134 - "I Want To Be Greater Than David" 1 Chronicles 8-10

The valiant men stripped Saul of his head and armor. I Chronicles 10:8.  On a mount separating two unfriendly regions. And Saul's body is hung on the fence.  No more breath. I stood there on Mount Gilboa where you can see as far as the eye stretches both east and west. They chose that spot so that both directions could see Saul was dead. I stood at the spot where they hung Saul's body. And I so wondered as I stood there what it would have been like to have a father-in-law that wreaked so much havoc on you; and I wondered what it was like to live in those days.  Did they struggle with being invisible or independent.  Did they try to manage their lives to just make things work.  And the words of Saul haunt me---you remember the dancing in the street party where the women sang to Saul and he contemplated:  "They have ascribed unto David ten thousands but to me they have ascribed thousands."  I Sam 18:6-9.  From that day and forward to his very death, Saul never dealt with what really went on in his own soul.  May I deal this day with these misgivings that plague me. I struggle with everyone having a place, a space, an ace in the hold.  Things are not that tidy for me.  May we be a people known for surrender.  May I repent of anything that is not dependence on my Lord. 

I wrestle today, my LORD, with this mantra of Saul. Someone I trusted with my heart once told me: We will see who is right by the results of your life and church growth. I didn't think it was right then nor now. We are here for your glory, not numbers and prestige. Saul wanted to be somebody better and greater than David.  Father, help me to put on the full armor of God not just a shiny armor of protection.  Clothe me in this chink that I may learn to think better than this.  Thank you for detaching us from anything that makes us want to look for credit and praise for ourselves. 

PHOTO:  Reminds me of Mount Gilboa where you could see forever.  Something contemplative about miles and miles.  Something going on in my heart where I feel invisible and have found Something far better and I was looking for the wrong thing.