from life's sorrows. Always assured of full redemption by a Providential Hand.

Antique words written for this very day.

What outward/inward evils do we face? We know we made it through a global health crisis.                   

PHOTO:  Credit belongs to NASA on Flickr.  A "Doomed Star" - copyright free. 

Remember 11/16/1970.....I walked into the Catholic Church on the LSU campus because I was so torn over what was true. I went to Mass every single day of my life Kindergarten through 12th grade. The Mass was in Latin. Fast Forward to college (where my parents did not want me to go but I paid for it).  Campus Crusade (CRU today) had been sharing with me about becoming a Christian. They read the Four Spiritual Laws to me dozens and dozens of time. I didn't get it. How could they say the doctrine I believed was wrong---at least, that's what I felt like they were saying.  It's like you are climbing the ladder to heaven and you get to the top only to discover you were on the wrong ladder.  So, how do you know what is really the truth?  Twelve years at a parochial school christened me deeply in catholic doctrine.  What in the world is the priesthood of the believer?  Wait! You mean, I have direct access to God without the mediation of a priest.  Well, that's something! So, I started seriously searching for Truth my junior year in college. 

5 - "We Are All Headed to Another Country" Genesis 13-15

ETERNITY. You are headed to a heavenly country. What's the next stop along the way? Genesis 13:1 #60000thoughts #talkingtomyself

                                                  

My kids, they all live where I am not.  Except for one. Not for long, though.  I have to let them go. You spend 18 years together and the chapter ends. How can I live in the present moment without them. I love them so. Know this. We are all called to another country. Move on. Job done. Go on with God. Hold them close forever. 

The Creator of this wide world told Abram to go from his country, from his people, from his father's household to a land God would show. Gen 13:1 And so Abraham left Egypt. He and his wife and everything he owned. 

The Unknown. Don't we sit there in some ways this very day. I don't know how much longer we can live here in Austin. After a decade, I can say I have a host of supporters and followers. I feel deeply appreciated. And I feel deeply alone. I've made "no friends" here that will give me their presence. People are so caught up in their own lives. Then, throw a year's worth of a pandemic on the pile back in 2020. The Creator God just might be telling us to move, to go, to love, to stop. Why did Abram leave it all. Divine Guidance. His sole decision based on a premise---he was headed to a heavenly country and it was the next stop along the way. So, what's my next stop along the way? 

Photo: Brooke circa 1988 So, she left. 2012

4 - "Don't Live to Make A Name For Yourself" Genesis 10-12

BIG NAME Don't live in contempt of court. It's not right to live to make a name for yourself." Genesis 11:4 

                                                       

       

                                                         We live in such a celebrity society.

But, castles crumble. Unspoken pressure exists unaware to make a name for yourself.

"Let us build for ourselves a city so that we may make a name for ourselves." Genesis 11:4

10,000 fathoms high in the sky, One Kingdom.

It's the Wrong Kingdom to make a name, perpetuate who we are.

May we live transparent and see how we misdirect to make life center around our name.

We are all born with a given name. Barrett. Brroke. Blair. Britt.

May you live up to your names---the ones inscribed on His Hands. 

And my prayer for each of us is that we would call on His Name Alone. 

And I want to pass on what I think is deeply touching as I reflect over my life in a new year.
An ordinary life with a handful of followers.  People won't read me because they aren't interested in the unknown folks or in the older folks, anymore. In previous generations, we had clout. We would sit for hours playing games, dancing to music, reading books together, listening on end to stories from Aunt Gertie who lived with us. Aunt Hazel and Aunt Evelyn who came over every day. Not so in this culture.  

But what I have seen and heard and felt, I want to record for your kids, my children's children whom I will not know as adults but only as children. And I'll never know their children either.  Wish I could hold them.  So, I am writing to those future adults whom I love fiercely.  Think about these things. You can only hold one thought or so in your mind at a time---they say we have up to 60,000 thoughts per day. These are God's thoughts for us. And, the thought from today's reading is this---let us not defy or defeat the Counsel of Heaven. Don't live in contempt of court---contempt of the Divine Will, contempt of this counsel of Noah.  

Maybe, I'm wrong in some ways.  Maybe, I'm right in some ways about spiritual things.  Bob said tonight at our favorite Mexican restaurant, "Christianity is very disruptive."  It is.  So many things I don't know.  I just know I deeply understand and believe and trust and follow my Creator. Nothing can snatch me out of His Hands---not my brother.  It would have already happened... .

PHOTO:  Santa Rosa Island where we've gone for the past several decades every tender June. A children's castle caught my eye. A fragile fortress because... Castles can crumble. Live for Him not for ourselves.

3 - "Live to Cover Not To Expose" Genesis 7-9

                           

                                                     

SHUTTERED. The Lord shut Noah in an ark for one year. Has the Lord "shut us in" to make us holy? Genesis 7:16. And when shut in my circumstances, do I live "to cover not to expose." Cover your family and friends with grace. Genesis 9:26.                                                                                  

Flooding from the worst engineering disaster in US history decimated 80% of my hometown of New Orleans and displaced every known living relative of my parents.  I never heard again from the handful of relatives.  Catalytic.  Catastrophic.

Noah never heard again from any of the thousands of people who died in the flood of his day---those who held evil intentions continually. Serious business here. 8 Survivors.  Noah lived because he found favor and walked with God---and he took his family with him.   

What would it be like to see your world fall apart in front of your ark window while you rocked safely on the untested waters for six months, crammed next to your questioning family and not-so-quiet thousands of animals---some commentaries say 16,000 in all.  An unbelievable story of faith in the midst of screaming deadly circumstances.  What things loom and look impossible to me this year?  Even this week!  "The Lord shut them in" ~ Genesis 7:16.  Has the Lord "shut us in" to make us holy?  

Brookie's family was shut in about one year when she carried her twins and birthed them into the world with such difficulties surrounding. Brookie walked by faith not sight and held fast in tight places. She still is. 2024 threw a couple of curve balls and she swung hard. Rising above her circumstances.Trusting God.  She's a pretty awesome human. 

May we know this day, we are a remembered tribe.  And that changes everything.  I hope I remember how much I want new eyes, new ears, a new voice.  And to be like the two brothers in Genesis 9:26 covering their father's shame.  Moving in to truly love. Wonder what that looks like in this life of ours?  I know it's not a safe dismissiveness.  No.  No cool distances.  Move to love. Live to cover not to expose. A blanket of grace. 

PHOTOS:  August 2020. Brooke carries twins. Bristol is not quite two. The babies arrive on Earth nine weeks early. 

2 - "The Morning Stars Still Sing" Genesis 4-6

PRESENT Ask yourself why you are angry, what's really going on with your responses? Why is your face sad? Genesis 4:6-7. What's going on within?                  

I bought loads of bargain furniture from the Bombay Outlet back in the day.  They knew me well.  I would always have three kids in tow for the quick look around the tiny bargain-of-the-century store.  I was trying to teach Barrett to be kind and Brooke to just talk in public.  As we left the store that January morning, I encouraged Barrett to say something kind to our friend, Shirley, behind the counter.  I was hoping for a "bye bye." With his quick  dimpled 5-year-old hand, he let the exit door slam, turned around immediately and said with great gusto:  "If you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it."  Genesis 4:6-7. "Oh, OK. That's interesting," replied Miss Shirley. I can still see her face. 

I've thought about her all these years.

I taught you three that verse because the one before it says: "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast?" I wanted you to learn to deal with your own hearts and not everybody else's, especially your siblings. But, it's for me this morning. I'm waiting out a recovery from a freak fall on November 30th.  3 more X-rays today.  Still having awful spasms in my back and knees from the spill.  But more than what is happening physically, I need to look at my own heart, deal with my own stuff. And as I do ...  Things aren't as they appear.  And a tear falls.  I'm just not where I thought I would be in life or in soul or story or in friends.  So, I'll keep walking in that darkness, trusting, no light.  And I'll keep asking the same question the 3 Wise Men asked in Matthew 2---where is He? The North Star brought them to the Savior in a Manger.  The North Star sang. The Morning Stars still sing. Job 38:7---from that First Day of Creation to this very day.

My Prayer for today is for deliverance from what grabs your soul that is not right and good and just.  I've been more concerned about my body healing than my soul healing. Ask yourself the good questions: Why is my soul going limp?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     PHOTO: Brooke | Blair | Barrett circa 1986 A Sunday Morning. After Hope Church. Sitting on the swing at 4824 Kilpatrick Avenue, Fort Worth, Texas.  Our First House where the morning stars sang.  #counseling #counselyourself---whatisreallygoingonwithin 

1 - "Sounds of God" Genesis 1-3

SOUNDS OF GOD. Spoken by a Word, not for your curiosity, but for your soul to know this---There Is A Creator brooding over the burgeoning darkness and giving energy to a nascent world.    Listen for the sounds of God in your life. Genesis 1 #60000thoughtseveryday #1thoughtfortoday #talkingtomyself 

                                                        

God is Brooding over our very lives this very day. Genesis 1:2.                                                                Darkness was on the face of the deep.                                                                                                                                  

It's a soundless moment. Then, a Word Spoken and a Creation painted for us, not for our curiosity, but for our very souls to know this---There is a Creator. Genesis 1:3. And He knows you.                              

And once upon that blackness, that Creator moved over the burgeoning darkness and gave energy to a nascent world.  He brooded like a mama bird over its young, says the Hebrew commentaries.  And it was George MacDonald who alluded that we were then born in His Thoughts in that darkness. Beams of dazzling light began to unwrap, unravel, undo the chaotic mass. Creation. Man. And the sounds of God.   There is so much noise in this world. The grandkids really need to listen for God in their lives. 

The Creative Spirit of God is the principle of all life.  This is the only Center we have and know.  And He is still hovering over you and your life this new day, this brand new year.  I pray you may know deeply His moves, His hovering. Especially over your darkest spots. The dark nights have always been the hardest of times for me since my terrifying childhood. I perceived danger all around me. Even though I have matured greatly, there are dreaded nights that rip the skin off of me. But, as I have aged, I am more convinced than ever of God's providence and presence. This I know:  A Good God is brooding over all my nights and days. George MacDonald called it: "One Grand Providence--- if we just believe.

PHOTO:  30,000 feet above the Earth. A blanket of clouds covering Kansas City where God is brooding. Over 100 trips o Kansas City. God. May the Providence of God rule over all and be heard. Psalm 139:5.

#Godbroods #darknightofthesoul #counselyourself---whereareyou? #liveinthepresentmoment #wonder #soundsofGod